Behaviour

[bexollie]

I have been reading this website for a while now and have been approved as a foster carer but haven't had an offer yet that's suitable as they match carefully to start with to build experience. I find many comments negative towards the behaviour of children and there are many comments that all their behaviour is bad. Is there any one out there who has had a good experience and managed a child and has good comments to make .

Hi are you discussing the comments on the profile you are sending the info we are given before we make a decision.

I'd agree bexollie....much of the comments left on here can be negative but I guess people use this as a support and a place to vent.

I could talk for hours about how positive the experience of fostering has been for myself, my partner and the rest of my family. We have been lucky to have two amazing FC become part of our lives and family. Matching is so important and doesn't always happen or go to plan. Our FC are now 16 & 13 having been with us over two years. Yes it can be difficult yes it can be challenging but if you stick in, be firm and have the ability to laugh when there is nothing else for it then you will be great!

Are you asking about the real life experience of fostering or the profiles you see from social services when they are looking to find a carer?

I'm speaking about the comments made on here by carers ,just to make you aware I do not understand the sparklymarion message but thanks Alistair 84 that's helpful
I realise that it's a chat etc but there are not many positives at all .I have time to give a child and want to do things with a child but this site paints such a bad picture.

Well, I've fostered for many years. The children we had all had behavioural difficulties of some sort, due to their experiences with birth families, attachment issues etc. Some children have been easier to look after than others, but all have been very different to look after than our own children.

How far are you with looking into fostering? Have you been on the two day course yet?

Sorry, just seen that you have been approved and are awaiting a placement.

I was approved in May and got a social worker in June so it's just waiting for a placement now they have told me they try and match up to suit all sides.ill be getting a child for one night as their carers are going somewhere so thats my first placement next week I'm sure it will take off from there .I've done half the workbook and booked on all the courses for the first year that I need to do

Your child for one night will seem like a breeze called the holiday period (unless it absconds) good luck

It may state on here a lot of negative behaviours but we do deal with children with complex needs. I have been a foster carers for six years and have dealt with a range of behaviours

It is still a privilege to be allowed to care for children and be part of their lives.

My 2 haven't given me much real bother. I wouldn't say we were particularly matched. SS just needed a place for them and I'd been approved 2 days earlier so had space! That was 3 years ago and they've been with me ever since.

They've never given me any real trouble. They're 8 and 9 now and they attend school, behave (usually) well there, they go to extra curricular clubs without being kicked out, they've never trashed the house. They occasionally wallop each other but I remember fighting with my own brother so know it's fairly normal! When I take them out places they're often better behaved than other children there.

I do find it stressful and hard work sometimes but I think that's the same for a lot of birth parents. I don't regret going in for fostering for a second.

I am so eager to have a child and I'm sure I will really enjoy it , I'm really enjoying learning as much as I can and it's nice to hear of experiences from others. I was told it wouldn't be long in May and I still waiting ,the one night stay didn't go ahead as the carer found someone to have him so I'm quite disappointed as it was all sorted out but these things happen

Good luck and remember its human nature to moan no ones shares the good stories.. I have two young people here since November and whilst it's hard work there now part of the family and will be keeping them long term x

I am concerned about behaviour too. I am in the early stages of the registration process. I have a 3 year old son so I am hopeful that we get a FC who will be OK with a younger child.

I am relatively new to fostering just 5 years. I take short term placements, the three main placements have been five year old for 6 months, one year old for 14 months and a 16 year old for 18 months.

Each have been very different in the rewards and stresses they brought to our family.

The stresses in each case have been in relation to behaviour occurring in relation to seeing their birth families (and this varied from daily, to weekly to bi-monthly dependent on individual situations).

Each of them came with behaviours related to their past experiences, but those behaviours we worked on over time, and they changed as a result of being with us. It was very rewarding to see each of them develop as individuals and grow in resilience and strength. To see their fears reduce and their confidence grow, and to be part of that process was a privilege.

It is hard work, it is not like dealing with your own children, but it is very rewarding. It does impact your own children, in both positive and negative ways, and managing that is part of the fostering process.

We are currently taking a break from fostering, just to give ourselves all time to recuperate and regenerate before welcoming another child into our family.