Thinking of fostering

[ElleDubloo]

Hi everyone. I have some very basic questions about fostering. For many years now, I've been dreaming of fostering children in the future. I'm happily married, with two DC, and we both work full time. My DC have a very comfortable life, and this is my main motivation for fostering - to give some stability and comfort to children who are not fortunate enough to be born into it. Like a "why do my DC get to live this life when so many others don't" sort of thing.

My questions are:

1. Is my motivation a good one, or do I need to get over my saviour complex?

1. Will I be any good at fostering troubled children, considering I've had a sheltered life myself and never lacked anything?

1. How old should my DC be before I start? Appreciate everyone will have a different answer to this, so please give your reasons. I was thinking of fostering only babies while my own DC are under 18, then taking on older children once my DC leave home. Any pros/cons to this that I haven't considered?

1. Can I foster while working full or part time? Am I allowed to send fostered children to nursery/childminders or does that defeat the purpose of fostering them?

I realise I'm saying "I" rather than "we" a lot. This is because DH works in an incredibly busy job, and while I have his moral support, in reality it'll be me doing most of the parenting.

Hi I have been a foster carer for five years I love mr job would never turn back but it is very challenging and at times there has been tears (from me)

1 yes motivation is a good a reason (although in real life it's not always like this. Sometimes with teenagers it can be managing behaviours some children struggle to allow you to care for them and initially they all have been wrenches from family's are traumatised and are not happy and why would then be and try to reject you before you do them)

2 this will depend of how realistic you are and what age you go for. What could you deal with teenager drugs,alcohol,sexual exploitation. Younger children... swearing need constant attention. Pushing your buttons, mess, soiling, refusal to follow simple tasks, you will not foster Annie .. one child at times can be like looking after three other children and can take a lot of your time. In times of crisis my children have needed to understand the triggers as to when they are best going to their room, for their own safety and so I can have privacy to deal with the situation

3 my children were 6 8 and 13 when I started (I deal with older teenagers initially as most behaviours that were issues were outside of my home), foster younger children now and my youngest who is 12 can get jealous at times. A lot of this can depend on your own children I have heard people with teenage girls say they wouldn't want other teenage girls who are sexually actively but if you have put the work in with your own she will have been brought up with your morals and have self respect something that can be hard to teach later in life although not impossible.

1. Depend on who you foster for la allow you to work but it is poorly paid when you start initially I work for an IFA private which is better paid but we do get more challenging children and at times I have needed to work as I have had children who have been expelled.

I would ready some Cathy glass books look at attachment books this will give you an insight into fostering. Fostering is so rewarding but it is very hard work and you need to know your own morals, what pushes your buttons and what you and your family could accept.

Hi, looking for some advice, my wife and I are wanting to start fostering, we already have a 12 year old boy who is fortunately mature beyond his years so we are lucky that age would never be an issue. However my wife currently has a full time job as do I. The point being, and I know this will sound terrible but, if my wife was to give up work to become the full time foster carer ( my job pays over double hers so that is the agreement she decided upon) is it financially viable to leave work and if so is it best fostering for the council fostering service or a private firm? More to the point what is the difference? And the most important question is; Which is best for the child to be fostered? Is there a difference in support both pastorally and financially? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, my instinct is with the council as it's a (very unfortunately) never ending issue they will always have to deal with so are seemingly best placed?