Supported Lodgings

[pinktransit]

I am very excited, and just a little nervous...
I have recentlly been approved as a Supported Lodgings provider, and my yp has moved in this evening.
I just needed to tell someone - and it's not appropriate to spread it over Facebook/social media. :)

Now I just have to get used to living with a teenager again - my dds are 24 and 25, and haven't lived at home full time since 17 for dd1, dd2 moved out for Uni at 18, came back afterwards, but moved out over a year ago.

Now I have a 17 yr old again. I'm guessing that the next 3 months or so as we get used to each other are going to be a bit of a roller coaster - I may be using this space to vent/ask for advice.

I know this is the fostering board, so hope I'm in the right place - are there any other supported lodgings providers here?

Oh good for you! I used to work with care leavers and there was a waiting list for supported lodgings as so many of them were keen for a place

No personal experience, I read this board as an adoptive parent and because I work with young people leaving care as part of my job, but I just wanted to wish you well.

I'm sure there will be a settling in phase and it could well be challenging at points, but for both the young person placed with you and for yourself, I hope there are also many blessings.

Hi Pink, I'm glad you posted. I was approved as a supported lodgings provider at Xmas time, but haven't had anyone placed with me yet. There was a YP who was going to come but kept being offered other options (she was heavily pregnant!) and eventually went elsewhere, so I've put it off for now until my DD's exams are over.

I'll be discussing a placement with them again soon though.

I hope all is going well so far - good luck and keep posting.

Thanks for the responses :)
Hi whattodo - I had a couple of YP that were suggested and didn't work out for whatever reason before I had this placement. I think it's pretty much par for the course.

It's going - um.... interestingly so far. Mostly good, with some boundary pushing on visitors and house rules. Nothing I didn't expect.

Tonight, however, she's out and I have no idea where, who with, and she's not answering her phone. I've told her that if she doesn't contact me then I'll have to report her as missing to the duty social worker.

I'm not holding my breath, and am expecting the 'I was at my friends and fell asleep', 'my phone was out of battery and I couldn't call you' excuses. I will have to come down harder than I wanted to.

Still, I didn't expect it to be a bed of roses to start with :)

I adopted a little boy over 18 months ago and frequently flit over to this board as I do wonder about fostering in a few years.

What is Supported Lodgings? Never heard of it and am now intrigued.

It's a scheme where a young person (16-19) is provided with lodgings in a family environment for a period of time, until they're able to live independently. The YP is either coming out of care or is unable to stay at home, so is supported by the new family and may be helped with life skills etc to enable them to live on their own.

Hi Pink, I hope your YP turned up in the end - was she ok?

I've had an email about a placement. Lots of issues and I'm feeling a bit nervous about it, being a LP myself, there's no backup at home, it's all down to me, so I'm hoping I can manage.

We have a long term foster child who is now 18 and in supported lodgings while the council get their act together and sort a flat out. It's working fine but we all know each other well anyway and the rules were established years ago. I think the key is having rules and sticking to them.

Oops, sorry, haven't checked in for a while on this board :)
Yes, she reappeared the next day, having fallen asleep at a friends house...
I didn't need to do or say much, as the police, her support worker, my social worker and her mum all managed to get involved.
I just had to put in place some better ways of communicating that have worked well since.

The biggest sticking point has been communication, and we now have a blackboard, a house book and a wall calendar as well as actually speaking to each other :)

This month has been somewhat different as it's Ramadan, and she has been opening her fast with family and friends most evenings - after Eidd, she will be back at home more often and we can start some basic cooking skills and the other bits that she will need to live independently. It is going well so far though, and I'm enjoying having a young person around again.

I am a former foster child and although I am quite old (60+) I am in touch with several young people who are in or have been in Supported Lodgings. I don't want to post too much here but please private message me if you want advice.

Hello everyone. I'm so pleased to find this thread as I'm currently going through the application process to be a supported lodgings provider. I've got all the usual anxieties which I've been told are normal and healthy. I'm in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, in case anyone else on here is near?!
I live on my own, so one of my main concerns is about shouldering everything myself (similar to whattodoforthebest2). Also, I don't have my own children (but I'm greatly involved with others' children and have experience working and living with young people), so I don't have a huge amount of experience of living with teenagers. I'm excited about it but also approaching the whole process with a lot of care and consideration, as we of course always should, particularly when vulnerable people are involved. I have to decide if it's right for me, as much as the other way round. It would be really great to chat with those of you who are more experienced if I get accepted. I strongly agree on limits and communication, and I know that there will be a lot of boundary/commitment testing. I would like to have a house agreement set in place from the start and really like the sound of the communication aids pinktransit has in place. You're all doing an amazing job.

From past experience and present, you will have too build your own areas of support available within the local community, more so in inclusion's developing trust and self esteem, help them explore enjoyable options secure in the fact there is some where too come home too, where they can talk, plan the next step forward when moving on.
We have moved on young adults with disability's into sheltered supportive accommodation, this again is a rather complicated with putting in personal and care budgets, worth looking into with LA Adult Disability Team
they sent us on a 12 month course for us too understand and do this with an outside consultancy, has proved invaluable for some as we are able too over see continuity of care, even today after they have moved on several years ago.
Good luck

How's it going Alexandra?

I'm finding that although I initially set very strong boundaries and limits (and am very glad that I did!), we are now much more relaxed. Possibly a little too relaxed at the moment, and I'm going to have to pull it back in a little.
Having said that, she's really great, and has had to deal with more than we'd expected to with my personal life - she had the choice to stay with me or move to another provider in September when my partner died. She wanted to stay, and calls here 'home' which is lovely.

She's seen how much support I have had from friends and family, given unconditionally, which I think is new to her, so that's good too.
All in all, I'm finding it easier than I thought I would in some ways - my parents say that's because my expectations are realistic :-)

She's 18 in just under a month, and I'm sure that will bring new challenges too...

You are teaching her such great things!
So sorry for your loss.