Can working parents be foster carers?

[thinkingaboutthis]

DH and I have been considering fostering. We have 2 girls of our own aged 5 and 1 and a spare bedroom. I work school hours/term times and DH works three days a week from home all year round. We wouldn't be able to give up a wage to foster.

We had thought an older child who is at school, maybe a girl aged 9+, would work best.

the only way to know for sure is to contact your local SS and ask them. I would think that a school aged child would work well, especially if your DH has any flexibility on the days he works from home.

The main issue is the sheer number of meetings you will be required to attend for the child - in my last placement, there were independent reviews (1 after a month, then 6 monthly); therapist sessions (every 3 weeks), social worker visits (every 10 days) supervision visits (every 6 weeks), medical and dental (after 1 month and then every 6 months), school PEPs (every term) plus contact visits (3x a week) - although these might be organised by SS....

Most of these meetings only last an hour, but it is doable outside school hours. Transport to and from school may disrupt your own childrens schooling so consider this when accepting a placement (one of mine was in a school and it was all working smoothly - until school decided to change its start time without consultation).

I don't know what the official answer is but I can't see how the families I know who foster could make it work.

The nature of the work is that the children are troubled. This comes out in numerous ways but the foster carers I know spend a lot of time in school. They are being called in to deal with behavioural issues on a regular basis. Perhaps the people I know (who are very experienced carers) get given the more "difficult" cases though.

We both work part time on different days of the week so there is always one of us here. In all honesty, it is hard and we are having to consider one of us completely finishing work. The commitment is relentless, not only the meetings, contact etc, but also the amount of time you need to devote to a child that is so damaged, scared and demanding. It is nowhere like having another child of your own!

The other issue maybe some LAs don't like you to foster a child older than your own as it upsets the dynamics of your family (this is the case with our LA) might be worth asking them about it

Are you thinking of short term or long term placement. Either way children rarely come singly, they are usually in sibling groups, and there is a shortage of carers for these children, middle years aged and children with disabilities. I think thinking of a girl 9 + isn't very realistic to be honest. And agree that it isn't a good idea to foster a child older than your eldest as they lose their place as eldest in the family.

Your motivation isn't clear, but take note of what wonderpants says - she talks good sense.

Ha ha thanks NanaNina!

There are no rules preventing working parents from fostering, likewise, single, same sex partners, etc.etc.
But you will need to be able to cope with the meetings and training expected, our LA has many working foster cares with families of their own who cope well.Some work shifts and share the duties, others couples cope by having just one of them do the training, meetings etc.
Don't be bullied into accepting children who may not fit into your family, we have carers who only take girls, some refuse to take girls while other refuse teenage boys.