Am I right in thinking that if SS takes a child into care, birth parents won't usually get to choose foster/adoptive families from among their freinds?

[Saracen]

Hope you all don't mind me passing through with my question!

A friend of mine has had her child taken into care by Social Services and placed temporarily with a relative. The reason, as I understand, is that SS believe the mum to be unstable at this time: depression, anxiety etc. She (birth mum) did not want this to happen and is now desperately going round all of her friends and acquaintances asking them whether they would foster or adopt her child if SS decide not to return the child to her.

She is asking my help with this: would I take her child in, or would I persuade someone else to do so. For several reasons I don't think this is an appropriate step at this time, but she is adamant.

I had the impression that it doesn't work the way she imagines anyway. Wouldn't SS first try to place the child with extended family and then failing that, with someone chosen by themselves (rather than by the birth mum) from among a pool of existing foster carers or prospective adopters? Would the mum get any say at all, and if so how?

Thanks for your help!

No she's right. Social services will ask birth parents if they have anyone in their network, friends or family, who will look after the child. Then the social worker will do an assessment of the person or people they put forward. This also applies in cases where the child isn't going to be returned to the parents care.

Sorry I didn't read your OP properly.
Short answer - yes she's right.

Ah OK, thanks. That's very helpful to know.

I guess I'll need to speak with her about it at greater length then!

I'd advise your friend to speak to a solicitor ASAP. I've known lots of children who were temporarily removed from parents with depression/anxiety who were subsequently returned when things improved. Your friend will understandably be worrying herself stupid right now and a solicitor will be able to put things more into perspective.

Please reassure her that at this point adoption is a long way off (assuming she's been honest with you about the facts behind the removal).

Thank you, scarlet5tyger! She does have a solicitor and has been reassured by various people that nothing permanent is likely to happen in the near future but of course that doesn't stop her worrying. If she isn't allowed to look after her daughter herself, she wants to have some input into who does, which I do understand.