Ugh, I feel so stressed about foster dd

[PenisesAreNotPink]

She's going with her family for a weeks holiday and she's really stressed about it. I feel uncomfortable for her and I know I'm going to worry

I've been through some strategies with her but I know that one of the ways she will cope is by being adaptable and mimicking their behaviour which er, isn't desirable and is anti social.

Just having a moan really.

Lots of sympathy from me, I'm in the same position.

Mine is going next week to stay with their family and it's always awful. FC is really worried about it and doesn't really want to go, but feels they don't have a choice.

They say themselves they "act like a dick" around their family, and for a while after they return. They also mimic family behaviour which isn't great.

We're going away ourselves a few days after they get back, hopefully a few days away will help them get back to normal pretty quickly

Thank you, that's really kind

This will be the longest time in a decade she's been away from me and she's only had a couple of overnights before (mum keeps moving in criminals and druggies that don't pass DBS checks) which is why she's had so few.

Mine goes every school holiday for a week.

FC hates it and doesn't want to go, I've tried to support them not to go, but they feel they have no choice

It's difficult, I hate sending them off knowing what they're going off to, but equally I dread their return

Just to clarify, I don't dread FC's return as such, more that their behaviour is so awful for a few weeks. I hate it

I understood that, same here.

Every time she goes something new arises, they've had to sign agreements saying they won't give her vodka

Their 'parenting ' is just wildly inappropriate and has few boundaries, they see nothing wrong with letting her go out at 2 am when their all pissed for a walk.

So that when she comes back and normal life resumes she gets arsey at not being allowed to carry out unsafe behaviours.

. I got my ears ripped off for suggesting I wasn't looking forward to FC's return to FC's social worker so I'm wary about putting my foot in my mouth now.

Lots and lots of alcohol misuse and very aggressive behaviour from the whole family every time, which FC mimics (and is actually encouraged in by their family) this continues for a few weeks following their return.

It actually really annoys me that the SW continues to push these long visits. SW knows FC doesn't want to go, knows why and knows all the problems we have when FC returns, but they still continue to "strongly encourage" it as it's what FC's family wants. FC would rather shorter weekend or day trips

We have the joy of picking up the pieces when FC returns every single time and it's bloody awful

Find this all strange, if child of the age of competence would have choices by their own right in law social services will be aware of this. see and Google Gillick competence.

Even if child is under age and later decides too evoke the situation later
their could be litigation against social services, due too effect this has had on their past life and their future.