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Fostering

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Advice needed please

5 replies

CateringCalamities · 12/08/2014 16:03

We are new(ish) Foster Carers, we have a current placement of a teen who has been with us almost 3 weeks. We are having problems with teen being very light fingered, they have stolen money and numerous items from us in the short time they have been with us. My question is what is the best way to deal with it, we have been calm, had numerous chats with our teen, told them what will happen if they carry on with this behaviour but nothing is seeming to sink in. I do understand that it is early days but we need to do this right to get the best outcome.
Any advise would be greatly appreciated Grin

OP posts:
suzylee73 · 12/08/2014 21:21

It's really hard to stop a teen stealing from you, I have lost hundreds if pounds in the past. The only suggestion I can make is to hide everything which I suspect you already are. Please don't take it personally though I know that's hard. Maybe her social worker could take her out for coffee and a chat?

CateringCalamities · 13/08/2014 09:31

We do hide everything, it seems silly sometimes when you going up to bed and you have handfuls of your belongings with you. Its the feeling paranoid and unsettled when the YP is upstairs and your downstairs, you feel you have to keep checking on them but then they know you dont trust them and think well if i am not trusted i might as well steal it away. Had a few chats with their SW but nothing seems to sink in at all. Really at a loss what to do.

OP posts:
Stinkle · 13/08/2014 14:42

We had problems with our last placement stealing.

It became 2nd nature to never leave anything of any value lying around. We'd go up to bed at night with handfuls of car keys, phones and wallets - I was once sorting out some money for a school trip, put a £10 note on the kitchen worktop - turned my back for a second to get an envelope from a drawer the other side of the kitchen, by the time I'd turned back they'd taken it. I called them out on it and they gave it back, but it got ridiculous.

We tried everything, but in the end bought a bike lock - kept everything in my wardrobe and put the lock on it.

CateringCalamities · 13/08/2014 15:29

Other than this stealing malarkey, there is a really nice, bright kid who we both like but sadly dont trust with belongings. It's a tough one eh!! Well onwards and upwards, we will deal with things as when they happen, tis all we can do at the minute.
For things stolen from the home is there a way to claim back from the LA? Or if you went through your home insurance would the police need to be contacted? All this is new to us and just so not sure how to handle and what to do for the best Confused

OP posts:
Chillyevenings · 22/08/2014 14:54

We've had children who have stolen for us, especially respite or short term placements. We don't leave anything of value downstairs, our bedroom door is always locked ( we keep our medicine cabinet in there, so easy to justify to the children as a safety measure). Handbag wallet, never left around etc. we've never claimed for anything stolen, neither have we claimed for things that children have smashed up (had some major rampages). We do make sure that our buildings and contents insurance providers are aware that we are foster carers too.

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