Help, the woman who abused me is fostering

11 replies

Curlysuewhataboutyou · 04/12/2013 06:37

Sorry not sure where to post but thought maybe you could help me here.

The is the first time I've admitted this so excuse me if I don't cover everything or get muddled. My family friend a women a six years older than me has sexually abused me from the age of about 7 (at the least that's my first memory of it, she would of had ample opportunity). She also abused my friend and me together and made us do things to each other so I know it wasn't just me. however this friend is living far away and I havn't seen her in years. Now this older woman is now a foster carer and has been doing so for four years. I am horrified and really worried to the pint where I can't sleep at night knowing she had access to kids. I think I should report her but am not sure I would be taken serisouly. Would the authorities see this abuse as kids play even though it continued into my teenage years before I had the courage to push her off me and end it (I never realised it was wrong until then I think).

There are many problems in this instance involving family, same town etc am not sure how to do this or what would happen. Should I report her to social services? I don't want to contact the police as I've no idea if this is seen as abuse or not? This is so confusing, I don't know what to do. Any advice would help please.

OP posts:

thoughtsbecomethings · 04/12/2013 06:44

You need to contact the police and SS they will take you seriously.

Mckayz · 04/12/2013 06:46

You need to contact the police and SS.

thoughtsbecomethings · 04/12/2013 06:47

A close friend was abused over 40 years ago, they reported it and they were taken very seriously and it was investigated fully.

steeking · 04/12/2013 06:51

police first I would think. I'm guessing they will contact SS .

desperateforaholiday · 04/12/2013 06:51

I agree, it will be hard but you need to report her. You will be taken seriously. One of the men my grandmother married abused my cousin, he is now serving prison time even though it wasn't reported for 20 years.

ohmeohmyforgotlogin · 04/12/2013 06:57

Agree report. Call 101 for the police. You have bravely spoken out on here, now take the next step. Come back here for additional support if you need it.

Original poster

Curlysuewhataboutyou · 04/12/2013 08:09

I am willing to contact the police & SS but I really don't wasn't to start a court case or reveal what happened to my family as they would be deveststed. I can deal with that on my own. would the SS want/need my details or can I do this anonymously?

OP posts:

DwellsUndertheSink · 04/12/2013 09:24

Curley, call SS in her area, and tell them what you have told us. Including the bit about not involving your family. If you are approaching this from a child protection POV, then they will understand its not a malicious call...but you owe it to the kids in her care to make the call...today...Please don't let another day go by where she could be abusing a child.

And just for clarity, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG, and you have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

DontCallMeDaughter · 04/12/2013 09:30

I would call the NSPCC rather than the police (0808 800 5000). They will be very kind to you and will talk you through everything that will happen, and the process. They should support you through each step and can coordinate the police and social services on your behalf if you need them to. They should probably be able to arrange counselling and legal support if you feel you need it. Best of luck, I think you're amazing speaking out to help protect whomever is unlucky enough to be fostered by this woman.

Original poster

Curlysuewhataboutyou · 04/12/2013 10:07

Ok am going to do it, I'll call SS today. I am shaking about this. I really don't want anyone knowing who had done it. I made a few enquiries to a friend who knows this woman and she has been reported before, just shortly after she bagan fostering but it was for a different matter. They didn't stop her then I hope they do now. It makes me feel sick that she has these kids in her care ( I only found out 3 days ago that she fosters).

OP posts:

dawdyman · 05/12/2013 11:49

You need to call the police, not SSD, in the first instance. They will do the coordinating. What happened to you was a crime and should be be reported as such. The matter would be dealt with by their public protection unit. They will be sympathetic and discreet. explain your worries. They will have been there before. You will deal with plain clothes officers, not action men with utility belts. These are specially trained officers. They will inform SSD. You will be taken seriously. They will want to know why you are reporting this now, and they will likely want to speak to your friend, but it's up to you how much information you disclose. If you act on this today, I doubt she will have any looked after children in her care by the weekend.

SSD will only refer to the police
NSPCC will only refer to the police

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