Birth mother dying

[Thenappyfairy]

Hi, I'm new to this forum but not new to fostering. I'm in a situation I've not been in before and wondered if others have.

Several years ago I fostered siblings who were eventually separated. One went to a family member, the other two were adopted by two different families. I'm still in occasional contact with all three children although they only have letter box contact with each other.

A couple of weeks ago I heard that birth mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The relative with child A obviously knows but as far as I know the new families of child B and C do not. Will social services get back in touch with them to let them know? Do I mention it next time I see them, which could be many months away and possibly after birth mother passes away, or do I say nothing and pretend I don't know??

Hi, what an awful situation. I think I would contact social worker/department who dealt with the adoptions and share the information with them, hopefully they will know how to handle it and you won't have to worry further.

I think that adoptive families are supposed to be advised of deaths of family members by SS , not sure about illnesses though.

My DS's birth grandmother ,who we have letter box contact with died of cancer last year.

We were only told about her death by the carer of my DS's half siblings who we have direct contact with.

We have never officially been told by SS even though we are supposed to be sending twice yearly letters.

If my DS's birth mother had a terminal illness I would want my DS to have the chance to meet her before she died but I doubt we would be advised in time and SS would probably advise against a meeting anyway.

Hello again and thanks for your comments.

I contacted SS as suggested but both adoptive SWs have taken voluntary redundancy and no-one could tell me over the phone who is now responsible for these two children. They were adopted some time ago so are probably no longer thought of as needing support.

I was worrying myself silly about the situation though so contacted my link worker who is now doing the worrying for me!

Angel, sorry to read that about you not being informed of DS grandmothers passing, but sadly not surprised.