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Fostering

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Kinship fostering and sgo

16 replies

mrbojangles · 26/07/2012 18:49

Hello ladies,
I've been a member of mumsnet for many years but in recent times have barely lurked.
My situation has recently changed and am hoping those of you with more experience could perhaps give advice or point me in the right direction in which to get it.
My dh and I are currently going through the fostering assesment process. We have had our niece since her birth 4months ago. Our panel date is in 2 weeks.
Following a approval which we have no reason to believe wont happen ( still nervous) we will be starting the process for a special guardianship order.
Where I'm struggling is I haven't found anyone in a similar situation to us and when I google kinship care it's mainly support for grandparents and our situation is quite different. One we've had our neice since birth and two she will still have contact with her parents. I've looked to our social workers for advice but they also have no relative experience that even slightly mirrors our situation. So my question is is anyone out there who has a similar situation of experience of one?
Any advice greatly received.

OP posts:
mrbojangles · 26/07/2012 19:03

Having not been on mumsnet for a few years now I've just noticed there is another poster in fostering with the same nickname so to save any confusion I'll try and change mine.

OP posts:
bonnieslilsister · 27/07/2012 16:40

I must admit I was very confused reading your first post!

Mrpip · 27/07/2012 20:18

I'm the original poster but I've name changed.
Thanks for replying bonnieslillsister.
Sorry my post was not clear. Im sure everyone's busy but perhaps that's why I've not had any responses.
I was just Hopeing to get some advise on kinship care and the possible hurdles I may face in the future raising my niece.

bonnieslilsister · 27/07/2012 20:27

Just bumping for you as I dont have much experience of this. Hope you find someone to help Smile

Also how nice of you to do this

jaquelinehydeJumpChampion · 27/07/2012 20:30

Hello, welcome back to MN.

In all honesty I'm not sure that it would be any different for you as an Aunt. The obstacles and challenges would be the same apart from as a Grandparent you may have the additional problem of age, which may not be something you need to worry about.

jaquelinehydeJumpChampion · 27/07/2012 20:32

I also think that there are a lot of Grandparents who have had children from birth and supervise contact with the birth parents (one obviously being their own child)

Mrpip · 27/07/2012 21:01

Thanks for replies.
Yes I agree alot of the basic issues would be the same for grandparents. And I'm not adverse to advice from any kinship carer, I'd welcome any experience.
We pushed for a viability assesment when my sister was pregnant as it had become apparent that the la were looking to remove my niece at birth. It was a upward battle but we managed to have her discharged from hospital into our care. We have since completed the fostering assesment and are waiting to go to panel. Our sgo assesment is ready to start.
The main concerns are how does this all work with a close wider family and what can I do to make my neices path in life as smooth as possible.
My sister has regular contact with her daughter as do her children ( my neices siblings) her father is otherwise indisposed at her magestys pleasure but otherwise a keen participant (so he says).His parents and extended family are also enthusiastic. I'm pleased that her parents are involved however i worry about the unrealiable nature of both parents (they are not in this situation for no reason afterall) and am thinking about
how to best manage this in the future.
Any advice greatly received. I feel like I want to start as I wish to go on. We have four children ourselves so there's a fair few people to consider in this journey!

jaquelinehydeJumpChampion · 28/07/2012 00:19

My sister has severe mental health issues and her daughter was removed and placed with our Mum and Dad.

My parents were originally kinship carers and then went through the entire process you are about to embark on and were eventually made special guardians. They have, throughout the entire process and beyond, maintained contact between both birth parents and my neice, this has been exceptionally difficult in some cases especially as my sister can be very hostile towards our parents one minute and then a perfect daughter the next.

It is a long, intrusive process but worth every single second. I have stood alongside my Mum from the begining and there have been tears, frustration, anger, desperation and over whelming sadness at a situatiuon that we would have never, ever imagined would happen to us.

If you have any questions then please feel free to ask, I'm sure if I can't help someone will be along very soon who can.

NanaNina · 28/07/2012 23:55

Yes I was very confused at the MrBojangles as I had been reading his/her posts before and couldn't work out what was happening. How peculiar that there should be 2 MrBojangles. I would have thought MNHQ would know if there were 2 MNs with same nickname, but apparently not. However I take it the OP is now MrPip, though unsure of gender. However that is not really important.

I am a little confused at your post - have the LA just done a viability report on you, or an assessment for temporary foster care. Under the terms of the Children Act children are only meant to be placed with relatives for 6 weeks before being assessed and approved (hopefully) by a Fostering Panel, although many placements go on far longer than 6 weeks, sometimes running into months and even years.

I think you are mainly asking about contact and how it can be managed. I can't give you any first hand advice as I am not a foster carer but a retired soc wrkr and tm mgr of a Fostering & Adoption Team (with 30 years experience in all) You say that your sister has frequent contact with the baby as do the older sibs - is that right? If so what sort of frequency is this and how is it managed, and are there any problems at the moment? In an SGO report the issue of contact has to be addressed and the assessor will talk to the birth parents about their wishes for contact, in terms of frequency (though the decision about this is madein the best interests of the child) not the birthparents. An assessor should be clear about what ongoing contact is meant to achieve, and usually this is so that the child grows up knowing the identity of her birthparents, rather than finding out at some later stage. Your own views on contact should also be taken into account of course.

The assessor also has to interview any member of the extended family who wishes to have contact with the child to assess whether this is in the best interests of the child. Are your sister and the child's father still in a partnership or not. Do you know this man? Would you feel happy to have him in your home. I think the issue of extended family having contact is something that the assessor would need to consider carefully, as given that this child is going to live with you on a permanent basis, and will not be allowed to have any kind of unsupervised contact with either parent or member of the extended family, it does beg the question what is the point of so many members of the extended family supposedly wanting contact, though of course this may not materialise.

As far as frquency is concerned it is usually recommended to the judge that this be on a quarterly basis or x 6 per year. The thing is once a SGO is made you will be a "closed case" to the LA social workers and will not therefore be able to get any help/support from them. I think this can be very difficult because whatever problems arise, you have to deal with them yourselves. It is possible for the assessing sw to request that a 1 year Supervision Order is made alongside the SGO just to ensure that all is running smoothly.

I don't understand when you say the social workers can't advise you???

I may be on the wrong track but I think this is what you are asking about. It wouldn't really be possible to talk to others with an SGO and contact as the circumstances are confidential to each case, and of course every case is different and what might be happening with family X may be very different from what is happening in your case.

Mrpip · 30/07/2012 17:18

Thankyou jacqueline for sharing your parents experience. I suspect we will go through similar emotions in the coming years.
Nana nina thankyou for your information and advice. You are right contact is my main concern. I'm aware that under a sgo my support will be more limited and that concerns me for the future when my neices father is released. To answer your question I have met him while supervising my sister on a prison visit after my niece was born. I can't comment on what type of person he is. He says all the right things but how things will pan out I'm unsure.
I have expressed my concerns again to our social worker and she is getting back to me with regards to a possible support package attached to our sgo around contact.
She is not familiar with all the details of sgo ( cp social worker)
I've also asked my fostering social worker and hopefully someone from their permanence team with contact me.
I apologise if I am a little vague, I'm aware this is a open forum and don't want to say too much.
Incidently I was mrbojangles and the other poster is the same with a number 1 at the end so not strictly the same but close enough for confusion.
Thanks again

NanaNina · 30/07/2012 19:30

You say that you are aware that under the SGO your support will be more limited. Unless a 1yr Supervision Order is attached, your support will be non existent as the child is no longer in the care of the LA and parental responsibility is transferred to you.

Can I ask what your relationship is like with your sister as this is very important when considering contact - is she still in a r/ship with the partner in prison and do you know whether his crime is for violence of any sort. Is he the father of the child. Do you know when his release date is - this is important because if it is within 1 year of the SGO being granted (if that happens) then it is imperative that you have a 1 yr SO attached to the SGO. Even with this you will only get minimum support, as the LA don't have PR under the terms of a Supervision Order.

A support package sounds a little optimisitic to me. I think it's a good idea for the assessor and the child's sw and the applicants to have a meeting together to iron out any issues, especially regarding contact (including where it is to take place and the form it will take, as well as the frequency), prior to the application being made in court.

I hate to sound pessimistic but the vast majority of relatives with an SGO have to sort out any issues themselves, as the case will be closed in social services, and unless you have a SO you will not get any support.

Mrpip · 04/08/2012 20:30

Thankyou nananina you've given me much food for thought. I've since spoken to my social worker and our contact arrangements around the sgo are being discussed. Many thanks for highlighting the legal areas I was unsure about.

lijaco · 11/08/2012 22:40

Hi Mrpip, I am a grandparent and my grandson has contact regular with my son. You can ask me any questions :)

lijaco · 11/08/2012 22:45

I just wanted to add that I have four children also..so there are similarities.

AlanaGenge · 16/08/2012 12:57

Hi there,

I am currently interning at a Charity which help kinship carers. They give free help and advice to kinship carers.

They also have a network of kinship carers, as well as free events which take place across the country. The website is www.grandparentsplus.org.uk and the advice line is 03001237015

Hope that?s helpful
Alana

lijaco · 19/08/2012 17:17

Thanks for that Alanagenge

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