Contact Problems

[marybobbins]

How do you cope with contact over the school holidays if you also have children of your own?

Are current placement has just had contact increased to 5 days a week and I just can't see how we can make this work with the school holidays coming up. The times contact has been arranged mean that we can't go out before and not really enough time to go out when they come back. So our own children would be house bound for the whole of the summer holidays.

Any advice?

Do you have consent to take LO on holiday? Maybe you could request a week for this and use it for days out with the family or to go away somewhere. Maybe the contact hours be changed to earlier in the day so you could go out after though I realise how tricky it can be to accommodate this in contact centres. Perhaps they would be able to arrange a couple of days a week with longer contact sessions and a couple of days free for you all to do as you please. I am sure you have already thought of these options though.
I would find it very difficult to spend 6 weeks at home with little opportunity to go anywhere so hope you find a solution.

This is somthing you need to raise next time you have a placemnet when i get asked to have a placement i make it evry clea i have a school aged child and that i will rewuire three ful days a week to do activites
I they dont like it the can get somone else needless to say they kept the conatct at gour days a week but paid another foster carer to do the conatct so i could take my child out

Thanks for your reply Tulips.
They were offered longer contact on fewer days but turned it down and the court has ruled they can have the 5 days with less time which is what they wanted and the children on different days not together.
I really struggle with the courts decisions, I can't see how this benifits the children when they will only be going to contact together 2 out of the 5, the other 3 they are taking it in turns. How do you explain to young children, sorry its not your turn today but your sibling can go? The end plan is for them to return home so I really don't get it.
I just don't think we are going to be able to make this work. The eldest has been with us for almost a year now and to have to end the placement because of this will be heartbreaking but we aren't given any consideration and we have to think of our own children too.
We have a holiday booked nearer the end of the year that we have permission to take all the kids on but they won't let us have any more holiday.

Hi, Mrbojangles,

We said at the very begining that we couldn't accomodate 5day a week contact and it hasn't been a problem for the last year its only now they are changing it. It went to court, the SW didn't think that it would be good for the children to do it this way but the court has ruled otherwise and everyone is avoiding our phone calls.

Speak to you SW. Tell them in no uncertain turns you can not accommodate the new contact arrangements in the school holidays. They should offer you some support days. I hate the cold court when are they going to put the child first.

I'd speak to your SSW... you need help.. simple... your children cannot suffer - they will need to arrange transportation - either a family support worker, or another foster carer to do the transporting to and from contact... of course they'll fight against it.. it'll cost them money...

or have you asked for an earlier contact time - say first thing in the morning, so it will at least give you the rest of the day....

I always find offering a solution, rather than going in with a problem helps.. i.e. give them a choice of two, and then they have to pick one!! ..

Not only should the sw have told the judge this wont be good for the children she should of also told the court the foster carers simply cant accomadate this and if pushed could end up in placement break down.

Have you tried talking to the childrens guardian
I am very schoked your support worker was not fighting for you on this issue after all that is what her job is

and know doubut when the placement breaks down they will try and make you feel bad

Look mary you have done all you can but like me you have bio children whose needs also needs to be meet tell them you cant do it and they will have to find somone else ( and wish them luck finding somone )

Conatct is one of the biggest issues they make arrangemnts with out even consulting us like we ar nothing and dont matter i once saw a thread were a carer was told to host conact at HER home on CHRISTMAS DAY

Last thing they'll want to do is risk a breakdown of the placement with you.

Be firm and say that you cannot accommodate those arrangements - tell them what you are willing to do and let them sort it out to suit you. Whose side is your link worker on - he/she should be fighting your corner for you.