Would our own children going to independent schools stop us from fostering?

[mysteryfairy]

This might sound a silly question. We have 3 dcs aged 16, 15 and 10 who all go to independent schools.

I've been thinking a lot about giving up my career to foster children. I think we have a lot to offer foster children. PIL used to foster so some awareness of the challenges etc.

I wonder if where my children go to school would be a deal breaker though? I'm not sure how decisions about where long term FC go to school is made. I would hate any child to be made to feel they were less worthy because they didn't go to the same schools as my DC but I presume that it would be very unlikely that they could go.

My DCs up to the age of 7 attended two different primary schools locally both of which were rated outstanding by ofsted do it's not that I'm looking to bring children to an area with appalling local schools. I think foster children would normally be younger than DC3 so might well be of the age where we were have chosen local school for our own children anyway.

Plus would this lifestyle choice just makes us pariahs to social workers as it does to many mumsnetters etc?

Sorry this is a bit of a jumble of thoughts - I've been dwelling on it a lot and would welcome any advice.

i shouldn't think so, to be honest i don't think the sw are that bothered were your children go to school

if it were ultra religious or a bit new age their might be a issue but you children seem to be going to your run of the mill private school

as long as they dont board then i cant see a issue

children need carers form all walks of life, and to be honest the foster children very rarely ended up in the same schools as your own children any way

its really based on need rather than how a lay person would choose a school for their children eg nearest ect sometimes they often already are at a school

children only know the diffrence betwen private and state because we make them aware, the potentional foster child will only know that your children go to a high school that is private if you make them aware of it

my sister children go to private school, when any one asks her what school her children go toher her reply is
"oh they go to a rivate school then the name of the school "
if she just gave the name of the school most people would be non the wiser its a private school tobe fair i myself only know its private because she made a thing of telling me even their uniforms would not of really given it away

They are run of the mill selective independent schools that my DC attend. We never say private school only independent if the subject comes up (eg explaining long holidays) as private is a very emotive description IMHO.

There are things that make the schools obviously different to our local schools e.g. all three children catch bus v early and travel 20 miles, single sex schools, over elaborate uniform etc. My worries are firstly that we might make potential foster children feel that we are judging them less worthy in the education stakes than our own children and secondly that social services would not be interested in using us either for this reason or because they judge us as not being inclusive enough in our values.

I know of someone who fostered and got around this issue by paying for the foster children to also attend the private school.

I do understand but often academies and church school often too have very over the top uniforms

My son has to we're a cap he attends a state school a very fancy blazer which is striped

Honestly even if your children Went to a state school it's highly unlikey they would go to the same school as your children and foster children often have very diffrent needs

Like I said many would already be attending a school when they come an unless their is a very good reason short term carers are not usually allowed to change the children's schools

I really think your thinking to much about this issue depending on the age I very much doubut a five years olds has the capacity to think their less worthy in the education stakes

And like I siad unless in a constant source or conversation with your wider circle about who gose to what school then I can't really see the issue

It's often the case that foster carers who foster more than one child of have a sibling group have children attending diffrent schools
One and one primary another at a special needs primary one at high school another at a referral unit and their own children also at high school but a completely diffrent one

YOU WILL be fine
If I am honest op I think this may be more your anxiety about it than anything
I just wouldn't worry to much about it if ss are worried trust me they will pick the point up with you.

The only thing they are worried about school wise is that your own children are happy are doing well and you as a parents are a involved one

Btw op what age group are you looking to foster?

My nephews attend local state schools and their foster carer's DS is at a private school. There is a five year age gap between him and eldest DN.

I have a friend who is a foster carer. She moved her three dc to two independent schools after she started fostering.
I can't see how it would cause problems for you.

Hi

Our local La were against our DD going to independent and the Fc going to State schools, But our Agency has advised it i not a problem. In realality, it does not present too much of a problem. Every child is different.

Hello, both my sons go to independent school and it is not a problem at all. In fact LA send good thing for FC to go to different school keep some stability by staying at the same school they were at when at home with birth mum/carer.

I know of three foster carers who's children go to private school so I don't think it's a problem at all.
Aslong as they are all treated equally in the home.

Thanks for all the responses - very reassuring.

I am thinking about fostering children younger than mine - my youngest DC turned 10 earlier this week. My job is a stressful nightmare but I can't imagine doing nothing and have been thinking a lot about the fostering my PIL did and what a difference it made to some children's lives. Sadly FIL died tragically early a few years ago and MIL has not been able to carry on alone.

My children all went to local schools until 7+ so I honestly don't think there is a problem with the local schools and I would never look to send a smaller child, particularly one who had had a difficult start in life, on a 1 hour plus bus journey every day as it's just too stressful and tiring, plus if anything does go wrong at school it takes a while to get to them.

I would love to think we could send any foster children where my children go but I doubt we could afford it plus there would of course be no guarantees about how long children would be with us and lots of complications over notice etc.

My 2 go to a private school and I dont think any of our foster children have ever noticed. I know ss think it is good if the children go to different schools anyway so birth children do get some space if fc are demanding etc. another family in our village does this too.

I know some foster carers who have it the other way round the children go to private school paid for by the LEA and their children go to state school

This is a hang up adults have and not children trust me