Fostering where main carer is male

[halterskalter]

My husband is an experienced primary teacher and interested in leaving teaching to foster. I am keen to foster as well but work full time (I leave the house 7.30am returning 6.30pm, though work very close by if needed in an emergency). Could this work? We have no children of our own and are already approved link carers for a child with disabilities but only on an as and when basis (generally once a month for a day at the weekend).

Sorry I didn't make my post very clear - my concern is with the primary carer being male and also with me working fairly long hours.

No that would be fine. As long as someone is available for meetings etc.

I used to know a v popular ( with SW & childrwn) FC who was a single bloke. Kids had left home, wife had died & he worked v hard for the children in His care

Can't see any problem with it at all. That he is male should not be an issue.

Halt sorry to say I would warn against this
Really I would espically if you intend to look after
Children under 7 were they are still likey to need help with personal care, changing ECt

Any allergations could effectilvy see your oh never work in a school again being a family link carer is by consent fostering is not the parents make all sorts up and often put their children up to it as well
If a allergation is made and ofsted are made aware

If possible I would make yourself the main carer their are so many situations were your oh would simply have to wait until you got home to deal with it

Family link is soooo diffrent to fostering and the risk to your self in regards to allergations is very diffrent

Of your oh wasn't a teacher I would say go ahead it could take one malious allergation to end his teaching
Like i siad I have been my self a family link carer and I was very naive to allergations even the course didn't prepare me for the things parents come out with as a family link carer I was not used to parents being so hostile

I guess if sw were ok with it but it would mean that the type of placements would be limited

For all sorts of reasons
Namely parents not liking it

But if oh never plans to go back to teaching then you might be ok I don't want to scare you but want you to know the pit falls

On courses I have met 2 couples where the male is the main carer and worked really well. Good luck x

Hello

When we were going through our assessment dp was down as the main carer which our sw was more than happy with (our age range is 0-2).
It was only when I realised that I could take a career break from my work that I was changed to main carer.

Dp recently went on a course and there were a few main carers who were male too.

Good luck!

Hello halter,
Well done to your husband for considering fostering. It could definitely work!
You hear a lot about allegations, but that can affect both male and female carers.
It may be that if he was the primary carer you might have to extra vigilant regarding recording any incidents, comments etc (sad, but true) but I see no reason why he couldn't be the primary carer.
It would also be OK for you to be out full-time. Does your husband have his own transport? That would make contact etc much easier.

Good luck - let us know how you get on. I love hearing about more people considering fostering, and your husband's experience as a teacher would be really useful.

:)

Exactly what Bottersnike says..........I am so fed up having the gender argument. Sadly society perceives males as more of a risk, but the reality is both men and women abuse( physically, emotionally and sexually) and ALL people in a fostering family and their friends and family are at risk of having allegations made against them fegardless of their gender.

What is important is that everyone is clear about appropriate touch/behaviour, safe care, that recording is comprehensive and if you are in any doubt about something that you seek advice!

Thanks for all the advice - the point about being extra careful about possible allegations is of course valid but in his many years of teaching he's had to be aware of this e.g. on trips with pupils who needed personal care etc. Obviously it's far more intense as an issue with fostering but hopefully the social services people will support with training, and his experience will help. It sounds like we will be looking into it quite seriously, though DH is still considering whether he is ready to leave teaching. Sounds to me like he is but you never know when it comes to the crunch of applying for foster caring he may feel it's too big a step. I'll post again if we apply formally.Thank you again, it's hugely helpful to have a place to ask silly questions!

I see no problem with it as all - in fact lots of the FC I know would benefit hugely from having a positive male role model.

There are several households in my LA where the main carer is male, including a couple where the carer is a single male. I don't think there were any more difficulties for them being approved than there were for anyone else.

hello just read this on google i am male and a main foster carer i have fostered boys and girls i know about the abuse allegations that can arise but with the safeguarding policys that you put in place this will ruduce the risk.
it does make me angry that a positive male role model is seen as such a bad thing on many women website