Fostering with three birth children, one with asd, would we even be considered?

[runikka]

We are parents of three, full time working parents. We have a severely autistic child and have been waiting for a special needs cared to give once a month respite. However, since having children myself I have considered the idea of fostering but felt my sons needs would prevent us from being able to do so. My son's autism is complex and the monthly respite is to ensure we get a good nights rest but we are still with our other two children. Our son has bad spells where it would be impossible to foster but at other times, I think we could manage short term fostering. If I was to give up work to do this, I feel it would be both rewarding and mean that I can be with my own children a lot more. I do appreciate that it is hard work but feel we have a lot to offer...

Hi Runikka
I can only tell you of my own experience. We have four of our children - one with autism and one with ADHD and Tourettes. When we were being assessed it was thought of as a positive because of the experience we have had over the years. It was also classed as a positive when we went to panel.
Now we are fostering a LO and as yet there have been no problems with our children.

The SW were right in that our own experiences have given us far more knowledge and experience to deal with any difficulties that do come along with a LO....we take everything in our stride. Also our own children are used to the fact that sometimes our time and attention needs to be focussed on one child for a bit. Also our children with no 'difficulties' have far more compassion and patience than most other children of their age - and that has helped enormously with any foster children.

Obviously I do not know your exact situation but in our case it was not only possible it was also an advantage.

I wish you luck whatever you decide to do!

The only bit that might be a worry is that you require respite, you have it to get some sleep which your unlikely to get with a foster child my fc woke every night for the first year she was do disturbed I usually sleep when the kids were at school

But no harm in asking

I thought I was the only one Maypole. I also sleep when everyone is at school!!

We are used to being up at night with our son and have a lot of experience of challenging behaviour. The reason for respite is that we currently work full time so there is no opportunity to sleep in the day and our youngest, being two, has been home every day but is due to start playgroup. Our sleep patterns are all over the place as our son rarely sleeps through and the summer months he is up pretty much all night. At the same time, he doesn't seem to disturb our other two children. Fostering would mean a complete change in lifestyle to allow me to be home or at most, working part time, so if I needed to sleep in the day, after a bad night, then so be it.

I have a 16 month old FC who doesn't sleep through the night yet, and a 2 year old who doesn't sleep in the day. I've learnt to survive on 3 x 2hour sleeps per night! (And that's on a good night!)

Maypole and Cornishsue - me 3!!! I'm another day time sleeper :D

Runikka, I would advise you to apply. From what I have read and learned there are no hard and fast rules about who SS will accept, and I think a huge part of it comes down to what you as a person, and your family can deal with as a family unit

Good luck with it :)