Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Fostering

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

Original poster

How on earth do you say goodbye?

39 replies

BusterTheDonk · 13/12/2011 20:42

Heard today our beautiful little people are moving to their forever home soon after Christmas. They have been our life for the past 16 months.

They are our first and have completely captured our hearts. They are 2 & 3 and we have covered so much ground with them - we adore them.

The professional part of me is really strong and knows it was always part of the plan and I must do this that and the other.. and then I crumble once they are in bed and struggle to think of life without them.

People say your first are the hardest.... how can my heart be so full of pride (proud of them) and breaking at the same time?

Please hold my hand... Sad Sad Sad Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
BusterTheDonk · 23/12/2011 11:48

Hi everyone... going on a special trip today to make some more memories.. going on a steam train and meeting santa.. (wipes eyes)

Threeandcounting.. kids are going back to a parent - we heard about 2 weeks ago and its only Christmas (i.e. social workers not around) that is giving us a teeny tiny pontipine bit of time with them. i.e. NOT MUCH

Court order was granted 5 months ago (voluntary care before then) - so all of this "at least 9 months" business misled us slightly..

Personally, I think they'll be gone within a few days into the New Year.. they've done a couple of full days already, just no overnight stays...

It is breaking our hearts.. I cannot put it into any words other than those.. I know we've done a fab job, they are amazing little people.. and I guess (hope) its normal that we have some concerns about their new life.. I truly hope we are strong enough on the day...

x x

OP posts:
chocaholic2011 · 23/12/2011 17:45

Thanks so much moomooie, great advice!! And I will read through it again to remind me when the time comes!!! Hopefully for all their sakes it won't be too long before lo gets her new family!!! They will be very lucky!!! X

scarlet5tyger · 23/12/2011 19:12

Threeandcounting - I find it differs with every child how long it takes from getting the final court order to them actually going to adoption. Some children who you imagine would be adopted no problem (ie babies) take months, whereas others who you think might take a while go in no time.

There seem to be lots and lots of children being adopted from my LA at the moment - I'm not sure if things have been hurried through because of the recent bad press, or whether its just timing.

Original poster
BusterTheDonk · 23/12/2011 21:01

ours haven't even gone to final hearing... yet they are going (returned to a parent - not the parent they came into care with) ... they will still be under a 'protection' order - think court has put pressure on SS as they left the kids in 'voluntary care' for so long... Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
BusterTheDonk · 03/01/2012 21:22

Friday 10am.. goodbye time..

"It?s weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to just hold on, just for one more second just so it can hurt a little more"

And boy, does it hurt! Sad Sad Sad Sad

OP posts:
rooksby · 03/01/2012 22:21

I lurk on here a lot as have always wanted to foster one day, but the more I understand about the reality of it, the less I think I could actually do it (for various reasons but I must admit the goodbyes are part of it).

My heart goes out to you, I hope you'll have a lovely new placement to fill your life up again soon and hope these little ones have a wonderful life. Urgh, I'm bloody crying and it's nowt to do with me! xx

bonnieslilsister · 03/01/2012 22:44

Poor you buster, sending you lots of love and hugs and hope it is not too hard for you xxxxxx
(turn it round in your mind so you are not thinking of your loss but what they have gained by being with you and now they no longer need you you can make space for the next little ones Smile xxx

startail · 03/01/2012 22:45

I couldn't begin to have the strength needed to be a foster parent and have enormous admiration for those who do.
7 years on DD1 still remembers her friend who was in foster care. Last she heard was a letter to the class saying she'd gone to live with a permanent adoptive family.

scarlet5tyger · 04/01/2012 19:38

Buster, I do know what you're going through and how much it hurts. I'll be thinking of you on Friday xxx

threeandcounting · 05/01/2012 20:45

Will be thinking about you tomorrow morning...

Hope it all goes as smoothly as possible for you x

Original poster
BusterTheDonk · 05/01/2012 23:47

thanks..

as you can see its now almost midnight & I can't sleep... had an unpleasant run in with the SW that has left a very bitter taste today... grrrrr

We had a lovely day with them today.. just can't even begin to try and picture how tomorrow morning will go... Sad

OP posts:
bottersnike · 06/01/2012 10:58

Thinking of you this morning, Buster, and hope it's gone as well as it can. x

bonnieslilsister · 06/01/2012 15:51

How are you honey? Hope you are ok xx

Original poster
BusterTheDonk · 06/01/2012 16:22

'tis done..... down but not out... will bounce back in a few days...

House seems so quiet...

Thanks for all your support.... x x x x x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page