Advice for newbies

[happydaze22]

Hi All,
Having done this "job" for almost a year now, and gone through various stages including the " I hate this job and its not for me" stage , I now look forward to waking up every day and doing something I absoloutely love doing.
I've been thinking of the advice I was given when I was at a low, and it was to go to support groups held in the homes of other (usually very experienced )FC's. At first I thought where would I find the time or even worse."whats the point? " but I did go along to one and its was the best thing I could have done. You realise we all have our ups and downs , you gain valuable info about your rights as a FC , you can rant & rave to your hearts content, you can learn to see the funny side of most things to do with fostering (like some of the contact dramas) and you make some great friends in the process. I just wondered what advice you FC's out there would give to Newbies to help them in the process of going from sane normal peeps to FC's.

• Let yourself fall in love with them - don't fight it
• Don't be hard on yourself even when you have a bad day - we're not 'super human'
• Ensure you have a brilliant relationship with your SSW
• Join mumsnet fostering forum
• Be under no illusion that is emotional and at times hard and demanding

You can't save the world

A lesson I am slowly learning

If you feel stressed, talk about it, don't bottle it up!.

This is a great place to do it,

Sometimes just reading other posts can make you less stressed, and give you the answer.

and all else fails

or

What NanaNina referred to on another thread....the birth mother has usually been through horrible experiences in their childhood and have not been parented adequately themselves.

Agree with all of the above but would just add to Buster's comment about Letting Yourself Fall in Love with the child - don't stress too much if you don't!! I spent the first few months of my current placement feeling terrible that I didn't have much of a bond with baby. It took a more experienced carer to point out that he was an extremely difficult baby and came hot on the heels of me moving on another child I was very attached to to a place I didn't feel was right for her. We have a good bond now and I'm more prepared for it taking a while next time.