Just Registered Interest As Foster Carers

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

So, DP and I have just taken the plunge and registered our interest with the local council. I've wanted to foster for such a long time - ever since I met two girls in care whilst I was running a brownie pack. Their story was heartbraking and, 11 years on, I still think about it.

I think the only thing that might be a stumbling block is that we're getting married soon and SS may well look at us and think "Hmm... you'll be having babies of your own soon". Which might happen, might not. And actually, it wouldn't necessarily mean we'd stop fostering. We don't have our own children, but both come from large families with lots of neices, nephews and younger siblings, so we aren't total novices!

We're fortunate enough to have lots of family very close by. So we'll no doubt spend the next few months on tenterhooks, waiting and crossing our fingers!
I've read a lot about how it will probably take months to happen (if we're even approved), but I was just speaking to a neighbour who has just been approved - she said it all happened rather quickly. I understand there's a huge shortage of carers around here. Which means we need to stop lazing around and finish redecorating!

Anybody got any advice? Good books to read? Or people going through the process to hold hands!

Cupcakes

My first thought is I love your enthusiasm and eagerness to foster. I wish you well and hope it works for you.

(My second thought is if you have your own baby, despite how many other children you have come into contact with, be prepared for being bowled over with love for them (and tiredness!!) to the extent you might not want to foster for a while....also a foster child might be incredibly jealous of sharing you with an adorable baby! But then maybe you wont want your own children for a while....)

Good luck, anyway

Thanks Bonnies - that's really encouraging! Hopefully the LA will contact us soon. I've done some more digging on their website and they're really pushing foster care at the moment - there's a huge shortage of carers - so hopefully we won't have to wait too long for information evenings etc.
OH is already planning a trip to IKEA to look at children's furniture. Bless him!

hi,
i'm a little bit ahead of you, have been on skills to foster and just been assigned my SW - he's coming for first visit to fill in forms etc on Thur.

I read Cathy Glass books, found them really interesting. I also lurked on all the fostering forums, here, foster talk, fostercare world etc. On the Skills to Foster course it was really interesting to listen to the FC talk about her experiences, I'm really raring to go. One person on the course only registered her interest in Aug and plan for her is to go to panel in Jan, so it can be quite quick.

ref Furniture - i was told not to funish rooms until spoke to SW - because they will provide it all (so will wait and see on that one)

I think its important to be realisitic about what ages/gender/background children you would take on e.g. just been on a caring for teenagers course (I'm hoping to foster teenagers) and one lady there is fostering a 15 y/o boy who is on a charge of arson. I think it would be different what you'd accept if you had children in your house, to if you didn't - (I am single, no kids) i imagine if i had my own children i would want to protect them first?

Anyway - good luck with the process, be open to some soul searching and be honest. I'm sure you'll be great.

Congrats cupcake for making the first step.

Ours was a journey that took much soul searching and lasted about 10 months from first step to approval. I guess each LA is different in timescales and we were lucky in that we got on the next available Skills to Foster course.

The only thing I can advise is to think about what experience/skills you have, or what you can gain whilst you are waiting... for example, I went to work in a school voluntarily with kids with ADHD etc.. and began a child psychology diploma via distance learning. Have a look at the BAAF website - they have some really good books too - one about attachment & reslience is a really good one to read.

Oh and also to try and remember to enjoy the journey and not just to focus on the destination... it is thorough, it is in-depth and people dropped away even during the Skills to Foster course....

We got our first (and current) placement 9 days after being approved and we found it very frightening, we felt unprepared, we felt alone and still 13mths into it have OMG moments when we realised the reality & importance of what we are doing....

so my final advice is to let it take its course in its own good time (which it will anyway) and don't at this stage go out buying furniture etc... you've many hurdles to jump over yet... but the very best of luck to you both

Thanks for the advice everybody. We won't be buying anything at all at this stage, aside from the odd book perhaps.
queststarz - I've been lurking on a number of forums! I'll have a look at the books you mention - many thanks.
Buster - I'll check out some courses, I did a fair bit when I worked as a volunteer for a charity working with children with Downs Syndrome ao I shall have to dig out my old notes!
We're done quite a bit of research, and we've listed school age at the moment. Also think we'd prefer to do more long term fostering than the emergency / respite care.
So much to think about! Thanks for the support everybody.