Help with housing

[gretna05]

Hi can anyone help with speculative question. We got our initial assessment next Thursday to foster. Live in 3 bed owned house with DD (5) and DS (1). LA already said they happy for our LO to share for while so we could use 3rd bed to foster initially babies. I'm just wondering how long could my 2 share for? Is it til my DD is 10 or 8? Also assuming all well with fostering by that time would LA consider helping us with cost of extending house to give us extra room? Has anyone had financial assistance with this recently?

I think all LA's are different. I wonder would you prefer having a baby in a room on its own or would you consider one in your room. Most LA's, I believe, would be happy to place a young baby to share your room as this is where guidelines say an under 6 month should stay anyway but that is very limiting age wise for you. My LA dont mind a child under 2 sharing with the carer/s.

Aw thanks yes. I assumed under 6 months would be in our room as our LO's were. I suppose if I stuck to fostering under 2's then in theory my LO's wouldn't need to share as they got older. Def a long term solution that doesn't involve me redesigning my house. My LA seem quite keen for me to consider fostering older children which I would do in time. Am presuming this is because older children are more challenging.

They can be more challenging I suppose cos of all the stuff they have been through and your kids are so young it might not be ideal for them but that is for you to decide. At least you might feel like starting with a young child and see how you like it. The only down side of fostering babies/toddlers is the frequent trips to contact with parents where you and presumably your ds will maybe have to hang around for a couple of hours.

In my la foster children under 2 have to sleep in the foster carers room in a cot.

If you have two boys they should be able to share for years yet

To be honest I do know cares who have done their whole fostering life just fostering babies so the room thing has never been a issue

thanks maypole. i have a girl and a boy. is hard at this stage cos feel like am trying to give them the answers they want to hear. trying to keep realistic and open minded

Hi Gretna - The Fostering Regs do state that a Looked Aftered child should have his/her own room. It isn't for the social worker to decide how long your own children can share a bedroom - this is for you as parents to decide. The other thing is that you shouldn't be trying to give the social workers the answers they want to hear (was LA sw and Tm mgr of Fostering & Adopt Tm) for 25 years and then worked independently assessing prospective foster carers and adoptors) - foster carers are like gold dust and demand for placements far outstrips supply - this is a national situation and is a real concern for all LAs, especially as they are competing with the Independent Fostering Agencies, who pay more to their carers but charge huge amounts to the LAs, and directors of these IFAs become very rich as a result.

You need to think carefully about your "offer" i.e. what age range you can cope with, given the ages of your own children. It is good practice for there to be a 2 year age gap between the fostered child and any birth children. This would mean that you would be thinking of a 3 year old, but then that child would have to compete with your younger child for your attention. Fostered children need to be the youngest in the family if at all possible.

I think you need to talk over these issues with your sw. I suspect that a lot of these good practice ideas are being over-ridden, given the desparate need for placements. The LA want you to foster older children at some point, as there is a great need for middle years aged children (say 7 - 12) and yes some are challenging but no more so than a young child. It all depends on their pre placement experiences with their birth parents and how emotionaly damaged they are as a result.

Remember this is a 2 way street - it isn't a question of wanting to give the sw what she wants to hear; you need an honest and open discussion about the age of child that will fit with your family, not only in terms of sleeping but also in terms of being awake!!

Me again - I think it best you forget any notion of the LA financing extensions etc. This has always been a "hot potatoe" with a very limited amount in this budget and no real way of being equitable to all carers who needed more room for fostered children. To be honest this was the case when I retired from LA work in 2004 and I know that things are far worse in SSD LAs now since all the cuts that have come into force thanks to this coalition government. You can ask but I am 99% certain what the answer will be.

Thanks nananina. Couldn't really consider older child yet. Would never want my DD to feel at risk in her own home. Babies are a different matter entirely. Am just thinking way into future. Will have a chat with SW on Thursday. My and hubby both work in social care. We just want to make a difference at other end of scale. We both in jobs that involve picking up pieces. Happy for my kids to share for a time, but obviously as DD starts hitting puberty I think it's important for her to have her privacy. It's something we've talked about for years but have waited til we've had our own kids first. Just a shame we had one of each and not two girls (joke!).
Thank you for your input though it's much appreciated. I kind of almost don't see the point of going into it though unless I'm going to be able to do it for years....does that sound silly?
We have potential in our property to extend, maybe if finances improve for my hubby (lol!) in the future or we move to a bigger home?
We'll see, thank you though, your input is most appreciated.

Hi Gretna, just wanted to add back up to Nananina's comment about LA financing - I'd rule that out straight away! I haven't even been able to get money from mine for a car seat, despite having taken a child outside my approval as they were so desperate.

Can anyone clarify the age limit for children in a carer's room for me? As stated here already by other posters, I thought it was up to 2 years of age. However, this week I was told it's up to 1 year then into their own room they go. A problem for me as I now have 2 children over one but only 1 spare bedroom (the child who is now 1 should have moved 6 months ago so the problem wasn't foreseen)

I think they make up their own rules scarlet. Is it not an option to put them together? Our LA prefers not but will accept that sometimes it has to happen. I think it is crazy they all have to have a room of their own. So long as the children are not a threat to each other I would think they would benefit from company in the bedroom.

scarlet5tyger in my la its 2 but to be honest if theirs no were to move the child then what can you do .

My fc stayed in carers room till almost 3 as she only had a 2 bed house

But to be honest I have to agree they make the rules up to suit them

Hi, I dont know if this is the right place to write this as this website seems to be for mums mainly, anyway here its goes, Im a single dad who works full time and has two boys one who i see alot and the other every two weeks, I love cooking, computers and gardening as do my well behaved boys.
Im writing this on here as Im finding it hard to find a house share that allows me to have my two boys to stay with me every two weeks, I am a fully commited dad and want to put them first all the time but im finding it hard due to the cost of renting a propety and showing them a good time.
If any one can help me please contact me!