Slightly confused !! (doesnt take much lol)

[new2allthis]

Just had phone call from SSW who said there is a possible placement for us who has just turned 12.

We are new short term foster carers and SSW has said that the child will be in care until at least the age of 16+ and wouldnt want them turned away just because they had reached 16 (ie probably till 18). She also said that they have very challenging behaviour (long list of worrying things) and have previously injured other carers and themselves.

I tried to explain that the time scale of 4+ years was too long for us and I didnt feel we have enough experience but she said that the FC is within our age range (6-16) Im not sure that that is really relevant ?????. Surely this isnt the placement to give to new short term foster carers ??

Hi Newtoallthis.

Do you have any children living at home? Are you fostering for LA or Agency?

I wouldn't ytake on a long term for first placement

Don't give in to pressure. They have no right to force you; if it doesn't work out you will feel awful and the child will be more upset than he/she is now. I wish you lots of luck and let us know what happens xx

Hi FNC-we dont have any children at home and we are with a LA.
Thanks Mumsiepie-i'll keep you updated

Oh drat! I was hoping you were going to say you have young children - which would have given you the best excuse for not taking this placement.

The other posters are right SS have no right to force you into accepting this placement but I have learnt that by not "working with" SS placement team it can go against you, as foster carers.

Saying that I would not have wanted the placement you describe as a first placement and you are within your rights to refuse any placement, if you feel the placement is not a good match. Be prepared for some backlash from your fostering team though. Let us know how it goes.

Hi new2allofthis... I'm sure I remember a previous post from you some while ago about your 'first placement'... and weren't sure and having doubts about your choice into fostering... am I right...?

Please don't be offended, but can I ask you to be 100% sure you DO want to foster.. no, 4+ years isn't short term, but no-one can ever say for sure how long a placement will last, and to be prepared for 1 day to many years, and so maybe you'd be better doing emergency or respite..? No offence meant...

Is it the 4years, or rather the childs worrying behaviour - which by I way I completely understand.... I think if you are going to decline the placement, it'd be better to be completely upfront with your SSW to prevent being put in this position again - there is nothing wrong in saying I don't think we could manage a child with those problems YET....

My first placements (2 & 3) are an absolute dream and I am under NO illusion that I am very lucky and that they are the exception rather than the norm, and at your age range (6-16) you certainly are going to have to deal with children with behavioural problems..

Good luck however you decide to proceed...

Just because a child is in your age range doesn't mean it would be a suitable placement. You can reject the placement, just as you could agree to have a child who is then placed elsewhere. If it wouldn't work out the it would not be fair on you or the child.

You need to speak to your Social Worker, and be honest with them, and specific about why you don't want the placement. They don't want you to have a placement that breaks down, or for you to leave fostering. The child's SW wants a successful placement, but may be struggling to find any placement.

Good luck, I hope you get a placement soon that works well for you and for the child you welcome into your family.

p99gmb

it dose say they are new if this is their first placement it dose seem a bit much to ask them for what is basically a long term placement but if they have as you said been fostering for a while you may be right or they might want to have a think about the age range

as like you said mine came for 2 months 3 years later here we are still with he

if you only want to have children for say a year at a time them you need to say to your sw now that your not instested in ANY placemnts that will last longer than x amount of time its better to be upfront about these things

2nd March thread entitled Help !!

I thought I recognised your ID...

maybe everyone has taken the 'new' literally, and of course you are a 'new' carer, but have previously had a placement...

I'm really not having a go at you.. .not at all... just had to clarify as I thought I was going do-lally...

Maybe it is the thought of someone staying for years thats off putting, whereas a lot of us who have someone coming in for a few "weeks/months" and still have that little one 12 months plus later are more happy with it.

Shouldn't a child needing a definate long term placement be more carefully matched and really be with someone who is interested in long term fostering.

If you are concerned about the behaviour I do agree with whoever said you should maybe rethink your age range as sadly it is pretty standard stuff.

Whatever happens, good luck xx