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Fostering

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

Original poster

can anyone help me with what my girls will need for their stay at fc

18 replies

hmmmmmidontknow · 06/04/2011 23:52

HI all I just want to say first of all you all do a fantastic job with the babies/children you look after

I am having surgery on monday so my girls (2and a half and 6months) are most likely going to fc whilst I have the surgery and recovering time. I find out for definite tomorrow.

I was wondering what my dd's will need with them? so I can pack their bags aswell as mine, I dont know how long they will be in foster care for as it depends on how quick I recover etc.

They are also bereaved children especially the 2year old (their daddy died 7months ago)

Hope someone can let me know roughly.

OP posts:
sumum · 07/04/2011 00:03

Try not to worry too much, have you met the carer?

If you can meet her and she can meet the children it would help and you can ask her what she needs you to pack.

Generally you just need to pack what you would for a little holiday away, undies, nightwear, variety of clothes and shoes and coats. the foster carer can wash so you wont need masses of stuff.

the girls favourite toys and cuddlies would be good too and a few nappies and also a bottle or two and some formular. Toothbrushes and any medication they are on, also the red books would be needed in case they got ill.

And a couple of photo's of yourself for them to have will help.

hth and things go well.

Original poster
hmmmmmidontknow · 07/04/2011 00:06

Thanks for the reply. I might be meeting her/him tomorrow as the social has phoned me this evening to say she will be bringing someone over to meet the girls tomorrow, my youngest is bf so I need to speak to someone about that :(

OP posts:
fishtankneedscleaning · 07/04/2011 00:17

Aw bless you and your babies ((((hug)))) You have all been through a traumatic time with more to come with your operation.

Pack a bag for them as if they were going on holiday for a week - clothes, any special soaps, toiletries. skincare etc they may need. Make sure they have their comforters - dummy, special teddy, blankie. Also favourite toys and books.

And of course formula and bottles for the baby. Don't worry if you do not have a full tin the foster carer will buy some when she knows what milk your baby is on.

Anything you think they will need to last them a week. If recovery is sooner that that'll be great. If it is longer then their clothes can be washed and worn for however long it takes. Once the foster carer knows what toiletries and skincare they use she will be able to buy more if needed.

Make a list of the childrens likes and dislikes, including food, and usual daily routine so the foster carer can maintain as normal a routine as possible for the children.

I hope your surgery goes well and you make a speedy recovery.

fishtankneedscleaning · 07/04/2011 00:18

Oops x posted with sumum Smile

shaz298 · 07/04/2011 07:44

Just wanted to say that I hope all goes well with your surgery and that your Los are back home with you very soon, xxx

Minnerva · 07/04/2011 09:41

I also wanted to send you best wishes and hope that you have a speedy recovery.xx

maypole1 · 07/04/2011 15:20

yes good advice pack as if they were going to stay with a relative for a week some special toys, but the fc should have lots of stuff maybe let them know i their somthing special they like to eat,

ask fc about buggy situation we cannot take big moster buggys as our house is very small might ask for a photo of the family to show children before they go.

wish you a good recovery at lest you wont have to worry the children arnt being looked after that will help the healing loads

washnomore · 07/04/2011 15:26

hmm, if you post on the breast and bottle-feeding forum you will get advice on how to handle the feeding issue with your baby. You will need to express milk while you're apart. They can advise you about that, or you could also phone one of the breastfeeding helplines for advice. I think it's important that you make arrangements for this if you want to continue BFing after the operation. Good luck :)

sumum · 07/04/2011 16:08

Yes would definatly agree with washnomore re the breastfeeding, get some expert advice as continuing when your baby is back with you will be a great help in her settling back in. and for you too it will be important as bf is something only YOU can do, iyswim.

Any good foster carer will realise this and help all they can with regards feeding/bottles and routines.

It is so sad you are in this situation but you should get all the support you need, all the foster carers i know would bend over backwards to help in this kind of situation.

Hope your recovery is speedy.

mumsiepie · 07/04/2011 17:06

What about some clothing of yours, that smells of you, to put in the cot. Hopefully you will be able to have daily visits from the children if that is what you would like. I can only imagine how hard it must be for for you. Speedy recovery wishes xx

WereOffToSeeTheWizard · 07/04/2011 19:09

No advice as not quite approved for foster caring but just wanted to wish you a speedy recovery.
Will the fc be able to bring your children for visits? I'm sure they will, hope so anyway.

SquidgyBrain · 07/04/2011 19:28

What a horribly hard time you have had OP.

Nothing really to add just wanted to wish you an easy time with both the surgery and your girls being looked after. Sending lots of speedy recovery wishes from here also

Northernlurker · 07/04/2011 19:34

I think the packing has been covered but just wanted to say firstly how sorry I am that you're facing this. Secondly though I know someone whose son was cared for by a foster carer whilst mum (single parent) was in hospital in pre term labour then having a c-section. It was about a week in total and I was really impressed with the foster carer. Very relaxed type who did a great job. She bought him in for visits and took him to the circus during the time she had him. Your dcs wil be well looked after.

Original poster
hmmmmmidontknow · 07/04/2011 23:53

Hi
thanks for all of your replies and sympathies.

I have met the Fc today and they have over 20years experience, DD2 took to the woman dd1 is still unsure, I have asked about pushchair and buggy board, they want mine as the children will be used to it.

We are going to meet up with the FC everryday until sunday (when we will go for lunch then Fc will take me to hospital) I wont see my girls on monday (the day of surgery) but if things are good and straight forward (last time I had an alergic reation to the anesthetic) I will see them every day from tuesday,

the FC are lovely people and I wish they looked after me when I was my dd's age. especailly when the were trying to tell dd1 wha they will do 9 i so much wish I was dd1 as it sounds very exciting)

My girls are going to be the only children there as they have just passed thier

I have asked dd1 to pack her fav toys. she is not intrested and she thinks she is going to stay with me,. I am dreading them walking out of the room with my babies, leaving me behind, I really hope dd1 is good for them and wont cry to much as it will upset me more, I dont want to think about that time to be honest.

I am thinking the photo of dp, dd1 and myself aswell as a pic of dd2, obviously dd2 was not birn before dp passed over.

I am also thinking about all sleeping together on sat night and cuddling loads.

I am dreading it as tomorrow is friday then it is only a few days until my girls leave me, I have not been alone since dp died, I dont want to be, I keep thinking if i cancel the surgery I will have them, but if i do that I will lose my sight so I will lose them for good.

I know my girls will be well looked after but it is scary leaving them with someone, who I only have just met for 2hour today (I know I will be spending all day sat and sun with them) What happens if they abuse children? or if they really dont care, or ss wont return them? I know I am thinking really stupid things but I cant lose my girls. I need them to help me live my life.

OP posts:
caz2go · 08/04/2011 09:57

Oh love ,you really need to speak to someone about your worries and fears,I can understand how you feel having virtual strangers taking care of your children ,but talk to them about how you are feeling ,i,m sure they will understand and try and put your mind at rest .
Will you be able to phone them from hospital to say nite nite to them ,I would try and arrange this with F/C .
We have only been approved since last march ,whilst waiting for a long term placement ,we had 2 children 3 & 4 stay for respite for 3 nights while mum couldnt look after them .
We had a great allthough exhausting time ,and tried to give the kids plenty to do to keep them occupied and entertained .
They rang home a couple of times and we kept talking about when they were going home ,also they made mum a card to give her when they got home.
Sending you hugs ,Caz x

maypole1 · 08/04/2011 16:08

yes they will return then i have done respite for a parent who needed to go to another country for a family matter but wasnt able to take the child, the child went stright back the day after mum got back.please talk to sw about your worries

tunecedemalis · 11/04/2011 10:14

What an amazing courageous mum you are- good luck

Grabaspoon · 22/04/2011 17:28

I hope the op went well and you and the girls are all at home together now :)

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