Keeping in contact

[scarlet5tyger]

I'm about to move my LO on to his new home and new mum is keen to keep in touch (once baby has had chance to bond with his new family). I've not been able to keep in touch with any of the children I've moved on so far which has been heartbreaking but I wonder if maybe better in the long run (I'd always find something not right in their new lives!!!)

Has anyone stayed in touch with their placements once they leave?

I often find they new parents say they will but when they get that baby home and reality sets in they change their minds.
So I always take promises with a pinch of salt.

If they do keep in touch I personally find it is better by letter and email as they are no longer 'my' kids any more and I find it easier to not see them past the six week approval visit.

I'm not a foster mum but am an adopter of three. My DS2 has been home for 6 years now and we still keep in touch with his foster mum. Haven't seen her for a while now but we (the adults!) keep in touch regularly and we've learned a lot from each other. My son was the first that she'd moved on to adoption and she's learned a lot about attachment and developmental trauma from what we've experienced with him. In return I've learned a lot about him and how to be a good parent.

When my daughter was placed 20 months later (after I'd had two baby boys) she gave me step by step instructions on how to change a girl's nappy!

My eldest's we don't have any contact with now - their choice.

My daughter's also no contact but that was because they couldn't accept us as her parents. We also have her brother. They didn't want to give her up and couldn't accept that she would be better off with her brother.

Intros were a nightmare - lots of tears, tantrums and walk outs. And then they refused to hand her over. They hid in the kitchen and refused to see us. But they had invited all their extended family there for the handover.

Truly awful.

I did try to maintain email contact but they couldn't cope with their loss and haven't replied to anything I've sent.

Thanks everyone, will see how it goes!

Think it largely depends on how you get on with the adopters and how you feel about them adopting the foster child.
I have heard of many that intend keeping in touch but things move on and it is difficult keeping in touch with friends at the best of times and with the best of intentions.
Keep an open mind but don't expect too much I always think. Hope the bridging went well.