how to support friend who is a foster carer?

[PandaG]

Friends have just finished their first placement, child has moved on to permanent arrangement. Friend is very sad that child has gone, the placement was over a year and significant attachment had (rightly) happened between child and my friend.

I am being deliberately vague (can you tell?!)

Please can any of you wonderful foster carers give me any advice ashow I can support my friend at this time?

Thanks

lots of hugs and a bottle of vino

ant you lovely

have done hugs and cried together, will do wine at some point soon.

Just wondered if it does get easier as you have more children, if the first is the hardest to hand over etc. I will point her in the direction of here, as she may find it helpful to chat to others in the same boat.

yes the first is defo the hardest especially if you have had them along time.

thinking what ahead to what I'll need when my first two leave, lots of reassurance that I've done a good thing for them, given them security, love and enabled them to become who they are, something that will hopefully shape their future lives... and that its now time to let them go in order to make the same difference to some other child in desperate need..

at the end of the day, we all know it has to happen and in theory we can cope with it.. but when reality hits home, it will (I imagine) hurt like bloody hell...

I read a lovely quote on here the other day, that when a FC leaves it takes a piece of your heart with it, that is so another FC can come and fill it... I hope that gives me some reasurrance when the time comes!!

cheers to your friend for being such a brilliant human being

Do you have pictures? I have fostered within the family and we are one year in of having the DC with us, My sis gave us a picture book of us through out the year and a mini one for the DC, My Mum and Dad got us a Family picture jigsaw.
Could you afford a special spa day for both of you in current times many are doing special deals.
You are a fab friend

thanks all of you. I have tried to say those kind of things p99gmb, just don't want to say the wrong thing either. Like the piont that it gives the opportunity for her to make a difference in another child's life

She has quite a lot of pictures, she made a fab life book for the child to take on to its new place.

Trip to the Spa a good idea, may suggest that in a week or 2.

I just want to support the family at this time - I know I will miss the child too. DH is off out with the foster dad (friend's DH) tonight, otherwise I would have suggested we went out for a glass of wine ourselves! Good though, as I am sure friend's DH will need support too.

I am considering respite foster care myself, just need DH to agree first!