Contact locations?

[bottersnike]

We are most of the way through the assessment process to become foster carers, and I have been concerned about the options for contact locations and levels of supervision.
I am very uneasy about contact taking place in our home, but our social worker is all for it, so until now I have not voiced my concern. I would accept the very occasional, supervised contact taking place in our home, but not on a regular basis.
What are your thoughts about this? Am I being too protective about our home?

do not agree to it they should be able to provide contcat at a contact centre as the do in our la if they are deemed to be a risk then it should be at a contact centre if not then the child should be going for overnight stays with them of visits for the whole day.

by having them in your home you leave your self open to all sorts of allergations and belive me they usually have enough to moan about.

my sw was all for this whaen i first stated we agreed and then when my oh was on nights had to call the police as we had the dad sitting outside my home with another man this was at 2am

also long after that we suffred with eggs being chucked at our window and i can only put it down to that

after that we refused to have contact at our home as we dont want the bio parents to know were we live for our and our bio childs saftey so we use the contact centre also i do not feel i am independant which is what the parent needs doing the observation not us who have the baggage of knowing why the child is in care.

please raise this they have use of contact centres dont let them bully you as its cheaper and less hassle if they can get us to do it.

Hi,

We have one contact in our home, (mum) and one in the contact centre, (wider family), the one in the contact centre is less stressful. It does feel like an invasion of your home!

I'm pleased to see it's not just me!

we were told at assessment that it may be seen as suitable for the parents to have contact in our house as we were seeking approval (and got) for 0-2 year olds.

However I have been asked if contact could happen her for our current LO and I have refused point blank. It is your home you don't have to allow anyone you don't want into it

Amen to that these parents on the whole are inappropriate so what the he'll do you want them your home

No way... simple

also.. we were told by our link worker that due to financial cuts, it was highly likely that some contact centers and contact workers would be closed & made redundant, therefore they would be looking at having contact more at your home...! They can't make you do it, but if it was a condition of the placement, then you simply wouldn't get the placement!!

Someone on a recent court mentioned it would be a step backwards in that contact would revert back to being in McDonalds!!

I find this thread very interesting. When I began my social work career in 1981, all contact was in home of the foster carers. Very rarely and if someone was known to be violent an exception was made. So a lot of the prep courses that came later (none in 1981) used to cover the issue of contact and nearly all propspective f-c's were worried about it. We used to bring in experienced carers who were able to mostly re-assure people that it was an inconvenience more than anything else, and the nat parents bringing loads of sweets etc. I honestly cannot recall a situation where a f-c felt threatened. If anything it was the nat parents that felt worse because they were visiting someone who was looking after their child, usually in bigger and "posher" homes than theirs, and thet felt intimidated.

Some foster carers were brilliant at facilitating contact at home and were friendly to the nat parents (a lot of whom were (and still are) just immature young kids who have led chaotic lifestyles because they never received good parenting in their childhoods. Some foster carers used to tell us that it was the nat mother than needed fostering, and I'm sure this is still the case.

Others were notso good and we used to get complaints from the nat parents "she's a stuck up cow"or "they've got a great big house and washing machines and everything, if we had that, we could look after our kids better" etc etc.

Then somehow or other, (and I can't honestly remember it happening) almost all contact took place at contact centres,, which sometimes meant driving babies and youg children for several miles when it was their sleep/feed time etc. Gradually contact at home of f-c was totally phased out and all contact was at contact centres.

Interesting that now the cuts are being made in public services, social services will need to make significant cuts (anyone who is not a front line sw) and that means I imagine, contact supervisors, drivers transporting children, any fees that have to be paid to contact centre etc. Also as you say p99gmb, some contact centres will be closed down.

Seems the pendulum has swung full circle.

That's really interesting, particularly NanaNina. I understand that it is less disruptive for the children if contact is in the fc's home, but I am concerned that a) this exposes the fc to parents that may be extremely disruptive / confrontational etc and b) is not a neutral setting for either the fc or the parent, thereby lessening the chance for either of them to feel at a disadvantage.
I suspect that my feelings on this will change depending on the parents of the kids that we will (hopefully!) end up fostering, but I want to be sure that I am not letting myself and my family in for something inappropriate and potentially disturbing.

Having contact in FC home, is a good way to keep the children secure, on their own patch. But when it is suggested you leave the house, by SW, so the parents can get on with it, does make you feel a bit put out

what if you dont want to go out we have bio children so that wouldn't work for us wondering the streets in the cold until the contact has finished, for babies who are defo going home then i can see this would be good but i heard tells at christmas of fc expected to have the families in their homes of christmas day

I can fully understand that there are somje occasions when it is more appropriate for the contact to be in the fc home. However to ask FC to leave to birth parents and foster child can have contact - completely inappropriate.

Any issues of alcohol or drugs or agression/violence and I would not be having parents having contact in my home at all. I need to protect my own child too. xxx

I never ever heard of foster carers being asked to leave their home - quite ridiculous and unsafe for the child too. Also ridiculous to think nat prts could have contact on Christmas day. Christmas always caused problems,, but it was always acknowledged that special times like this (including Sundays) were family days and no contact was arranged for those times.

bottersnike - I think you are right it is less disruptive for the children if contact is in the f-c's home and I understand your concerns. To be honest I think the fear of disruptive/confrontational nat parents was far worse than the reality. Dependent upon the situation we used to advise carers to offer a cup of tea/coffee and then get on with their own thing, not necessarily in the same room, so nat prts did not feel they were being monitored. Contact in the home of the f-c was still happening in the mid 80s because that's when sexual abuse began to come to light (had of course been going on for donkey's years) and f-c's were saying they would not feel comfortable having someone in their home who had sexually abused a child. I think we got around this by the sw for the child visiting at the same time.

These cuts are going to have knock on effects that the govt have not thought of - if all you foster carers are not going to agree to contact in your own home, and if pressed may give up fostering, then the LA are going to lose carers, and are not going to be able to promote contact between a child and the parents as they are required by law to do, prior to the final court hearing when a decision is made about the child's future. Am just thinking that the IFAs may see another loophole and offer contact at contact centres but charge the LA big bucks for so doing.

Back to the time I was talking about, prospective carers would not have been approved if they refused contact in their own homes.

Naturally foster carers want to protect themselves and their own children, but if you are involved (as you should be) inthe pre-placement meeting with the parents, you may feel less threatened. Mind that doesn't deal with emergency placements. I think sws are going to have to carry out risk assessments on nat parents rather than lose carers, but guess that might happen anyway. As I said before, mostly nat prts feel very awkward in f-cs homes but usually save their complaints for the sw.

Be interesting to see how it pans out.

I was not aware that foster carers were involved in any pre-placement meetings with the parents; I thought they only discussed the placement with the social worker?

Well if the LAC guidelines are adhered to, and it is a planned placement (and a lot of them aren't) then there should be a pre placement meeting to include the foster carers, nat parents, child (if old enough) fostering link worker and soc worker for the child.

As an adopter can I also point out that there may well be future security risks if contact takes place at the home of the fc.

One of ours has an extremely chaotic and violent birth family. They had during contact been allowed to pick up their child from the fc and so clearly knew where she lived. And when introductions were taking place.

And they missed us by a hair's breadth. Literally they drove up the road as we drove out. The fc was really scared and it could have had huge implications for the safety of our now son.

thats why we refuse because intanaly things may go well and parents respond to sw but, its when its clear the child wont be returning or the fc has to report somthing the parents have done thats when it can become very dangrous as we found out.

also just for instance say in our case mum was allowed contact in the foster carers home but dada wasnt because he was voilent quite often the parents are in league with each other dispite what they or sw say

the childs mum was the one who told dad were we live despite them "not being on speaking terms"

then we had him parked outside ours at 2 in the moring i was so scared after that we started getting our house egged

so i no longer entertain ss wanting contact at my home they can have it in a contact centre or find someone else

and ofetn parents often pretend their spit so the other parent can gain custody when its quite clear the other wont get it then next thing you no their back together

my lo parents are apprently at war currently at court fighting over custody last week dad satayed at mums for three days mmmmmmmm at war my arse

Clearly it is something we need to discuss further with our social worker, or just not mention it until we are approved

No absolutely no contact takes place at my home.I did it for the first foster placement with a baby and drug addicted mum but never again.

I understand budget restrictions and that it could possibly be less disruptive for the child but safety is paramount and your home is your place of safety for that child/baby and your own family.Sometimes you have to look at the wider picture and to me this is a perfect example.The parents of these children can be unpredictable and you must protect yourselves.That may sound extreme but it isn't-what can seem a good idea at first can quickly turn sour and you leave yourself open to all sorts of problems.

Put safety first,as you are always told to by social services and contact should always take place at a centre.Budget cuts will have to take place in other areas where potential safety is NOT at risk.

And whilst I accept this is not always the case-I am not prepared to risk it and I don't think you should either.

I am not saying that I wouldn't ever have contact in my home, but my current LO's parents have convictions of petty theft and are in serious debt, I wouldn't allow anyone in my home I couldn't trust, so why should I let these people?