Contact gurrr

[maypole1]

After a lengthy battle mum has all but lost her case

But this weekend did not turn up for contact irony she had forgot were the contact centre was

She has broken contact before the let time she went AWOL for 6 months and we had only just got lo head straight and during the court case mum ws coming often to see lo

Now she has lost I wonder if she is giving up the I wote along email to childs sw asking if their going to challenge mum on why she isn't showing up

My question is they wouldn't make lo go every week if mum isn't coming right?

Lo face when she got dropped back home asking me weres mummy isn't she my friend I cried all night I felt so sad for her It would be so crule to make her go every other week if no ones showing up

I mean she said she had forgotten were

I hate to be the bearer of bad news Maypole 1 but I cared for two siblings who put their mum on a pedestal.

She abandoned them and went AWOL for around 6 months. She eventually turned up, asking for contact with her 6 children.

Contact was set up and she made it to the contact centre, albeit it half an hour late. She did not turn up to the following contact. The children were expected to attend a further 6 times despite SW knowing there was little chance of mother turning up - which she did not!

The children had to forego their weekly swimming lesson to attend these contact sessions.

The effects on the children are heartbreaking!

In our area when this happens the mum usually has to phone the contact centre an hour before contact to say she is coming and on the way there.
Then the foster carers are told and children can travel to contact.

No phone call = no contact. Even if parent then turned up child would not be there.

It doesn't stop all the anxiety as there is still a chance each time it could be on/off but it stops all the travelling for no parent to be there. That must be like a slap in the face for our lo's.

I agree with littleflora that they will probably continue to offer contact.

In our situation, after two or three no show ups, the SW's are not even happy for her to phone to say she's coming.. she has to arrive at the contact centre 20 minutes early.. they then phone me & let me know she's there.. this gives me time to get the kids into the car and drive to the centre.

If she doesn't get to the centre by the time contact is due to start, then contact is cancelled and I don't even have to leave the house...

I fought for this quickly after a few no shows.. it was so unfair on the kids as they got into a room full of toys and after 10 minutes I was dragging them away...

Saying that, she's still normally late so the contact isn't normally the full 2 hours!

Yes our LOs mum has to actually be at the contact centre before we get a call. So we don't mention anything to the LO until we know her mum is there. Saves a lot of heartache for LO.

Our contact has the same rule - parents have to be in attendance at the centre 30 minutes before children are due or it's cancelled. (I must admit I dread that phonecall now, I'm treasuring my hour of peace at the moment!!! )

I find parents often start missing more contacts towards the end of the battle, almost as if they're giving up. Makes me a bit sad as I know I'd fight until the very last second for them.

Oh dear, so this is very common

Well spoke to my support worker and she suggest such a system were mum has to ring once she gets off the train we live round the corner so it takes us no time to get to the contact centre

Lo is acting very odd today just repeating are you my friend mummy on her little toy phone her mum brought her

I might hide the phone before lo comes back from school and do some play dough or something I can't bear to watch lo tormenting herself