Attatchment disorder?

[Marne]

Hi, have posted in sn's but thought i would try hear as apparently a lot of children who have been in care suffer from this.

A little boy that comes to our house has attatchment disorder, he has had a tough time (his mum was very young when she had him and a few months ago she gave him up, he is niow being looked after by a relitive), he's a lovely little boy but can be very naughty, her switches himself off when you try and ask him to do something that he doesn't want to do and does not like cuddles.

Is there anything i can do to help him when he comes over? yesterday he almost got onto my lap but then turned away, he's happy to play with me as long as its on his terms and i don't get too close.

Consistency is the key. Try to be calm with him and go along with the games he wants to play. When he trusts you he may well be naughty but he will need to check out if you will stick with him or not.

If there are very evident signs of attachment disorders then his relative may be able to claim disability living allowance which could pay for counselling or play therapy.

Thank you, he has been diagnosed by the gp (i think), they did suspect ASD but i cant see any major ASD traits in him (i have 2 dd's with ASD), he has had a bad start in life (has always had to entertain hiself). TBH the person who has him now is not likely to spend much time with him (although he will be better off with her), i feel like the time he spends here needs to be used to help him and he seems to enjoy being here.

The GP might be able to recommend a therapist.

Relatives are often used by children's services because they come cheap and it is easier for the children to stay with someone they know in their own environment.

If you are worried that the relative is not a good influence on the the little boy then make contact with social services with your concerns, you may not have to leave your details, I'm not sure.

I don't think phoning ss is an option, he is safe where he is, the person he is with has other children but she tends to just let them get on with things (amuse themselves). Wish i could give more details but i don't want to out myself. I'm sure he will be ok where he is but its not ideal.