Supervised Contact - am I moaning too much?

[p99gmb]

Hi oh wise ones.

My question is for those with experience of supervised contact.

Our two LO's go to a family centre and a SW sits in and observes.

Or at least that is what I thought their role was.

There is one particular SW who I think has 'crossed the line' and I don't know if its just me or if I should mention it and your opinions would be really helpful. I just feel like all I ever do is moan to the kids SW and saying something negative about a SW isn't something I would do lightly.

I am seeing my link worker on Fri so I'm going to ask her too - well - depending on what you guys say..

The first time last week, when I entered the room to collect the kids, she had the 2.5yr old in her arms giving her a big kiss & hug goodbye.

Common sense tells me that maybe even the LO asked for a kiss - it just didn't 'sit right' with me.

Today when I entered the room, they were 'all' playing outside on the climbing frame.

They'd obviously had a great time, which I applaud but I do wonder how objective this person can be when she is 'involved' in more than what appears to be an 'observation' role.

LO aged 22 mths came back very wet & dirty nappy (again).

The next 6 wks are crucial in what happens to the kids, and I just want to be sure that it is handled correctly and unbiased.

Then again, am I being biased??

All of the other SW who supervise do not seem to be 'hands on' and seem to sit back and let mum & kids get on with it.

I only see the first couple of minutes and the last few on collection, so I can (dangerously) only presume.

This SW has been pulled up before for not escorting the kids to the car (mum previously has been very volatile) and used the excuse that 'well, we'd had such a lovely session that she didn't think anything would happen'. It didn't that time, but as she knows, things have happened before.

Guys, please - either tell me to stop moaning and looking for things or should I voice my concerns to my link worker?

If you have concerns I would say mention it to your link worker. You could tell her that you are not sure if it is or not appropriate behaviour but it didn't sit right with you.

I haven't had any supervised contact experience so I can't really comment knowledgeably but I think it is always better to say?

i would speak to your link worker as what the sw write in her report will help determine what will happen to the children. perhaps ask about her experience or qualification because i think some are not social workers but may be trainees or social work assistants.

she is supposed to let the parents interact on their own so that she can report how they handled the situation, ie appropriate hugs, discipline, nappy changing etc, and whether they met the basic needs of the children as well as any problems with the parents or conerns they raised. etc

i think you need to ask yourself if you dont say anything and something happened to the LOs would you feel guilty and upset with yourself? i am not saying anything will happen and the parents probably love their children but there is always a chance something could happen and if the sw is not being independent and is too involved who is then going to speak up? and will it be too late?

All my foster placements have had supervised contact and I'm with you on this one. Yes, the supervisor will "lend a hand" if needed at contact but her role is primarily to observe parents parenting, not do it for them.

I've also supervised contacts at the family centre myself and the first thing you're told is that you're only there to watch. Even if parents are doing something you wouldn't do at home unless it's dangerous you don't intervene, just note it down - maybe why the LO was allowed home with a wet nappy?

p99GMG - I'm sure you've heard me on these threads and will know I am retired after 30 yrs as a sw and the last 15 as a tm mgr of a fostering team.

You must report this to your link worker and he/she should report it to the child's social worker. These contact supervisors are simply that, and are not usually trained in any way, but they should have an understanding of their role, to observe the interaction between the parents and children and make a written recored and ensure the child is kept safe.

It is highly inappropriate for her to be kissing and cuddling a child and extremely insensitive to the natural parents. As Scarlet5 says, the contact supervisor's role is to observe the interaction and only intervene if there is an issue of safety to the child involved.

As far as the wet and dirty nappy is concerned, the parents should have noticed this and the fact that they didn't should have been recorded. However if the contatc supervisor knew about it, she should have asked them to change her, rather than risk a nasty nappy rash, or similar.

So yes, do make your concerns known for the sake of the child, the natural parents and yourself.

Thank you everyone - but particularly Nananina.. I was really hoping you would answer and hear your opinion from 'your side'.

I shall talk to my link worker tomorrow and take her advice too.

Thanks again...

i have only ever done supervised contact. the role of the contact staff is to observe and report and record. that is it.

they can interact with a child if a child speaks to them but other than that they do not get involved.
they can point out hings like the babies nappy needs changing etc.

i know that everything they write down is used during proceedings so they are there in an official capacity.

aside from anything else the time during contact is for parents and child to be together. it seems from what you are saying the contact staff member is distracting from this and that is not on.
i would definately bring it to your lw's attention.
it doesnt seem right to me. and they certainly should not be kissing and hugging the child. that is extremely unnerving and personally i would be bringing it up with their manager.

why is a social worker doing contact? contact centres have their own staff for this very reason?!

No problem p99gmb - you will certainly be doing the right thing. fostermumtomany - you say everything they write down is used in proceedings, but this isn't actually the case. I don't want to insult any contact supervisors but some of the notes that I have seen are illegible and mostly say everything is all right. The other thing is that anyone who makes a statement for court has to be available for examination by the LA lawyer and the defence lawyer (lawyer for the parents) and it would not be fair to expect untrained contact supervisors to be put in that position. Most social workers dread court hearings and cross examinations, and get nervous about court hearings.

The purpose really is to ensure safety of the child and observe and make notes. The notes help the sw to address any issues of concern with the parents, that have arisen, so that in their statement they can make comments if necessary about a matter of concern, and about which they have discussed with the parents. You are not allowed to use "hearsay" evidence e.g. Mrs x told me that she saw the child's mother do such and such. The court rules about evidence are very strict, in the interst of fairness to all the parties.

Fostermumtomany - in this case it is always a SW from the appropriate team who supervise and never a contact centre support person.

I truly believe this SW should know better and is being unprofessional.

I did mention it to my link worker albeit, in a very rushed minute. I will wait and see what happens when the 'SW' next 'supervises' and then take it from there.

I think for me as a serious 'beginner', its difficult to know what is the 'norm' and how critical I am being - although my link worker says she finds my feedback important & fair & balanced.

I have reported back today about 3 days on the run LO being collected with soiled trousers on day 1 and a dirty nappy the other days. This was an issue when LO first came to us - his nappy rash used to bleed (due to neglect) so I think its important anyway.

Thanks again everyone

I have had the very same experience and brought so much trouble upon myself when I spoke about inappropriate behaviour from a SW towards a LO. I thought I was speaking up for the child but SW are human and some bring their own insecurities to work.

What are your concerns? An unbiased opinion from the SW or a stable placement for the LO? I got my priorities all wrong. It is too difficult trying to change the system when all we are asked to do is care for the children. We cannot make the decisions that are life changing for them.

I think tell your link/support worker then her team manager then leave it at that. They should record what you have done to raise your concerns as part of the support session.

Hi all first time on here but i am currently in my 3rd year of my social work degree. We have been told especially during contact with young children with parents the best way to assess is to interact.

I totally agree that the kissing and hugging is im appropriate however some parents have never had the role model to learn from and in order to assess their ability to learn, we can be the teachers.

I agree that social workers are there to do a job but in order to build relationships with people to form a trusting bond i believe sometimes we have to be human to and interact without a pen and paper in hand.

I would expect anyone i was working with how had concerns of any kind to ask me or my supervisor though. In my experience so far there is never an unwarrented worry.

Please let us know how you get on :)

AshLeee5 - I think there are 2 issues here. The one under discussion is the observation of contact, and that means exactly that, and record what the interaction is (or isn't) between the relatives and their child/ren. The only way a contact supervisor would be expected to intervene is if there was a safety issue. This is when children have been removed from parents and are in foster care but are having contact with their parents, whilst awaiting care proceedings.

The other issue (to which I think you are referring) is when assessing parents in their own home with their children, and yes of course you need to intereact with the child and the parents. Not sure about "teaching" parents but it can be wise to suggest ways of positive parenting, praising good behaviour and not just giving attention when the child is doing something they don't want him to do. Many parents in these circumstances don't understand the need to play with their children and give them attention and again the sw can take along crayons and paper etc and start playing with the children in the hope that the parents will see that the child likes the attention and may start doing it themselves.

However I am a little pessimistic about this modelling because many of the parents involved with SSD will have not had experience of positive parenting themselves, nor of being given attention etc and it is not easy (sometimes imposible) to bring about changes in parenting, as behaviour is really a product of experience.

Of course we have to be human and you certainly can't do that with pen and paper - in fact it would be wholly wrong to do this and rather insulting.

Good luck with your course.

Hi NanaNina, sorry i have not been on for a while. I can assure you that the information i provided before was accurate. During Supervised contact we have been informed it is best practice to (if we deem it to be appropriate) to perhaps assist in play or facilitate a game etc in doing this we have been told it gives us a better opportunity to assess capacity not only to parent but also to learn new skills perhaps if a parent is being shown something they never knew before.

In doing this it allows to build relationships and also allows us to make proper assessments. I even double checked after reading the thread.

Thanks so much for your kind words, 15 months to go, not that i am counting at all

Bit off topic but thanks for that thread ashlee- my LO has supervised contact and spends all the time playing with the supervisor- now I have a better idea of why this happens- thanks!!!

I think the SW input on these threads is invaluable as it leads to a greater understanding for foster carers and helps everyone feel we are in it together rather then "us and them".