I hate mornings

[SenSationsMad]

7am wake ups I can cope with but anything before just kills me. I'm out of practice and getting too old for this.
I'm just gonna get it out of my system, please excuse me............ AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Thank you [hwink]

I'm not dealing well with morning this morning either - so you are in great company!

Although mine is purely down to feeling pants and having zero voice - so I can't even scream about it

[hgrin]

Sympathies from me too. Our youngest fc (3 weeks old) had a bottle at 11pm then huffed and puffed until 1.30am.
Drank about an ounce of formula and fell fast asleep until 3.30am.

He finished a 4oz bottle then fell asleep.....for 10 minutes.

I gave up trying to get him back to sleep around 5am.

It's going to be a long day (sigh)

and any ideas more than welcome of things you can do with toddlers on a very wet, half term week... ahhh

I'm climbing the walls here..

too young for colouring & stuff... all full of colds so can't go swimming.. indoor playcentres will be 'heaving'...

thinking cap has stopped working..

contact meeting just been cancelled... ahhh

Still, least I was only up once in the night, so have many sympathies for you all...

I used to fill a washing up bowl with soapy water and give them non-breakable stuff to wash.

Plastic cups, wooden spoons etc, or even dolls and their clothes. Helps if you have plastic aprons and put towels on the floor but it used to keep lo's amused for a while.

Not bad a day for me in the end! My parents come up for the day ( they were here for 8.45am so an early start for them too
Me and two LAC went to a contact meeting, then DP looked after us all all day - they were very impressed with the little ones, and the way my two are with them.
I've dried a load in the tumble, dishwasher has been on, cottage pie in the oven and I've had 5 minutes to talk to you. All thats left to do now is bath and bedtime - and then I'll be sitting down in time for Holby!
Hope you all had a good day, regardless of the weather x

Hope you're feeling better Squidgy

Had a rough night again last night
This fostering lark would be easy if it wasn't for the night time waking. (well maybe not - but easier anyway)

Woke up at 1.45am, again at two am and then at 5.30am.

DH and I need to agree on a stratergy. I've suggested that we sleep downstairs tonight and try controlled crying. ( I couldn't do it if I was in the same room)
He's much calmer about the situation to be honest, and was when I suggested this.

Might, have to think seriously about moving him in with his brother. They are going for a sleepover one night next week so is it worth the hassle before then or wait until they've been? What would you do?

Hi Sens,

I would move him in with his brother and do controlled crying.

Looking afer lac is not the same as your own and you need to fuction, if you are not happy then you may give up fostering after this or not take on any more young ones which would be a real shame.

You need to look at the bigger and longer picture and set up stratagies that will work with your family long term, with this placement and the next and the next.

I have always breastfed, co-slept and done attachment parenting with my own so it was a big shift to look after other peoples kids in a differnt way, but it does get easier and the lac thrive with routines (which i hated with my own kids)

That is not to say you don't care about them or neglect thier needs, it's just done in a different way.

I am very sleep deprived at the moment as have a 10 week old who is not settling into a routine and is up quite a bit in the night, but she is only a tiny newborn and I would never advocate cc for that age, but you lo is over one and at that age should be capable of sleeping through the night.

You may need to check there is no medical reason for his waking or nothing traumatic in his history to explian it. But if its ordinary toddler waking then i would recommend being firm with him.

HUGS to you.

Oh sumum we need to stop thinking the same way - it is just not on!!

like you I think one of the biggest challenges for me is going to not looking after these children in the same way as I did my own - although I have some experience of that too (I was a nanny for a short while)

Controlled crying is horrible but it works and it works well, like sumum says never with a youngster but you all have to live in a way that means you are all functioning well. And it tends to only take a few nights and then it is done and dusted with. I have clear memories of sitting on the landing outside my kids rooms upset but it is well worth the results.

Hugs to both you SSM and sumum hoping you both get to sleep better soon

Thank you both. I'm very keen to try CC but what /how/ where? Can't see it working in our room, and doesn't seem fair to have his older brother suffer if he's in with him. ( hence me suggesting both me and DH de-camp into the living room....)
Lac meeting on Monday so this will be discused there with HV and SW.
Appreciating the hugs

I would just leave the sleeping arrangements as they are for CC - I know that it seems unfair on everyone else but it should only take a couple of nights and if you change things about then it might unsettle everything even more and cause the LO to be even more unsettled. My elder DS was in the room with our younger DS when we did CC - he ignored him and fell asleep!!

I honestly feel if you don't make something a problem then it isn't, we were never quite around the kids when they were sleeping, and we could get them to settle even when a sibling was crying ect, my SIL used to have to have everything silent for my DN which has resulted in her waking at the slightest noise and having to wear earmuffs (I kid you not) when her sister was born and not being able to deal with the baby crying at all (she is 5 so not a tiny toot herself)

I feel human this morning!!!Didn't expect to sleep much as little one didn't eat much tea or supper, but in fact he went down 7.15pm woke up at eleven, settled down, and slept till 7.15am this morning!!! ( His big brother woke at 6.30 am though- typical!
Thanks for the hand holding x

Oh what a star!!

Oh how I can't wait to be sleep deprived! - it was 8 weeks on Wednesday since we were formally approved and 9 weeks yesterday since panel. I get so angry at myself when I get impatient reminding myself that it is great that there is not a child in need of our care. Sorry for the derail and moan!

It was three months for us remember, so don't get disheartened. During that time we had loads of calls, but nothing come of it. I think we were restricted by our age group, 4 - 9yrs, but we'd been warned that that age group was the least needed!
Are you doing anything else in the meantime Squidgy? Can't remember if you've said that you're working as well.

I didn't realise that you had been waiting so long as well shall stop whinging now lol

I know we are very restricted by our age group (0-2) and it isn't helped by there being another 4 places open for this ages either. (the LA are now not even doing an initial interview with anyone registering an interest in fostering babies) I am a full time mum with 3 kids (4,6 and 7) still patience is a virtue right

In our LA, foster carers for babies are needed the most. Babies or teenagers. I also think that most children that go through the system here are in sibling groups, and we were initially registered for one child. I guess they always want to keep brothers and sisters together.
Why were you up so late last night squidgy? If I'd have known you were up, you could have been on baby duty for me! ( yes, yet another rough night
DH has been spoiling us today as LAC are on a sleepover.

We live right in a neighbouring LA to Dundee which has a hideous level of drug abuse, so there tends to be a high level of LO requiring care, and our LA often ends up with the over spill. So it has been a bit of a shock not to have even ended up with one phone call!

Sorry to hear that you had a rough night last night - DH and I are night owls at the weekend, so it isn't that uncommon for us to be kicking about at silly o'clock so if we lived closer I would have loved to be on baby duty!

Glad that you have been getting spoiled today and I hope you enjoy your evening off and your great nights sleep!!

I'm moving the cot this morning. He's going in with his brother. It's a case of survival
He's been awake since half five, but started stirring at half four. We sleep at the front of the house and we don't have double glazing, so I'm hoping that the back room with his brother will help him sleep for longer.

fingers crossed

How was the overnight stay?

Bliss
Strange how we miss them when they're not there though!
Cot has gone in, had to rearrange things but its done now. Health Visitor told me I have nothing to loose by doing it, so now I have two people to back me up :-)
I'm working from home this morning ( can't you tell?), so might grap a nap later on.
Still no calls your end? Like you've said, thats a good thing really.

so glad that you enjoyed your short break :)

Hoping you managed to grab a nap - naps rule!!

Nope still no calls, hohum

Well, the cot's in the back bedroom with the eldest child
Which means I got uninterupted sleep, well between 11pm - 4 am at least! 5 fab hours!
Then he woke up, and woke his brother up, but I managed to settle him back down quickly.
But, he woke again at 4.45 and we did some controlled crying until 6am!!! I'd pick him up and sooth him quietly and put him down, he'd scream. Repeat 4,567432 times. ( That's a bit of a lie...)
During which time big brother was also awake
They both then slept until 7am.
So, let the battle commence! I'm going to bed now, but expecting another battle of wills tonight. I. Will. Not. Give.In
(please help me God)
It won't last will it? Any more tips gladly received.

No tips, just lots of best wishes.. we have 2 lo's - the youngest 18mths and I must admit they are both brilliant sleepers, and the few times I've had to try controlled crying, I've been so tempted to give in just to end it quicker.. slippery slope though..

next few days/nights may be hard, but concentrate on the bigger picture.. a bit of hard work now should pay you dividends.

What happens when they had their sleepover at grandparents? How do they handle it..?

Poor little things.. I try and remember that no matter how hard it is for us, I cannot begin to imagine how it is for the lo's.. and they can't put it into words, nor use mumsnet!!!

keep up the good work.. it can only get easier (fingers crossed)..

My Supernanny books says you'll have it cracked within a week!!!!

In theory the time that it takes to settle him should drop every night, and it certainly did for us. We never picked them up, as that is still "giving them something" for their efforts IYSWIM, We simply went in and always repeated the same thing to them, that it was now time to sleep and they needed to put down their head and go to sleep, and that we loved them, and would put my hands on them, and have them quiet and settled before leaving them.

Controlled crying always seems cruel to me when I actually write down what we did, but the effort and distress, to you and the LO will be worth it when the pair of you have cracked it.

I feel for them I really do, and can't believe how well they've settled. ( especially since there is also a LOT of contact)

I must tell you about last night! Eldest slept through and didn't stir at all.....and the baby? I put him down awake after his bottle, and it took him 5 - 10 minutes to realise it was ok to sleep! That was 7pm. He woke again, crying about 12.30am and it took me 15 minutes to get him back to sleep. I'd pick him up and settle him, put him down, de'd cry. On the third attempt though he stayed lying down and I was able to stroke his hair to relax him and that was that. He woke up at 6.15 then so I think its a great start! Lets hope that this isn't a fluke, and that we've turned a corner.

He was unsettled at GP house as well, which makes me feel a bit better

My DC didn't get woken up, neither did Dh so result!

I can cope with anything if I get my required 8 hours. Watch out supernanny, I'm after your job!