private fostering help!!!

[singingmum]

Long story short we have had my sons friend living with us for the past 4months and SS are finally involved.The sw came out and she's very nice but am now just feeling a little freaked about the checks that we may have to go through if they decide it's worth putting it as private fostering(only 11 weeks til his 16th).We have explained that we are having the loft converted in the next few months hopefully and that we are more than willing for him to stay(could not force him home after what I have seen and experienced re his parent who we were friends with)We have family support and help.
We understand that it won't be easy and it hasn't been easy up til now as his parents are difficult and he is on his final caution but we know the circumstances surrounding it.
Would appreciate any advice or experience as we are a little lost right now.We have done research but info sketchy and confusing.
Would especially love to hear from anyone who has been in similar situation.

I haven't been in a similar situation, but just wanted to say it sounds like you're doing a wonderful thing. Good luck.

Well you for a start you should be classed as kinship carers rather than private foster carers!

If there is some sort of social services involvement with this family they should be offering you advice and support.

Contact www.frg.org.uk for more information on kinship carers.

Just a word of caution. My DS has been staying a various friends houses recently. Telling all the parents about all the horrible, terrible things I have been doing. None of which are true. I am sure they think we are bloody dreadful parents. Its very difficult.

But if you have personally witnessed their abuse/neglect etc that is different.

Good luck and well done.

Afraid we have seen the way they treat him and it's neglectful for most part.They have been telling people he is horrible and other things.We also have been on the recieving end
Apparently we are considered private fostering as we are not related just known them a long time.
Am just not sure what to expect as the sw says we will undergo all the same checks etc as any other foster carer and we were wondering if anyone can help us as to what checks and things we will undergo.

Fair enough. If you have seen it.

You dont have to be related to be considered as kinship carers. SS will prefer you to be private foster carers because it means much less work for them. I dont know your financial situation but if this is considered a private arrangement, social services do not have to support the placement financially.

I think there are also important implications for this young person when it comes to moving on. If he is not a Looked After Child (LAC)SS have no responsibility to support him with housing etc.

This is very important. As a young man with no family support how is he going to find somewhere to live? I am assuming you will not be able to give him a deposit for a flat? (That is not a sarcastic question, it may look like one but its genuine).

SS need to make their mind up about what you are. Are you foster carers or not? If you are, they need to support you, if you are not why are they getting involved.

Please get some good advice. Even if you are able to financially support this young man now, what happens when he becomes 18 and is on his own?

The checks are long and invasive. If they are seriously saying you have to have the same assessment as professional carers, they are long and invasive.

You will need to complete a long training course and undergo CRB checks plus find several referees. You will also have to complete a portfolio. You will have to have medical checks and some LAs insist on cervical and breast checks!

I am not trying to put you off, what you are doing is very important.

But please contact the organisation I have mentioned so you are fully aware of what you are doing.

To repeat - you do not need to be related to a child to be considered as a Kinship Carer some KC are childminders or neighbours). You will still need to be assessed (ours was very long as we went on to adopt) but there a few options to explore.

Please take it from someone who spent two years in a very complicated system.

Best of luck.

thanks for advice will look into it all.Things seem to go from bad to worse have had to deal with their latest game saying I'm keeping him from them spoke ss this morning and will be entitled to money as she wants to have him declared a looked after child so hopefully that will help.

Singing mum - I have 30 years experience as a sw and Fostering Tm Manager and am recently retired.

It is true that you don't have to be a relative to be approved as a kinship carer (It is actually known as relatives or friends) but it all depends on the basis on which this placement began. If you just decided that this boy could live with you and SS were not involved then they have no duty to assess you as kinship carers. This is only done when they are involved in making the placement and usually when care proceedings are in place. Did you have the consent of the boy's mother for him to stay with you, or maybe she just wasn't bothered.

The issue now is that SSD have a duty to regard this arrangement as private fostering (this is when a non relative looks after a child for a period of more than 28 days) and this is why the sw is concerned, as they can be deemed not to sticking to the law by allowing a situation like yours to continue without assessing you as a private foster carer. There are many of these situations and SSDs don't know about them and so nothing is done. The legislation about private fostering is like all legislation quite lengthy and yes you would have to be assessed. Is anyone paying you for the careof this boy?

As he is so near to 16 I wonder if it would not make more sense for you to be approved as supportive lodging providers for the boy, but I think SSD may well feel that they don't have to finance the arrangement because they did not actually place the boy with you, if you see what I mean.

It would not really be appropriate to approve you as kinship carers a) because SSD were not involved in making the placement (I am assuming this is the case?) and b) at almost 16 years of age it would not really be appropriate in any event.

Someone has made the point that the boy will not get after care support if he is not in the looked after system and this is true but unfortunately the SSD are not going to take a boy of almost 16 into the looked after system when he already is being cared for by you. You say his mother wants him "looked after" and yes she can ask that he is "accommodated" but the LA don't have to comply with her request.

I think you should maybe have looked into all this before agreeing to take the boy, although I have met many people like you, who are kind hearted and feel that the young person is getting a rough deal at home.

For info on kinship care, private fostering etc, look on the websites British Agencies for Fostering & Adoption (BAAF) and Fostering Network (the national organisation for fostering where there is a wealth of information.

Hope this matter gets sorted out for you and there is a good outcome for the young person in question.

thanks for the info.We were orig looking after the young lad for 2 weeks but his room was given away after a week they didn't let him have clothes and didn't once make effort to talk to him(the reason he was stasying was so they could talk without his 6 siblings involved due to probs).In over 4months his mum has only made an effort to see him on the estate we live on once and they don't even call to see if everything is ok.They are now accusing us of keeping him from them even though he's spent quite a lot of the last 4+months being made to go to see them(no quality time though they paid him to clear some junk etc out or help in their buisness so you can imagine that right now ss being involved is needed.
We are just holding out for his birthday as we are so fed up of the silliness of their behaviour

It seems clear that this lad's parents don't really have any genuine fondness of their son (after all if they did he would never have been with you in the first place would he) and yes these sort of parents often make all sorts of ridiculous accusations, which I think are best ignored. The parents must know they have a perfect right to have their son back to live with them, but they clearly don't want this. Incidentally what does the boy himself want - that is quite important.

The problem is as I said before because this arrangement was made without SSD involvement they are only really required to assess you as private foster carers and not offer any financial help to you and the boy, either now or in the future.

I suggest you ask the social worker to arrange and facilitate a meeting between you, the boy and his parents and try to come to some agreement, beause at the moment you are in a very difficult position and I can understand your frustration.

Incidentally what is your r/ship like with the boy and is the friendship still good between your son and this boy and what do you want to happen in the future. Sometimes these kind of arrangements can turn quite quickly and the young person moves out, either back to parents or to sleep on someone else's sofa!

I do hope you can get this sorted.