Age difference

[slipperandpjsmum]

Can anyone tell me what the expected age difference between birth children and foster children is according to local authority or private fostering agencies please.

Can't help, but I would like to know as well.

Hi Darcymum - I have looked on the Be my Parent website. That talks about spacing and order in the family. But still not really clear. I wonder if there is a bit of flexibility depending on the situation? Are you thinking of fostering? How old are your children?

Hi I've been told 2 years either above or below but some LA's seem to say 2 years below (for foster children)

i don't think there is a 'rule' as such it depends on each authority and how much they need you.
I had a child with me for three years that was 6 weeks older than my ds, and have one now thats 18months older than him.
You have to do whats best for your family.

Depends on the child. I have seen children placed with similar aged birth children. It's more about your family being right for the child and your time/ commitment

Are you looking at short/long term?

The children on be my parent are usually at the hard to place end of the spectrum.

We are very much at the thinking about it stage, although having said that its always been something we have thought about even before we had our own family. Prob short term but very open to advice!

There are no rules, it is very much down to your family dynamic and the childs in questions needs. The under 5's have some rules such as you have to be non smokers and your bedroom has to be on the same floor as the child. We have 3 boys (8,6 and 5 years)because we have an actic bedroom our aproval was for 5-16 years. Our first child was 16 years old and so approval was changed to 5-18 years so she could stay with us till she was 18 years. However we discovered that meeting the needs of such different ages was too difficult for everyone and so at our annual review this year we are requesting that our approval changes to 5-12 years. We are currently doing restpite for a 9 year old and it is wonderful the dynamic (although not without it's troubles) is far better and easier to manage.

The social workers along with your input will work out what age group will fit your familt best. The children's social workers will work out which family the chilren will fit into best. However what looks good on paper my not work in reality and what looks bad on paper may end up a great match you never know untill you do it. So you need to monitor it and keep on changing the approval if needed. It was recommended we take an older child but our placement with the 16 year old was awfull. The 9 year old we have now is in a no child placement and her social worker is in the process of marking her records as no other children should be in the home and should another placement fail the social worker has suggested residential care. However this little girl has stollen our hearts and has fitted right in with our family, so much so we are gutted that they have persuaded her current short term carer to reluctantly take her long term as we would of welcomed her long term.

Any way my point is think about what you think will work and why and discuss this with your social worker on a regular basis because you know where your strengths lay the the social workers want to use your strengths. They may have different views and try to get you to do different ages and you may want to listen and give it a try but don't be rail roaded in to trying something you really think will not work.

Hope that answers your question, but if there is anything else, I'd be happy to tell you more.

Hi Carrieboo.
If the 9 year old has fitted in and you are both happy will they not consider her staying with you?
I've not started fostering yet but am finding out as much as I can before I do!

We are trying to hint heavily at that!

Aah I see, hope it works out for you.