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Fostering

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

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Original poster

This time 23 years ago today........

24 replies

EarthMotherImNot · 30/07/2010 10:34

Dh and I were either sitting biting our nails or pacing up and down the living room, we took turns

Our social worker was putting our family forward as people she was recommending as foster carers and the panel was debating this very morning all those years/decades ago.

We were approved that morning and baby number 1 arrived the following day

I'm sitting this morning 23 years later with baby number 84 on my lap

I just wanted to mark the day

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montmartre · 30/07/2010 10:40

Wow! 23 years is a long time- many congratulations, and I take my hat off to you.

I could take a child in... but I don't think I'd be able to give them back.

Original poster

EarthMotherImNot · 30/07/2010 10:49

Thank you montmartre

To save my sanity I taught myself to think in terms of "letting them go" rather than "giving them back" it's such a tiny difference but it's worked for me (most of the time)

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montmartre · 30/07/2010 10:57

Still v v difficult though, particularly when you know the circumstances they are going back to- you have my admiration.

EightiesChick · 30/07/2010 10:59

Well done for so many years' hard work and love. Also taking my hat off to you.

CMOTdibbler · 30/07/2010 11:00

Congratulations ! You've changed 84 childrens lives for the better !

And how is baby84 doing ? Looking chubby and gorgeous ?

Original poster

EarthMotherImNot · 30/07/2010 11:26

Well I wouldn't say chubby, she is a very slow feeder still, but very gorgeous indeed.

She often sleeps for 3-4 hours at night now It has been slow 2 steps forward 3 back sort of progress for her but her smiles make the lack of sleep bearable

Curiously, she can't bear to be alone, as soon as we move from her line of sight she cries

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CMOTdibbler · 30/07/2010 12:33

Awww - 3-4 hours is a huge improvement on when she came to you. Who knows what sort of thing prenatal drug exposure on that scale (and I'm guessing alcohol too) will have done to her - hopefully your attentive and loving care will reset that though

HaveToWearHeels · 30/07/2010 12:38

oh bless you, you have made me cry. 84 little babies how wonderful, 84 little lives you have helped. As for the drug exposure, these mothers should be shot, if you can't turn your life around when you are pregnant there is no hope. Heres hoping no 84 goes on to a happier future.

bottersnike · 30/07/2010 12:59

that is an incredible achievement, 84 lives changed because of your love.
A very special day indeed.

Original poster

EarthMotherImNot · 30/07/2010 13:21

Thank you all It has flown over and it's difficult to imagine what all "our" lo's are doing now.

Some of them could be parents themselves now

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sumum · 30/07/2010 15:48

84 babies, well done, many congratulatons.

Does your authority give long service awards, perhaps you should hint(or get someone else to - even ring the paper, people love stories like this)

Pwsimerimew · 30/07/2010 15:50

Happy anniversary! Hope you celebrate tonight!

Original poster

EarthMotherImNot · 30/07/2010 16:55

Thanks again, we had a lunch with the lord mayor last year and carers who had long service were given vouchers which was lovely

I don't think it will be a regular event though, more that the mayor had recently been inaugurated and is a patron of our fostering service.

Celebrations will depend on little one having a good night, fingers crossed.

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LimaCharlie · 30/07/2010 17:03

Wow wow wow - what a difference you have made to those little lives. My cousins were in foster care prior to my aunt adopting them so I know how important an influence fps are in the lives of these DCs - thank you thank you thank you

FluffyDonkey · 30/07/2010 17:15

I think foster parents are amazing - on so many levels. One of my siblings is considering fostering and I am in awe.

Think your brilliant and am so happy that you get so much pleasure out of it.

Well done!

Original poster

EarthMotherImNot · 30/07/2010 17:26

I don't want to imply it's all fun and games, to be truthful, it can be bloody hard work and often heartbreaking but the "job satisfaction" is second to none

One of our "success stories" is a tiny 2 day old little boy who came from a dire family set-up and whose life would have been horrific had he not been "found" before he left hospital with his family.

He was with us for some time while court stuff was being sorted and then our eldest daughter and her husband fell in love with him and adopted him. I look at my now 11 year old grandson and thank god he came to us first

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cyteen · 30/07/2010 18:00

This thread has made me teary in the best way Massive respect to you and your family EarthMother; my MIL was a foster parent while DP was growing up and I know they all found it a rewarding experience, not just the kids.

Fostering is something I think I might like to do, but I'm not sure if I would be capable enough. Was it scary in the beginning?

Original poster

EarthMotherImNot · 31/07/2010 10:00

hi cyteen, thank you

In answer to your question, yes it was, actually in a lot of ways it still is. The responsibility of looking after someone elses child is awesome. The inference is that you are "better" than their parents when in fact you have no idea how you would cope in their circumstances.

I often think "there but for the grace of god"

Many of the families I've worked with over the years have had horrific childhoods themselves and it becomes a cycle they can't, or don't know how to, break.

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caz2go · 31/07/2010 10:57

Well done thats fantastic !! ,we,ve only just started fostering doing respite this weekend for a little girl,with a view to long term placement.
I think its the best thing in the world and if we can make a difference to 1 child I will be happy .
I bet you have had ups and downs over the years and you,ve stayed with it ,you are a great example .x

Original poster

EarthMotherImNot · 31/07/2010 11:49

Thanks caz, good luck with your respite weekend

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Minnerva · 31/07/2010 18:12

EMIN
sorry I came late to this post I have been very busy with the 3 year old that arrived 10 days ago and not much chance to log on!.

I am sending you a huge bunch of gerberas and a large box of montezuma's choccies accompanied by a warm and friendly hug-not only have you made the lives of those children better you are a huge help and inspiration to us newbies on here.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

compo · 31/07/2010 18:16

It's something we've thought about doing when our kids are 18 and hopefully leaving home ;)
is there an age limit?

Original poster

EarthMotherImNot · 01/08/2010 07:11

Hi Minnerva and thank you I feel like I should curtsey or something

Wow a three year old, big difference from a newborn eh?

In the far off days when we used to take any age we once had a lo who was around 3 and one of the saddest sights was him trying to bite through an unpeeled banana and holding an ice cream cornet looking at us as if to say "what is it"

He'd never seen those things before

I think it was children like him who gave our Dc's an insight into what life could be like for other children.

Good luck with your new lo, let us know how it's going when you get a moment

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Original poster

EarthMotherImNot · 01/08/2010 07:15

Hi compo, I'm not sure if there is an age limit, Dh and I were in our 30's when we started but I had a shared placement years ago with a new carer who had started in her 50's.

You could ring your local authority social fostering service and ask. Good luck

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