Meeting the short term foster carers .

[caz2go]

Hi ,we have now been matched with a little girl age 9 to permanently foster ,she is coming to us in september .
We are off to meet her short term foster carers tomorrow ,( we have not met the child yet ).
I say short term carers but she has been with them 18 mnths and is very settled there .I think this meeting is more for information sharing ,as all we know about the child is what the social workers have told us and what we have read about her .
Has anyone any experience of these meetings ? I,m getting a bit nervous now.
Thankyou Caz

good luck tomorrow, the meeting will probably be to talk about the little girl as a real person as opposed to words on the paper iyswim.

Don't worry you will be hearing first hand what she is like to live with and her likes and dislikes.

Perhasps you could write a list of questions to prompt yourself.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Hi caz, we are short term foster parents and we've done quite a few of these initial visits.

Will the social worker, yours or the childs, be there too?

I ask this because it is usually better if they aren't, makes it less official in my opinion.

I second the list of questions because you will be, understandably nervous and will forget what you want to ask until you get home.

18 months is a long time and her carers will have a wealth of information they can share with you.

Good luck

Hi Caz

Just wondering how the meeting went?.

MInnerva x

The meetings today ,so will let you know how we go on .
we,ve written a list of questions to ask now
so thanks for the advice.
The girls social worker and our social worker are both going to be there ,which is a shame really as I would have been more relaxed if they wasnt.
Anyway off to choose what to wear (casual? ,smart? how hard is it !)
speak soon Caz x

Hi ,just to say yesterday went really well and much more relaxed than i thought it would be .
We did get a chance to speak to the short term carer for a while on our own which was good ,and all our questions have been answered .
The little girl will be coming for respite every 3 weeks untill september when she comes to us permanently ,she has been told she is leaving her present placement but at the moment doesnt know she is coming to us to stay and thinks we are her new respite carers .This is a good way of getting to know each other.
Matching panel is in september so unfortunatly she will not be with us in time to start her new school at the beginning of term and will start mid september .
The meeting got quite emotional at times and I really felt for her carer who has formed really strong bond with the child .
They have helped the child greatly and We hope to continue the work they have done helping the child grow in confidence and feeling loved and secure .
We meet the child this weekend so cant wait for that.
What a emotional rollercoaster journey this fostering is and we,ve not even started yet !! .
luv Caz x

Glad it went well caz You sound lovely and I hope it goes well for you.

Good luck for the weekend x

I've not been involved in anything to do with fostering, but surely starting a 9 year old a few weeks late in school is extremely disrupting and should be avoided at all costs. I know that it would be upsetting and disruptive if it were my dd who has lived in the same family with me and dh her loving parents all her life. If you have a child that has switched homes multiple times in her short little life and is now switching once more from a family that she has grown attached to, wouldn't it be worth trying to rearrange things just slightly so she can be at he school for the first few weeks when friends are made and patterns established. She probably has enough unavoidable emotional turbulence to overcome without adding something else that could maybe be avoided.
Well done to you by the way for giving your love to a child who needs it.

We did argue the point you are making about starting new schools but unfortunatly the next matching panel is in sept .
I have been to visit the school and have explained the situation with them ,they are happy for me to accompany the child for a couple of days .
We are just providing respite care for the little girl untill after matching panel when it will all be finalised (hopefully ).
All we can do is give the child all the support and security and hopefully ease the transition the best we can ..not ideal we know .
Caz

I wouldn't worry about the school- she will be joining an established class so whether she starts at the beginning of term or a few weeks in should make no difference. I wonder if it would actually be easier starting late as the initial excitement of the children seeing their friends again will have passed.

Good luck!

I agree it's not such a bad thing coming in a couple of weeks after the term starts, the class will have settled down and any little probs ironed out so the teacher can concentrate on her.

She will also do well if you are supporting her in school which you are obviuosly going to do.

These things are always wrapped up in red tape so you have to do the best you can in the circumstances.

You sound like you have evrything under conrol and are going to provide a fab home for her.

Good luck.