we are considering MQ- what do i need to know

[booyhoo]

we live in northern ireland, OH cuurently at collingwood. he has been finding it increasingly difficult being separated and now that i no longer have a job here it seems the best time to make the move. we have two dses aged 4 and 1. i am due to take my pre reg course for CMing in oct but could easily do that in england if we move. ds1 is dues to start primary in sept.

tbh i dont know what i need to know. can anyone give me a bit of insight into life in MQ? schools? good areas? i have never lived outside of my home town. all my family is here so this will be a bit of a wrench if we do go. also a bit worried how ds1 will feel about leaving all his friends and family.

the kids seem to settle very quickly.
you will have neighbours around you that can help and know how you feel.
if something goes wrong with the house you just phone up and it gets repaired without any cost to you.
never lived in quarters in portsmouth so don't know what they are like or schools. you can get in touch with the HIVE and they will be able to give you lots of information.
are you married? if not there might be some difficulity in getting a quarter.
get OH to look around patches and ask his work mates. they should be able to help.

is this useful?

HIVE details for you

It depends on what you can cope with and what you want as a family.
we can't live apart any longer and so we're moving back into MQs next summer, once DH has finished his course. Some families though find that they need family support rather than forces support and couldn't live away from family and friends they don't want to leave. Your dcs are only little and so will make new friends.
If you are going to move this summer, you'll need to ask your DH to get forms from the RAO (Navyt equiv) to complete asking for an MQ and then shipping forms for moving.

we aren't married,we know this will make it more difficult to get MQ we are hoping the fact that we are living so far apart at the minute and have dcs will be in our favour. we talked more indepth about it last night so i have asked him to find out about good areas, schools etc from his married friends.

i am quite concerned about how i will settle. i am very much a homebird and i like to be within my comfort zone so it will take some getting used to. but i am willing to give it a good try. it really has been hard for OH and i have nothing really tying me here apart from my immediate family. i only have a few close friends. we had talked about it when i was visiting him last month and he decided it was too big a thing to ask of me and the boys but it came up again over the weekend so i know he really would love to be with us.

AFAIK, you won't be allocated a quarter if you're not married, end of.

At the end of the day, your oh/dh and kids are your first priority and your wider family second. They can always visit you but you can never get back the years apart whislt the dcs are so little.

Lucie's right, Married Quarters are for married personnel - plain and simple. There is quite a lot of pressure in quarters in some areas where there aren't enough quarters for those that are married, so it will be hard to see how the DE can justify giving you and your family a quarter when there might be other families still waiting on a place.

There have been numerous campaigns etc over the years to change the rules regarding co-habiting couples/families and their right to military housing but every time it's been decided that it would be too hard to administer.

After all, where does one decide when a relationship is serious enough to warrant granting a quarter? When the couple concerned have children? When they've been together a certain amount of time? Put quite simply, the existence of a certificate of marriage/civil partnership is a simple and clear line to draw between those entitled to a quarter and those not entitled to a quarter.

I reckon the only way in which you'd be allowed an MQ without being married is if your DH is entitled to an MQ as a single guy (eg, he's a padre and there are no mess rooms) This would be rarely heard of though.

Would privately renting for a year to trial it be an option?

Found a few bits for you:

From JSP 464. Chapter 3 is the bit you need.

Entitlement criteria. To be entitled to SFA Service personnel must be:
a.
Aged 18 or over, have completed initial training and be serving on a regular engagement with the UK Armed Forces, or be a Full Commitment (FC) Reservist as defined in single Service instructions. For those personnel under 18 years of age the parent unit must accept responsibility for their behaviour until the 18th birthday.
b.
In Personal status category (PStatCat) 1 (See footnote1), 1C, 1S or 2 as defined in Appendix 1 to Annex D to Chapter 1.
c.
Have at least 6 months to serve at the station where they qualify for SFA.

You can see the definitions of PStatCat here

Basically the main bit is:

(1) A legally married member of the Armed Forces, who lives with their spouse, or who would do so but for the exigencies of the Armed Forces.
(2) A member of the Armed Forces, who is registered in a civil partnership in accordance with the Civil Partnership Act 2004, or is in a civil partnership under an overseas scheme recognised under that Act, and who lives with their registered civil partner, or who would do so but for the exigencies of the Armed Forces.

Your OH could get SFA for him and the children if he had custody of them, but you couldn't live there with him.

Lucie's right... if your OH could become one of these categories he'd be fine

a.
Officers of OF3 rank and above serving in appointments designated as being In Command which is defined as being able to exercise Command Powers of Punishment in accordance with the relevant single Service Discipline Act. Exceptions are to be staffed through appropriate Housing Colonel as casework.
b.
RAF OF4 Station Executive appointments.
c.
Regimental Sergeant Majors of major regular Army units or RAF Station Warrant Officers.
d.
Service Chaplains undertaking a pastoral responsibility at Unit level.
e.
Serving Army Welfare Workers and serving NPFS personnel.
f.
Gurkha Religious Teachers!!!

Although, for those categories FourArms mentions you still wouldn't be allowed to live there with him as the entitlement to a quarter would only be for him - not for you or the children.

thanks ladies, well that clears that up. at least we know so we can get on to looking for private rentals.

does anybody know of any of teh primary schools in around portsmouth? i am thinking that it would be nigh on impossible to get ds1 into a school in sept?

This late in the day, you'd probably need to ring these people and have a chat.

There will be a place for him somewhere, just depends whether or not it's a school you'd like him to go to. There is some guidance on getting school places for Forces Children, but I'm not sure if you have to be moving to SFA/be married for it to be enacted. I can find out if you like?

Is he Navy? The NFF are based in Portsmouth and are very helpful.

yep he's navy. could you find that out for me please fourarms? that would be great.

Are you catholic? If yes, then I could ask my friend as her little girl goes to a really lovely catholic school in Portmouth.
If not, then I don't any.

Some info here

and here

and on the NFF website.

Hope some of that helps!

yes we are catholic.

thanks fourarms, i shall get myself acquainted with nff website.

wouold you like me to ask my mate the name of the RC school?

oh, sorry, yes please lucie that would be great.

have text her so will let you know when she replies

thanks lucie.

this is all very strange. trying to find a school and home in a place i know nothing about and only know OH.

Okay - it's St Antony's in Tichfield, Fareham but they live 20 mins from Portmouth. She said there are two other RC schools actually in PM.
here

Hope this helps.
They lvoe the school and say it's got a real warm, family atmosphere.

Try to see it as exciting though - an adventure. That's how we see all of our postings and I always really enjoy exploring the new area. Lots of my family have never lived in another county than where they live now but I'm glad I moved away and travelled with DH- we've seen so much of the UK and germany I probably wouldn't have seen otherwise.

lucie that's great, thank you.

i am trying. i have been thinking to myslef lately how small my world is. i literally never travel outside my own town other than to go 10 miles out to my mums on a sunday. i know there is so much more to life and i do feel as if the timing is right with me being out of work and ds not having started school yet. there really isn't anything, apart from close family tying us here. my main concerns are how ds1 will react to the news, he already knows all his classmates from pre-school, they are all going to the same primary. and he has met his new teachers twice and had an induction day. i am worried that he will be very angry about being told he wont be going there afterall. i feel as though i am dissappointing him. and also obviously how i will settle, as i said before i am a creature of habit but i do think it is time i shook things up abit and saw abit more of teh world. also, i know if we really hate being away from family then we can always come back.

ST Judes is a RC school and is fairly near the MQ in Fareham, I live near there and there area is fairly nice area (although not in MQ's)