Has anyone planned to get pregnant right before a 6 month deployment?

[SandyChick]

Would like to hear of anyones experiences if they have

we have a 3 yr old ds and are wanting to have another. Dh deploys in march 2011 for 6 months. We had thought we'd wait until he comes back or maybe try on his r&r but because he'll get so much time off when he comes back (he'll return in sept and won't go back to work til new year) he would definitely be around for the birth etc as I would possibly be 7 ish months pregnant by then. Plus he'd have all of that years leave and paternity leave to take.

We were in mq's when I was pregnant with ds and dh was doing a language so no deployments. Now we live in our own home and dh weekends. If we waited until after the deployment he'd only be home on weekends anyway at best.

We did. I was 10 wks when he went out, and now 35 wks and he's just back (tour was 5 months rather than 6, but no R&R).

We're not in MQs either, and I don't think it's made a difference - while he was away I had support from my local friends and made sure I went to stay with my parents periodically to give me a break from looking after DD.

It hasn't been easy with a 2yr old DD as there have been times when I've just been knackered and DH hasn't been here to take the strain. But as you've pointed out, he's now on 4 weeks post-op leave, should get full paternity leave and then annual summer leave as well so these final weeks have back have been worth the wait.

My pregnancy has been fairly straightforward though; I know others who have done the same and had a difficult time and found it very tough without their DH.

Good luck with whatever you decide .

I've just done it, was very early pregnant when he left and he got back at 39 weeks, wasn't planned though.

Worked well for us, I coped better without having him around tbh, even with a 4yo and 2yo to look after. He had 8 weeks off when he came home (just gone back to work now) which was nice.

The deployment seemed to go much quicker too as I wasn't just counting down to him coming home but also to the birth of DD2.

Good luck!

It happens when it happens...I got pregnant and cue dh away at sea for most of it, including the birth.

We did - he had a huge exercise in Oman and he left when I was wihtout a bump and came back and I had a big bump! He got back in the september and I gave birth in the start of jan. So although it wasn't 6 months, we were quite upset he missed the 2nd scan. I think he just made the 12 week one.
It was hard but I wrote blueys to him, telling him the progress etc. better that than being away with a newborn!

Thanks everyone. It's nice to hear from people who have a 'military' life style.

I couldn't imagine doing it that way if it was our first baby but actually apart from scans there's not really alot to miss in the first 6 months.

Ds will be starting school full time so my days will be mine to rest etc plus I'm used to doing everything myself now during the week so it would only really be the weekends that will be different but my parents only live literally 2 minutes away.

My main concern is worrying about dh as he's going to afghan. It scares me to think about it and its ages away yet. Wouldn't want to be stressed and pregnant too.

I wouldn't, tbh, in case things go wrong. I know they don't for most people, but I had three totally trouble free pregnancies and then my last pregnancy turned out to be twins and went horribly wrong when my waters broke at 14 weeks. I was on bedrest from then on, until I got bi-lateral pulmonary embolisms and had to stop the complete bedrest. It all ended dreadfully.

Had my husband been away he would have had to come home, which would have put an immense strain on him as he would have felt guilty about leaving his colleagues, plus regardless of what the ysay, it would have had an effect on his career.

He is going to Afghan again in October 2011 and we are hoping to concieve in the next few months so I have the baby a bit before he goes. If I don't, hard as it may be, we will wait until he gets back.

This is one of my big questions.

DH (RAF) and I were planning on TTC our first from September this year, but last week he was told he is likely to be pinged to Afghan in February for 6 months.

I can (just about) deal with him not being here for the pregnancy, scans etc (we only see each other at weekends as it is) but the thought of giving birth without him is very scary!

We are now having to decide whether we carry on as planned or postpone for a few months in the hope that I will fall pregnant very quickly just before he goes away.

I'm also giving thought to getting a birthing doula in the event that he is not here, says the woman who is not even pregnant yet .
Has anyone else had experience of this?

Posting from phone so excuse typos etc. Not planned but we did this and if it hadn't been for mn I would have gone crazy.

Dh went away when I was 10 weeks and was due back around my due date. I had rotten pg and was hospitalised at 5 months. Regt were terrible and wouldn't let dh come back, I spent 3 months in a german hospital, almost died a couple of times, and in the end he only returned when my doc threatened to go to The Sun!

I was in the best place, fab care but seriously lonely scared and stressed. If your dh regt is a 'good one' the n you should be ok, but if you or dh have any doubts then I wouldn't.

In the end he got back on the fri and I was induced on the tue, 5 weeks early. Because he came back early Regt wouldn't let him have the full leave he was due so was back on camp within 2 weeks when dd was still in ICU.

We hate the Regt for this and it coloured our feelings just as dh was winding done for 22 years, so much so that when offered commission he told them to stick it up their ass! (no really, those exact words!)