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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

to move or not to move?

61 replies

luciemule · 21/05/2010 13:35

Hi - have kind of asked a similar thing before but this is different in that Dhs circumstances have changed.
Basicaly, we've been living in our own house for over a year and dh has been weekend commuting.
Having been selected for promotion, he could possibly/hopefully be loaded onto a course from september until next June/July.
We are having huge problems with DD (8) at the moment (calling me fat pig/wish you'd die etc) and when I asked why she behaves like this towards me, her reply is that all she wants is to live with daddy again.
If he got onto the course though, it would mean moving from here in the summer, where she's made somoe nice friends, and then moving again next summer somewhere else.
Dh thinks it's unnecessary but I just don't like seeing dd behave in this way. She was quite angelic until we moved here and now seems to point all of her anger at me as I'm the only one here. At weekends she's fine as DH is home so he doesn't get to see what she's like without him here. I'm just not sure what to do.

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scaryteacher · 21/05/2010 15:02

If his course is ACSC, then stay where you are as it is very intensive. Dh was a DO on the course for his first job as a Cdr, and he taught the ASCS, wrote some of it, did his MA, worked on the HCSC and could not have done it had we been there. There were several nights when he hadn't rung and I called his office at 0100 to find him still working, having had a short break for dinner. Weekending meant he could work as long as necessary during the week, and chill at home at the weekend.

Added to that, is it worth uprooting your daughter for a year? It might be OK if she was younger, but she may find two new schools in a year alarming. Might be better to stay where you are and then sort out a move depending on where he gets posted next.

Was the promotion to Major or Lt -Col?

hf128219 · 21/05/2010 15:07

Must be Pink List - was out on Wednesday!

Scarey - I am going to Brussels next weekend. How's the weather?

hf128219 · 21/05/2010 15:08

Sorry - in answer to your question - I would stay put.

scaryteacher · 21/05/2010 15:14

Fab at the moment - warm and everything is a lovely shade of green. However, you can have 4 seasons in one day here, so bring a mac. It was 5 degrees last week, so be warned! What are you coming for? Just looked and a high of 17 is forecast for 29/30th.

I am going to London next weekend for a GCSE marking meeting.

What's the pink list? We don't have that in the Navy; just the promotion signal.

hf128219 · 21/05/2010 15:17

The Pink List is Major to Lt Col promotions.

Ah so I won't bump into you next weekend. We are going to stay with friends (Army) who are based there.

Also some other very good friends are moving there in the summer!

scaryteacher · 21/05/2010 16:28

Depending on if they are EUMS or not they may know dh.

Original poster
luciemule · 21/05/2010 16:56

thanks guys - yes, it was the pink list - he's well chuffed as it was his 'first look'.
From what you say scary, it sounds as though we might not be eating tea together every night at 6 then .

That solves the prob for me. The kids are desperate to see him every night after school so maybe staying here is the only option then.

OP posts:
Original poster
luciemule · 21/05/2010 16:58

yes - it would be ACSC.

OP posts:
Raksha · 21/05/2010 17:03

noooo, go go go. the school is lovely and there's a good private one down the road, or the one in the village... lots of choice!

you might/ might not see him very much, but honestly i would go, particularly if dd is feeling the stress of weekly commute. at least she would know that daddy was at work down the road (or egypt, or... anyway )

no, you must go. i insist.

if you are looking for, er, an involved community, then you'll have a great time, too. reasonably easy to get into London as well, so some mummies do the commute.

hf128219 · 21/05/2010 17:03

That's good news! I know a few disappointed people though. My dh was also 'first look' but a couple of years ago now.

And a pay increase of note!

Original poster
luciemule · 21/05/2010 17:05

forgot to say, we have spent a year there for ICSC, which was fab but I knew lots of friends there already. I'll one person funnily enough from the civvie place where we live now.

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Raksha · 21/05/2010 17:09

lovely lovely walks/ runs/ dog walks in the woods. fab brownies in one of the local villages...

the only downside is swindon really, and you can just stop at sainsburys - no need to go any further.

lovely dance class in the village hall - they put on an annual show in the theatre in swindon...

Raksha · 21/05/2010 17:10

lol, i'll be quiet now then - no point banging on

Original poster
luciemule · 21/05/2010 17:12

yes - I used to 'live' at sainsburys and dunelm mill when dd was a tot.

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hf128219 · 21/05/2010 17:17

Scary - I am not sure 'what' our friends are but will find out!

scaryteacher · 21/05/2010 17:27

Let me know hf ; it's quite small out here, and he goes back to the other place very soon.

scaryteacher · 21/05/2010 17:28

Dinner at 1800? You jest!

hf128219 · 21/05/2010 17:29

Scary - will do! The friends who are moving out in the summer are very close to us and we will visit them a fair bit. She is sending her dd to the International School.

Original poster
luciemule · 22/05/2010 12:41

DH took DD for an ice cream this monrning and came home surprised that she had said she wants to move wherever he's posted, as a family and she'll cope with leaving old friends and making new ones.
For DS, it's not as important as he's only in reception and hasn't made firm friends as yet anyway.
Think DH has now realised that the kids don't want to live with him away in the week.

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scaryteacher · 22/05/2010 12:42

Which one? ISB? Doesn't she like BSB?

If he dd needs to slot back into the UK system, then BSB does IGCSEs/GCSEs; ISB does an IB. I think it's middle for diddle on which is the better school. A Canadian friend of mine had her dd at BSB for KS4, but moved her for sixth form as I think ISB has a more proven track record for IB, and this lass may well go back to Canada for Uni as her brother has done.

StrictlyTory · 22/05/2010 21:25

OMG! Just as I leave Shrivenhell someone comes! I would say I've already told DH when he makes Major we're not coming back... It's reeeeeaaaaalllly boring but maybe a lot of my problem is for the last year DH has been away Mon-Fri which has been hard, plus the house is falling down

Original poster
luciemule · 23/05/2010 08:20

strictly - did you see my post to you saying we weren't allowed to go to Fally, liked we'd asked? We were really upset however, promotion is obviously better!
Sorry you thought it boring - it could do with an ice cream parlour don't you think?
It will be different from when DH was on ICSCL as I had a toddler and pregant/newborn there and now they'er both at school but I'm sure I'll find something to do. Thought that I might still doula/breast feeding support in the jubilee centre. Anyway = it's not a cert we're going but more than likely as glasgow want him to go.When do you leave strictly - it would be lovely to say hi before you go - think we'd move after kids break up in July.Goodness knows where we'd live. We'd actually prefer a major's quarter in roman road - cheaper and practical and ran by pfi, not DE!

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StrictlyTory · 23/05/2010 12:59

Oh lord yes, Roman Walk all the way! The quarters there are just so clean and well finished. We leave 1st of July now, I bet as we close the door the hovel will actually fall down.. I'll make them sign to say it's fine really quickly and then run to the car

Ice cream parlour improves everything IMO I would love to go to Glasgow when DH promotes, 2 of my best friends are from there and the shops are great, there is so much to do and a lot of Glasgow is actually really beautiful. It's so wrong that people get to sit in lovely Glasgow and order people to the most God-awful places

Original poster
luciemule · 23/05/2010 13:03

will miss saying then as we'll finish the school term before moving - that's as long as he gets the course.
Good luck with your move - essex/suffolk are beautiful and haviing the zoo so close by is fab. And so close to London too - fab!

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StrictlyTory · 23/05/2010 13:05

Oh that's a shame

Try and get a house on Barrington Av if you can't get Roman Walk, there is one right one the corner that looks amazing! I saw it as we moved it and thought to myself 'this is going to be fine!'.... then we turned left and I saw the hovel

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