DH will be home from an 8 month deployment when I'm 39 weeks pregnant...

[Wisenheimer]

It's going to be hell isn't it?!

We've never done such a long deployment, how do I get him back into home life and settling down with the other 2 DC (and then a week or so later a newborn) without hormonal screaming?

Survival tips please!

it wont be hell! Think of the positives, what great timing to get back just when you need him most! With two DCs already under your parental belt, I am sure he remembers the post natal hormonal freakery.

You wont have to get him into home life he will have to just get on with it as your baby is imminent. Relax dont pressurise yourself, give your self permission to be hormonal, after 9 months pregancy with 2 Dcs and DH away you've earned it!!

If you think you've gone over the top just say sorry and blame your hormones.

Good luck and have fun.

Go with the flow...dont be too hard on yourself or hubby...he will take time to adjust but will soon get in the swing of kids, etc. And you will take time to adjust too.... He can take the big kids out to the park to give you a break which you so dearly need i suspect. Tell him how wonderful and helpful he is as soon as he does stuff ..keep him motivated and feeling he is in your good books....he will then be happy to do more which is just what you need.
Try to let him know how concerned you are about you both adjusting and that you really want it to be a good time for all involved. Maybe express your concern that you are worried it may be stressful...which at times its bound to be with 3 kids. Once you get into the swing of him being back then maybe ask him what jobs he will do to help out with kids. Like hoovering, cooking, washing or dressing and bathing kids.. At least then he will know its his 'job' and get on with it..without being asked.
Try to get a sitter in when possible and go out for a meal so you can have important grown up time together, without kids screaming.
Lots of luck, fingers X baby arrives on due date and not early !! XX

Wisen, I've been there. Found out I was pregnant with no. 3, 3 weeks after DH left for Iraq and he got back 3 weeks before (all 3 kids where upto 3 weeks early) due date. We had about 1 1/2 ater he got back before ds3 was born. We coped by trying to make some time for us in that week and a half and then for the next few months after the birth just concentrated on the kids putting us aside for the time being. It was great him having his long leave just as ds3 was born as it gave me the chance to concentrate on baby and him the chance to bond with the 1 year old and 3 year old. Once past the first few months we then started getting babysiters and put more effort in to us. It did take a long time to get back on track as a couple but the kids sailed through it. The biggest advice is keep talking, be prepared it will take time and remember not to beat yourself up over it as the more you relax and go with the flow the quicker it goes back to normal.

Oh and it was the best pregnancy of all as I could go to bed nice and early and there wasn't an extra person to cook for, clean up after etc. .

Feel free to ask any questions you want as I guess it is a fairly unique situation to be in.

Thanks all.

he's got 2 months off when he gets home (April) so that will be helpful. I'm more worried about how the kids will cope ATM, DD hardly knows him, he's been away for most of her 2 years and now she'll have to deal with him home and a sibling. DS isn't too bad he's older so understands more.

Feels like I haven't seen him for years!

Mine where just 6 months and 2 1/2 years when dh went, so where about 1 year 4 months and 3 years 4 months went he got back. Ds1 sulked for a few days when dh got back, he couldn't work out if he was happy or cross, but he quickly got over it. Ds2 was scared of dh and had no idea who he was but he saw his older brother interacting and so wanted to join in. It took longer for ds2 to get used to dh as he had become a real mummy's boy but he still got there fairly quickly. The arrival of ds3 was never a problem for the boys were both over the moon when ds3 arrived, they used to pull him around the house in his moses basket and make tents over him and climb in too if he was under his play gym. Children are so adaptable they get used to new situations so quickly.