come tell me what i'm letting myself in for?

[DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE]

have met a lovely bloke.

he's kiwi, based(is that right term) in germany.

spends his leave near where i live. always has done in the 8 yr he's been in army as he likes the city. has friends here.

i can go out to germany for wkd once a month between his visits back here.

i have 2 toddler dc. so in no hurry to dive in till i'm sure he's not axe murderer for keeps

anyone been in a similar situation?

and i have absolutely no idea how it would work and what the options are for us if we were to be serious further down the line?

he likes the army life. but says he would like to a have a "normal" life and be more settled in the long term future. admits he has no idea what he would do when he leaves as has been in army in NZ before he came here. so hasn't known anything else other than that. so at present he's just sticking with it as its a job that he does enjoy and it's no exactly the best time to be quitting your job and looking for another is it?

dh and i commuted between countries for 8 years before we gave up and got married. it's not easy lol. obv further down the line if you got married then you could trail the world with him (except for deployments etc etc) but really, you need to see how things go over the next while... men in the army are just as various as all other blokes lol, with the added issue of not ever being control of their own lives/ decisions... so you need to see how that goes - nothing more frustrating than having weekend/ christmas leave cancelled at a day's notice, or him announcing he has to go on a course for 3 months, etc etc. there are of course benefits, but that mostly depends on how serious you get, and if you can get over the first few hurdles and negotiate a distance relationship...

madwoman - thanks for the reply. wow !! 8 yrs of commute. did you commute every wkd? or less?