"it is a different story if the partner/wife wants to continue or build a career, i wonder if marrying into the forces is such a good idea if that is indeed the case?"
I see your point but I think there might be a generational thing going on here. I don't know how old you are but if you're in your late twenties (for example) then you have to remember that it was far more common twenty/thirty/forty years ago for women not to have the kind of career opportunities that we have now.
My mother gave up work when her first child was born and only ever went back part-time when her youngest was in secondary school. She certainly didn't have a "career" in the way we think of it now. She wasn't a Forces wife but her circumstances would have meant that she would have done the same as your mother and moved around with her husband.
It is a mistake to judge the wives/mothers/women of today by the standards of a different generation. I had more choices than my mother - I went to Uni, where I met my husband, and am educated to postgraduate level. Should I have to lay all that aside just because my husband is in a mobile profession? A rhetorical question, really, because I did "follow the drum" until children came and have not ruled out the possibility of doing so again but there is no doubt that my degrees are now valueless apart from the intrinsic value of showing that I capable of learning/studying at a higher level. My point is that, despite my choice to move with my husband, I understand why some women don't want to move around.
"There seem to be more options for forces couples at this time, which of course will suit some and not others, but IMHO if you marry into the forces shouldn't you just accept the life for what it has to offer? "
With the greatest of respect and recognising that it is not a redundant question, your view on this is retrospective. You saw Forces life as a child, not as a wife, your views on what wives should do are secondhand as they are based on your mother's positive experience. I am not doubting that your mother loved Forces life at all - many families and wives do - but my point is that life has moved on somewhat and women's attitudes and expectations have changed in response to increased opportunites in life.
Obviously, if you are a Forces wife (and apologies if I've missed that!) then your experience is as current and as valid as my own.
"Did you not get any of the school fees paid by the force you were with at the time Scarey? Navy?"
I could be wrong buy scarey's children were in day schools - the AF CEA only covers boarding schools and only if you're living in quarters.
"but perhaps you need to create your own experience, we all do things we don't like doing, we all HAVE to DO things we don't like doing, but its how we deal with those things and how we can produce the positive effect from something that is deemed negative that counts "
A fair point but please remember that what is positive for one person may be negative for another. Perhaps I should have moved with my husband in his current job - give up the drugs that I'm on that keep me from fainting several times a day, allow me to drive and mean that I can look after my two small children without running myself into the ground? Sure, I don't like passing out a lot but "...we all HAVE to DO things we don't like doing...", eh?
It's not about doing things we don't like, it's about making decisions that benefit our families and marriages - whether that be to weekly/fortnightly commute or to shift from post to post every two years or a combination thereof.