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6 replies

WeatherWitch · 21/01/2010 14:24

Nothing at all that can be done about any of this but am COMPLETELY fed up with RN attitude and just needed a good whinge about it. In the last 7 years I've given my entire life over to the Navy, haven't complained when recalled from my father's funeral to deploy (ashes stayed on a shelf at the undertaker's for 5 months because they wouldn't give me leave to pick them up)or when refused compassionate leave when my stepfather was in hospital, or when DH2B and I haven't had any leave together in 3 years (and in fact only spent 30 nights together last year), or about any of the 4 holidays I've cancelled in the last 3 years, or about being sent to sea the ONLY weekend that DH2B is alongside between now and April, or when officially told (not in writing, funnily enough!) that there was no point trying to get married while in my previous appointment as they wouldn't guarantee me even one day off... And now, having planned the wedding over a year ago to fit in with our careers, cleared it with everyone everywhere even remotely related to either of our jobs, suddenly I find myself having to grovel to the Cdr to get time off for it because apparently they're suddenly going to be too busy to spare me - from a job that was gapped for 2 years! It's driving me mad... It's like being in a relationship with someone that you love and would never leave but who just keeps letting you down. DH2B is leaving at the 16 year point but that's still 8 years away, and I don't even want to consider what it'll be like when we have a family.

Okay, rant over, feeling better now

OP posts:
WeatherWitch · 21/01/2010 14:27

And now I'm being incompetent and posting the same thing twice! Aaargh, they've sapped my brain as well...

OP posts:
carrieboo75 · 21/01/2010 14:42

It is frustrating, but unfortunatly as you say nothing can be done it comes with the job . DH is army and I can't imagine how couples function when both are services. I think what generally happens is one or both leave (whether that be the relationship or the job!). I really hope you get it sorted and you get to enjoy your wedding day.

lemonadesparkle · 21/01/2010 14:43

Good old RN - would love to give you hope for the future but right now am failing to find any myself after the realisation hit last night that ds will never have had his daddy home for more than 3months (and not in a block) in a single year of his 6yrs (and counting) of life . I think the term 'dippers shippers' pretty much sums up the life for anyone connected to it or at least those who actually go out and do their job instead of basing their career on welfare

Sorry for you, hope your rant helped

scaryteacher · 21/01/2010 14:46

You don't grovel to Cdrs; I have one who makes my tea in the morning!

Now breathe. Presumably, being a smart lady you got permission to marry on that date, and in writing? They know about it, if the job was gapped for two years, they can cope without you. Your leave will undoubtedly have been booked for this and on the leave plot for a long while. Advise the Cdr, whilst smiling sweetly, and imagining him on the loo with his trousers round his ankles reading the Telegraph (makes him seem more human), that this has been arranged for a long time; explain with whom it has been arranged, and intimate that you will go over his head. and also go to your D.O. and explain, or your HoD.

Cdrs are only human (believe me!) and once this Cdr would have been a junior officer trying to arrange to get married as well.

What branch is said Cdr in?

WeatherWitch · 21/01/2010 15:49

Cdr was actually absolutely lovely about it and no significant grovelling or even explanation required as he was already working on a solution. Basically there had been something of a comms chain collapse (I'm working somewhere else at the moment)and everyone had forgotten I was getting married, and quite understandably nobody further down the food chain wanted to sign off on stitching someone else up to cover for me.

Having looked at their plot they are actually incredibly busy during that period and fairly short of experienced Lts so I can see their point! However, he was really keen to get everything sorted out for me and has come up with a plan... Won't be confirmed until next week, but it was very nice to have reassurance that selling your soul to the RN does buy you a little bit of credit occasionally! Normal status of being in love with the job now restored

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 21/01/2010 18:42

There, Cdrs are human after all! Glad it's sorted. We had to sort our wedding out in 6 weeks flat due to intensive underwater programming at the time. We did it, and here we are 24 years later this year!

Good luck.

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