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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

Whinge!

2 replies

WeatherWitch · 21/01/2010 14:23

Nothing at all that can be done about any of this but am COMPLETELY fed up with RN attitude and just needed a good whinge about it. In the last 7 years I've given my entire life over to the Navy, haven't complained when recalled from my father's funeral to deploy (ashes stayed on a shelf at the undertaker's for 5 months because they wouldn't give me leave to pick them up)or when refused compassionate leave when my stepfather was in hospital, or when DH2B and I haven't had any leave together in 3 years (and in fact only spent 30 nights together last year), or about any of the 4 holidays I've cancelled in the last 3 years, or about being sent to sea the ONLY weekend that DH2B is alongside between now and April, or when officially told (not in writing, funnily enough!) that there was no point trying to get married while in my previous appointment as they wouldn't guarantee me even one day off... And now, having planned the wedding over a year ago to fit in with our careers, cleared it with everyone everywhere even remotely related to either of our jobs, suddenly I find myself having to grovel to the Cdr to get time off for it because apparently they're suddenly going to be too busy to spare me - from a job that was gapped for 2 years! It's driving me mad... It's like being in a relationship with someone that you love and would never leave but who just keeps letting you down. DH2B is leaving at the 16 year point but that's still 8 years away, and I don't even want to consider what it'll be like when we have a family.

Okay, rant over, feeling better now

OP posts:
Yorky · 21/01/2010 19:17

Forces life sucks - funny how it doesn't seem to put people off! DH suffers from the same addiction
Glad you feel better having got it off your chest, try feeling smug about your indispensability!

madwomanintheattic · 23/01/2010 02:48

...and breathe!

i left. so now i follow. there's good and bad, but there's really no such thing as co-location, and juggling two careers once children are in the picture is virtually impossible. dh and i spent 9 years living in different countries, with him driving to germany for the weekend or whatever, eventually we decided it was only going to work long term if one of us gave up. so i did, and we got married. it doesn't end there of course - dh deployed for 6 months 4 days after our wedding etc etc etc.

it's the same old story, but no less hard work for those living it. much sympathy - hopefully you will be able to decide together whether the stress of managing two military careers and attempting to forge a meaningful family life is attainable! i think in some very lucky instances it does work, and who knows, you might end up being one of the lucky ones. we didn't want to take the risk of ending up adding to the mil divorce stats

fortunately these days dh is past his pension point and can leave with 7 mos notice. it feels much less stressful already!

congratulations on your impending nuptials - and good luck in both of your careers. x

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