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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

Do you ever have to put up with this?

2 replies

Megami · 13/11/2009 15:58

Sorry to have two posts in one day, but I was hoping that perhaps you lovely ladies would understand my frustration!
My mother is rather clueless. Make that frustratingly clueless. So rather than ring her and tell her about DH going away, I wrote a letter - she could take the time to digest it, read it over more than once. I said that he had volunteered for the position (so I didn't get the usual 'gee the Army is awful sending someone away for so long against their will' scenario). I told her I was okay with it, because I know she thrives on drama and would love to think I was having a mental breakdown over it. I told her that my son and I would be staying in this house.
Today I get this in an email:

I don't know what to say about [DH] going to Afghanistan ...... obviously it is something you have both talked about and are happy about but I don't understand. When he is in training from May, where do you & [DS] live ? and when he is in Afghanistan where will you & Will be living? How often will you get to see each other ? and what is the reason for [DH] wanting to go? surely if he doesn't have to, why leave you & [DS]? to go over to a dangerous country when he can be with his family all the time. As I said I don't understand and I just feel concerned that it is such a long time and [DS] will miss his daddy at an important time in his life, and you will be on your own for so long.??
That is me being me, and I know you have everything organised.

Now, I have been living with a soldier for over ten years now. He has been away before. So AIBU to think my mother is being either clueless or outright mean to imply my husband is a bad father for volunteering to take this deployment in Afghanistan?

OP posts:
Drusilla · 13/11/2009 16:07

YANBU! Although I must say I have never experienced that attitude from anyone in either my family or DHs... Does she think you and DS will have to leave your house if your DH is not there? She doesn't sound outright mean but she certainly sounds either very clueless, or very misguided in her worries about you and your DS.

Drusilla · 13/11/2009 16:10

I've jsut read your other post and realized that your mother is not in the UK and your DH has a longer than ususal deployment. Which does make me think that perhaps her email is a little bit more understandable. Can you have a rational conversation with her?

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