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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

white poppys?

139 replies

fluffles · 29/10/2009 22:47

i like the idea of a white poppy for peace but i want to check - does the british legion or service soldiers find them offensive?

i would like to remember all victims of war and make a statement for peace but i don't want to offend the current or past forces.

can somebody let me know?

thanks.

p.s. see www.whitepoppy.org.uk/ for more info...

OP posts:

undervalued · 31/10/2009 22:12

' I find them a little too overtly political and showoff '

A little like your opinion?

nighbynight · 31/10/2009 22:13

OP says " would like to remember all victims of war and make a statement for peace " and I would assume that was what any white poppy wearer was saying.

hf128219 · 31/10/2009 22:22

Sleep tight in your bed tonight. Sweet dreams.

FlappyTheBat · 31/10/2009 22:33

Tell you what, you do this and tell me if serving armed forces personnel or their families find white poppies offensive!

Watch as your dh/dw/dp packs up a bag to go away for several months.

Get them to video themselves reading a few stories for dc before they go, just in case they worst should happen - at least dc will be able to see and hear what dh was like.

Hold on to your dh as you are saying goodbye, remembering how he smells, feels and sounds.

Send by email, a scan picture of dc2, as dh isn't able to attend scans, at least they will have seen a somewhat grainy picture of dc2.

Look forward to every single phonecall that you are lucky enough to receive, at the same time dreading saying goodbye every single time because you don't know when you will ever get a chance to speak again.

Get angry when people so helpfully "remind" you that you chose this life, no I didn't. Yes, I chose to marry dh, but I didn't choose to serve in the armed forces.

Whenever there hasn't been contact from dh by email/phone when you were expecting to have heard, wondering what has happened, why haven't they called?
Unable to switch the 24 hour news services off, even though you aren't learning anything new but......

I am lucky at the moment, dh may be on a long deployment but he is safe. We have gone through several deployments when this hasn't been the case.

I will wear my RED poppy with pride on Remembrance Day.

hf128219 · 31/10/2009 22:43

Well said Flappy. My dh spent 9 months in Afhgan in 2007 - my pregnancy. Going to every scan by myself was hard but you just do it.

Luckily he made it home in one piece.

stuffitllllama · 01/11/2009 10:44

"Studying political philosophy is the start of understanding life."

I can't believe someone thinks this, believes this, wrote it and the rest of us didn't rofl our pants off.

I am defensive when I see criticism expressed of something I respect and support. Of course.

Flappy and other forces' wives, all the best.

jcscot · 01/11/2009 10:45

Flappy - that sums up exactly why I wear a red poppy.

My husband just arrived home last Monday after six months in Agfhanistan and (minus the scan pics) that pretty much sums up how I felt.

We were at Motherwell Cathedral on Thursday night for the Service of Thanksgiving and Remembrance that was organised by Bishop Devine and it was not a militaristic or jingoistic occasion - it was sombre and reflective yet uplifting.

So, while I sympathise with the aim to remember all victims of war, Remembrance Sunday was always intended to focus on the sacrifices made by the Armed Forces. Therefore the focus needs to stay there because - regardless of what we think about the wars in which our government involves us - those sacrifices are worth remembering and honouring by all of us.

nighbynight · 01/11/2009 13:04

stuffit - you just cant let go of the sneering and agree to disagree, can you.
I said it is the START of understanding. Of course philosophy on its own doesnt make you understand life! you need life experience as well But equally, lots of people are blundering through without a coherent set of beliefs about what sort of society they want to live in, because they ONLY have life experience, and they have never thought things through to first principles, or learned basic things like what a democracy really is, for example.

you can rofl at that if you want, but it just makes you look a bit silly.

stuffitllllama · 01/11/2009 14:14

It's not sneering, it's out and out ridicule.

NbN I know you mean well but you have thought a little bit, not a lot.

stuffitllllama · 01/11/2009 14:26

A bit harsh. Gentle ridicule.

I disagree with you about the details but plainly you are idealistic and essentially well meaning. You did not get that out of a book.

totalmisfit · 01/11/2009 14:30

i just don't understand what nationally orchestrated 'remembering' actually acheives. It doesn't bring us any closer to peace. It doesn't prevent future wars. If you have lost someone in conflict, of course you will remember them and grieve for them privately, regardless of whether they 'made the ultimate sacrifice' or not. My wearing a red poppy might provide a small donation to the British Legion, but that's all.

FlappyTheBat · 01/11/2009 14:37

For me, Remembrance Day is about acknowledging the sacrifices that members of the Armed Forces have made in the past and will sadly continue to do so.

It is not about bringing us closer to peace or about preventing future wars.

I wish the OP had thought about where to place this thread a little more carefully, I don't think it is appropriate to have a discussion such as this, in this topic.

stuffitllllama · 01/11/2009 15:35

Totalmisfit: we should ALL remember them, collectively. They died in our service. It is a national loss.

Sorry for continuing it Flappy. No more from me.

scaryteacher · 01/11/2009 19:10

'Lest we forget' is the point misfit. We remember those who have died and think about those who will die in the service of their country. The words of the service say 'for your tomorrow we gave our today'. If they hadn't, what would be the world be like now?

I will be at the Remembrance service in Brussels next week wearing my red poppy with pride as will my serving dh and my son. We will be thinking about my db who is off on deployment to Afghanistan at the end of this month, and praying that he comes home. We will also be thinking about those who have died in all the conflicts last century and this. Wearing the poppies will also hopefully raise some money for the RBL, and continue to provide employment for the injured ex service personnel who make them.

Original poster

fluffles · 01/11/2009 21:16

FloppytheBat I'M the OP and i put it here because i wanted to know what people in the forces thought about white poppys.

where else do you suggest i should post a question specifically for people in the forces???

i have read the responses with interest and decided not to support the white poppy movement.

i don't see how my actions could POSSIBLY be constued as insensitive???????

OP posts:

nighbynight · 01/11/2009 21:18

stuffit - how odd, because you have described exactly my impression of you.

FlappyTheBat · 01/11/2009 21:38

The white poppy is a political statement, whether or not you realised that before posting, I don't know.

You asked if members of the armed forces would find the wearing of an anti-war symbol offensive, well as members of the armed forces join up with the realisation that they may be sent to areas of conflict, I am sure that you won't catch many of them wearing a white poppy.

btw fluffy, it's Flappy not Floppy.

Original poster

fluffles · 01/11/2009 22:03

i asked a genuine question because i DIDN'T want to offend anybody (a friend sent me the link on facebook but as i have other friends in the armed forces i wanted to check first) and i got some answers.

I DON'T need to be 'told off' for trying to do the right thing - clearly i had my suspicions, that's why i asked.

I did not ask to wind people up if that's what you think

I am now really really fucked off and have gone from feeling sensitive to people in the forces to feeling that i shouldn't have bloody well cared... i'm off and will never be coming back to this topic again - you clearly don't want 'outsiders' here asking what you percieve as stupid questions.

bye

OP posts:

hf128219 · 01/11/2009 22:06

Oh dear. It's a very sensitive topic to a lot of us at the moment.

Bear with us - and post when you like.

UberCoolName · 01/11/2009 22:41

I am serving in the Army, as is my DP.

A white poppy is deeply offensive to me. and posting a question of this thread is insensitive;there was no need- it is clear what the white poppy stands for.

Why try and high-jack remembrance day for political gain? This is what i do not understand.

I am all for free speech, and I understand that other people have a different view to myself, but there is no place for politics and on remembrance day.

Just quiet thought and respect for those that have given the ultimate sacrifice so that we can live the way we do now.

Every time I see a poppy i see the faces of those I have served with who have not come home safe as I and my DP have. I see the generations of men who have died for this country.

We MUST always remember them. They were/are willing to die for this country, the least we can do is spend 2mins of a year to reflex on this!!

Next sunday I wont forget, i will raise a glass to those have not come home, and when the last post sounds, i no doubt will shed a tear.

Those who have not served or do not have family/friends who have will never understand.

some of the comments of hear clearly show how detached people are from the military and what they have done for this country.

"They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them"

seeker · 01/11/2009 22:55

The white poppy is not a political statement. It is completely apolitical. It symbolizes a desire for no more war, and the money raised from the sale of white poppies goes towards education in ways of resolving conflict that does not involve fighting. No disrespect is intended towards those who died in conflicts or who currently serve.
I personally wear both. I fail to see how this can offend anyone.

VicarInaBooTu · 01/11/2009 22:57

i didnt know white poppies existed but am feeling quite sorry for the OP who i believe was asking out of respect.

just goes to show!

seeker · 01/11/2009 23:02

Well, I hope the OP wears her white poppy - perhaps with a red one. Anybody who is upset or offended by it obviously doesn't understand the history or symbolism of the white poppy - if they did, I really don't think they would be offended.

UberCoolName · 01/11/2009 23:52

I understand the history and the symbolism of the white poppy and i am offended.

Fighting is the last resort, trying to resolve a conflict in a non-military way sometimes just does not work. I wish this was different, but its not. fact.

Dont make the mistake of thinking that the military only want war.

I do think wearing a white poppy on remembrance day its a political statement or people would wear them on international peace day! This is why i am offended.

GypsyMoth · 02/11/2009 00:27

Oh fgs the op asked a genuine question here......amongst other MNetters, in order to NOT offend anyone in her life. Why is she getting attacked for it

MN at it's worst.

Am ex services too, and had ALOT of help from royal British legion And SSAFA. I'm not offended.

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