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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

Tips for explaining dh being away on exercise?

3 replies

phdlife · 30/09/2009 12:33

When we moved back to Oz at the end of last year dh resumed his service in the Reserves (TA), but for one reason or another he's missed all but one of the weekends away. Now he's due to go away for a fortnight and I am stumped as to how to explain this to ds, who is 2.5 and pretty sensitive - he's been giving me any amount of bedtime malarky with his dad home sleeping off an operation for a few days, I can't imagine how he'll be when dh vanishes altogether.

Any suggestions?

TIA

OP posts:
carocaro · 30/09/2009 12:44

I think you gotta just be plain and simple about it.

Say Daddy is going away for work and will be back, get a calendar so you can mark the days off, giving him a sense of countdown when Daddy's back.

Put a lovely photo of the two of them together by his bed.

Have some little presents on standby for wobbly moments 'oooh look what Daddy left for you'

Plan lots of distraction, play dates etc with other people.

Also I think you need to let him be sad and cry if he misses him and acknowledge that he feels sad but how exciting it will be when he gets back.

My DH goes away a lot and mine are 2.5 and 7, and to be honest out of sight out of mind rings true a lot, you will be surprised I think/hope how well he does cope.

I hope you are OK, it is as necessary pain in the ass when they are away, but we gotta get on with it!

madwomanintheattic · 30/09/2009 17:42

what caro said

mind you, mine have been used to me disappearing for days/ weeks at a time too, so sometimes here it's also, 'mummy's at work darling.'

if he's going somewhere interesting (some summer camps are lol...) then you can say, 'remember? he's gone to x, where the (insert appropriate animal/ scenery etc) are...'

keep it as normal as possible, and totally agree, have lots of stuff planned to do. busy is def best. and keep a stash of easy food in the fridge - i find it really difficult to bother myself to cook when he's away and usually just eat garbage.

phdlife · 01/10/2009 11:54

thanks both. had sussed the dinner thing and have frozen lots of leftovers lately. we're a bit strapped for people to see/things to do though as we've only recently moved back here; friends/family all at work, don't know how to go out and meet more. Plus got a lo in tow so am quite stupid with fatigue atm. oh well.

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