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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Does anyone else find the period before the 6 month deployment worse...

16 replies

ThePhantomPlopper · 09/07/2009 21:44

than the actual deployment?

DH is off somewhere hot and sandy in August and I'm dreading it! Time is going too quickly, I don't want to have to say goodbye for 6 months! I hate the goodbyes!

After the first week, I'll get into a routine and I'll feel much better but I hate this bit.

OP posts:
largeginandtonic · 09/07/2009 21:50

It is rubbish. My dh is currently away for 6 months.

I had dd in Jan and the months whizzed by

FlappyTheBat · 09/07/2009 21:51

I completely agree, once they have gone it is almost a relief and you can start getting on with life on your own.

Dh recently left on a almost 7 month long deployment and although we tried to make make the last few days we had together, as much fun as possible for our dd's, we were both getting stressed/upset as we knew the time for saying goodbye was drawing closer and closer.
Although I've done the goodbyes before, they just appear to be getting harder, not easier.

It's now just over a month since dh left and 5.5 until he is due back home, really looking forward to that day!

I hope your dh comes home safe and soon,

largeginandtonic · 09/07/2009 21:53
McDreamy · 09/07/2009 21:54

Yep the build up is def worse. We usually end up bickering as he becomes more focused on getting ready to go away and I become more involved in the children - what a waste of time and effort (arguing that is not the children).

Once they go it's a countdown til they come back.

FlappyTheBat · 09/07/2009 21:56
Mercy2 · 13/07/2009 19:24

I found that this time DH has been away the build up was terrible! I think now we have our DS it had hit me the impact that the tour might have on him as well as thinking about my own upset! I did find that the first week or so was the hardest then me and DS kinda got into the swing of things and settled into our routine as you say.
He is almost 4 months into a nearly 7 month tour and R&R is so close I can taste it! hope the time passes quickly and without too much stress for you hunny x x
M

Loopymumsy · 13/07/2009 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ThePhantomPlopper · 14/07/2009 13:12

Well the arguing has started with 6 weeks to go before he leaves, he's not even here, he's doing OST in Scotland.

Hopefully this is his last 6mo deployment before he leaves the Navy in 4 years time.

Why don't the Navy get R&R?

OP posts:
mumof2222222222222222boys · 10/09/2009 15:40

Old thread resurrection...

Just been told yesterday that DH is off to hot and sandy parts for 6 months in early Dec. Threee months notice.

Actually, it could be a lot worse (offered a 2 year accompanied posting to the equivalent of Outer Mongolia), but (and IABprobably VU) I am just so annoyed about Xmas and how we'll explain it to the DSs. We were going to be skiing at Christmas and that is almost certainly going to be cancelled. And they will just have boring Mummy (both Daddy's boys.)

Ho hum. And while he gets lots of post deployment leave - it is not like it ties in with school holidays...

scaryteacher · 10/09/2009 21:21

He'll be with my db then.

I'm intrigued by the Outer Mongolia posting - was it Faslane percahnce?

mumof2222222222222222boys · 11/09/2009 09:01

Could have been as far as I'm concerned!! but no it was actually to somewhere in the former USSR with an alternative of a southern Gulf country which has been in news recently for attacks on westerners. Didn't really fancy either funnily enough!

He is delighted - it is a geat job from his perspective and he is keen to move on from where he is now. also promotion job...so it is mainly great news and I should be delighted about it too.

I am coming round...but not looking forward to selling it to the kids.

hoops997 · 13/09/2009 12:01

hello Ladies, can I join you? My DP is going away to sunnier climes in April next year, he will be away when our DC1 is due, I am absolutely dreading it......

The thing is I was in the Army for 11 years myself so I know also the other side of the coin, so I know all the worries and concerns that he will be going through too

This is pap.....

FlappyTheBat · 13/09/2009 12:42

welcome hoops997, my dh was also somewhere hot and sandy when I was pregnant with dd2 but he was fortunate and was home in time for her birth.

will your dp be able to get back at all?

milestone for us tomorow, halfway through the long deployment, christmas can't come soon enough for me this year!!

beginning to resent dh's current deployment holiday though, wine tasting, walking, sightseeing, helping out on farms, driving through mountain ranges, running up a mountain to see a statue - that's life in the navy for you!

he'll find it hard when he actually has to start working again for a living come January.

hoops997 · 13/09/2009 13:44

Well he actually goes half waythrough March but could be April, you know what the bloody military is like!!

DC is due on 2nd April so hoping that s/he decides to come early!

He has 2 other kids from his first marriage and I know he regrets not being there for the birth of them, so I really think this will be his last deployment as he missed so much of his other 2 growing up and I think he feels that this is another chance to be a 'proper' dad.......

FlappyTheBat · 13/09/2009 16:55

Realise that hospitals aren't keen to induce, but I do know of babies who have been induced at 37/38 weeks when their dad was about to deploy.

I know it is not an ideal situation but then neither is it ideal for a dad to have to deploy just as their baby is due to be born.
Hope everything works out date wise for you!

hoops997 · 13/09/2009 18:56

maybe will explain situation to midwife, and hope for the best!

Thanks flappy

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