A positive smile, and a simple hello.... and the worlds a better place!!!

[Mercy2]

I wish all the wives i come accross thoughout my days were as charming, sweet and happy as the one's on here!!!

I've lost count of the times that i have smiled and said hello as i walk by people, only to be glared at!!! i don't get hy they can't just smile back!!!

WELL, i am determined to carry on my mission and keep smiling at the miserable witches!!! lol. untill they all smile back, and say

"oh she's actually a genuinely nice person" lol.

sorry, felt the need to vent!!!
Luv to all
M x x x x

Take it you live on a married patch then?

Done it once for a very short time, hope I never have to again for much the same reasons!!

I suppose it depends on the patch (have lived on several) but they've all been pretty friendly as far as I was concerned. I would have thought that the recent deployment of your husband's regiment would have made the wives stick together.

Stick it out, it might not be as bad as you think.

It always surprises me how unffriendly it can be in some married patches. My hubby is in RAF so when we move or he goes it's not as a regiment just him replacing someone in his trade wherever wewe go. My mum always says 'it's not like Soldier Soldier is it' Think of all the fun we would be having if it was ...lol

Some of us are friendly just have to search us out. x

Deary me - my typing is bad today - sorry about all typo's in previos message.

hey jcscot, that's what i thought too! but there's a really HEAVY clique of wives that can be quite intimidating. but there are a few lovely ones of course!!!
Yesterday i was just so cross about being blanked one too many times by the same people!!!
I lways smile at everyone, i always help other wives if i can. but it seems that because i'm pretty quiet and keep myself to myself... A lot of the clique have decided that i am snooty!!!! I've started goin to mums and tots. so i am crackin the problem slowly!!! lol

M x x x x x

I used to get wives blanking me because of DH's job. We too are RAF, and as mrsrsp said, RAF personnel tend to move indivdually. People would be fine until DH arrived home in the section car or landrover or van for the first time and they would all go {hmm]! Then many would ignore me

thats awful. it shouldn't matter what DH's job is.
I have to say, my previous post looked like i was saying the people at mums and tots are the problem. They're actully mch more welcoming. and the lady that runs ours if just so lovely!!!
I thought it would've been the mums that were the clique-y ones, but they have been supportive.

Its the ones that walk past you on the patch and talk about you before they've even got past you! I think i annoy them by being consistantly nice to them tho! lol.

Last time DH was in Afghanistan, there was a rumour started that I'd had an affair because someone saw me walking for the bus with my friends little brother!! who was 15 at the time!!! i'm 28!!! lol

so not all our wives are too supportive.
x x x x

Oh Saltire...I know just what you mean. A rank/trade class type system still sometimes exists.

IME it's a trade thing, DH's trade is blatantly obvious and this of course can and has had a negative effect on some.

I have occasionlly come across those who use the rank thing

My hubby is in one of the most disliked trades of all...lol.

Hmm, DH's is pretty disliked as well!
DH wears something in his uniform that is different to everyone else!, and therefore makes his trade obvious

its silly that it matters to people.
I wouldn't care what job or rank someones DH was. We're all in the same boat at the end of the day. we'reall just people!! thats what i always say x

That's what I think too Mercy, shame not everyone thinks that way. x

Mercy, yes we're all in the same boat and we're all just people. However, there are the same mix of personalities/likes/dislikes on a patch as there are in any section of society. Not everyone will see eye to eye and not everyone will get along.

Naturally, civility costs nothing and a simple smile or wave or "Good morning!" goes a long way and does no harm.

When we were on the patch (we're currently living in civvie street although my husband is still serving), I found that some people will make overtures of friendship and some wouldn't. Perhaps those that aren't as friendly have a large enough social circle or simply are not looking for more friends. Or perhaps, fairly or unfairly, they've decided that you are not someone with whom they would get on - personalities clash all the time and it doesn't mean that anyone is a bad person.

I made friends where I wanted to and was always polite and civil everyone else. Other than that, I doubt there's anything you can do.

I can't say that I've ever come across trade rivalry in a "we dislike that trade" way. There's plenty of inter-regimental and corps joshing, I know, but I can't say that we've ever been ignored or disliked because my husband's capbadge is different to the rest on the patch. We're trickle posted, rather than posted by unit, so very often there's only one or two others on the patch with the same capbadge. However, we've always found the Mess and patch to be welcoming to those who are regimental outsiders.

wasn't saying anyone was bad, or expecting the whole world to best best buds! I just felt that being verbally "bit*hed" at simply for walking by and saying hello was uncalled for.
I never expected them to welcome me into their social circle with open arms, i just dislike being scowled at.

It seems that you have the right idea, to be friends with those you like, and just be civil to everyone else.

Hope everyon is having a good day,
Hugs
M x x x

Some people are just up their own arses - particularly Army Wives who wear their husbands' rank!

"I never expected them to welcome me into their social circle with open arms, i just dislike being scowled at. "

I can understand that and can sympathise with you. I suppose what I was trying to say was that there is no point in wasting your energy if people aren't friendly towards you. Keep saying "hello" and you're showing you have good manenrs and I wouldn't sweat about the fact they don't respond. Concnetrate on the people who have been receptive and friendly and you'll be fine.

As hf128216 says, some people are just snooty or self-obsessed or rank-obsessed (coming from a Corps that prides itself on not being rank-obsessed, I don't understand that!) and are not worth getting upset over.

thanks hunny,
I am prob quite over sensative at the min. and its nice to see other people on here who can talk things through with me!

I think that with me and DS being poorly, and hubby being away, as well as a few other things that hav gotten on top of me, i let stuff get to me that shouldn't!

I will keep smiling, and try and focis on the more positive aspects of camp-life.

thanks again guys,
hugs
M< x x x

No problem!

Jcscot - a Corps? My God - I must leave this Board!!!!

LOL! I know! Perhaps I should hang my head in shame and pretend that my husband is in one of the older 'Royal' Corps as opposed to one of the newer, less prestigious ones...

Infantry wife here - should have married a Guardsman!!! LOL!!!

i'm an infantry wife too!! lol x

Used to live on a mixed patch where one service dominated the area.

The mum's would take over the largest play area and then block the entrance with their prams and kids bikes, ensuring that nobody else could get in - the mum's would then sit on the wall, talking and as soon as you walked past, would stop and completely blank you - really friendly!!