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Forces sweethearts

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warning ! rant about neighbour coming....

19 replies

MuchLessTiredNow · 28/01/2009 18:32

I have posted about this woman before, in Dec when she left her kids with me from 7 am to 7 pm, as she was going to the PX , and when I asked her to pick me up a couple of bits was sniffy about it. 2 weeks later she left her 2 yo with me all morning (I find it hard to say no), who screamed in real distress for 20 mins when I had to change her nappy as she doesn't know me very well.She had diarrhoea and when I mentioned it she said 'oh yes, we knew about that' (I have a baby FFS - you thought it would have crossed her mind I wouldn't want the baby to catch anything) I spoke to her Dh about it later and said I wasn't willing to do it again unless her children got to know me better as it was unfair on them. anyway, fast forward to today when she came round to ask if I was doing anything this afternoon - I naively thought she may be inviting us around for a play date - when I said no, we were free, she offloaded the 2 younger ones on me for 3 hours. I have 3 of my own, all under 5 and really didn't want to have them all around - and cook tea for them all especially as it is never reciprocated. Anyway, she left them with me today, and the 2 yo again went barmy when I had to change a pooey nappy, and as I was doing so discovered she had ringworm on her groin area that she was scratching. when I told the mother this, she said 'oh yes, we'll take her to the doctor soon' - really hope those scratchy hands didn't pass it on to my 3 - and to take the biscuit, she said 'I have to do this run once a fortnight' - please please please let her not think she can do this everytime.

Any tips on refusing gracefully? You know how hard it is to make waves on a patch

OP posts:
NeedCoffee · 28/01/2009 18:34

can you always be on your way out?
your baby/you be ill with something next time she asks?
por you.

MuchLessTiredNow · 28/01/2009 18:35

do you think I am being selfish for not wanting to do this?

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 28/01/2009 18:37

You are not being selfish at all. It would be different if she returned the favour or invited you round for the odd play date, but TBH it sounds as though she is using you.

SammyC · 28/01/2009 18:38

The cheek of it, I would give her the number of local creche/hive, just say you cant deal with it, if not strong enough make note of date next doing the run and be out ha ha x

MuchLessTiredNow · 28/01/2009 18:40

I think I will have to try the 'I am busy' option - but I am so bad at lying

OP posts:
SammyC · 28/01/2009 18:41

You are not selfish at all, there is helping out in a tight spot but dont let her take the mick

JackBauer · 28/01/2009 18:41

If it is a definate once a fortnight start planning a day out on that day, even to the park so you are either not in or 'just on the way out of the door'
Or be arrnaging to meet a friend soemwhere. If she isnt in, she isnt going to know if you come back after half an hour.
And you are not being selfish at all.

NeedCoffee · 28/01/2009 18:43

no way are you being selfish, point out that childminders can charge around £5 an hour per child, and so if she would like to pay you for the previous times, then you would be happy to have them again....Does she provide the kids food? or are you expected to feed them too?
God, i wouldn't dream of doing that to anyone but a close friend, and even then i feel guilty when they have dd2 for an hour!

MuchLessTiredNow · 28/01/2009 18:44

the park is between my house and hers, so I am not too sure she wouldn't just leave them there with me. It is the sickness thing that really bugs me - there is NO WAY I would leave any of mine with anyone if they had a runny bottom, or a skin fungus.... must go and milton the toys....

OP posts:
NeedCoffee · 28/01/2009 18:50

next time, just say, No because DCs caught the ringworm last time.

MuchLessTiredNow · 28/01/2009 19:01

good plan....

OP posts:
cheshirekitty · 28/01/2009 20:22

MuchLess - there are two types of people in the world. Takers and givers.

Your neighbour is a taker. I think needcoffees suggestion is very good.

To be honest, cannot believe the cheek of the woman.

Mutt · 28/01/2009 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuchLessTiredNow · 29/01/2009 13:11

MUTT!!! your mind, girl!

OP posts:
hf128219 · 29/01/2009 16:19

You must just say that she is beginning to take the piss - who cares what other people think!

AnnasBananas · 30/01/2009 13:43

She is absolutely taking the piss.

Make an excuse like the baby's sick, you're sick, have to go out to pick something up etc etc. A one-off is one thing, but if it's not reciprocated it's just her taking advantage of your kind nature.

hf128219 · 30/01/2009 16:53

I don't even think you should have to make an excuse - just tell her straight!

purpleduck · 30/01/2009 17:17

You don't have to give excuses - just tell her "no" or that its not convenient.
You don't owe her anything.

PS- honestly - you must have a heart of gold! Save it for those who appreciate it!!

waspriceyp · 31/01/2009 13:00

Tell her to piss off! On the patch it'll soon get round that she's a taker and eventually no one will help. FGS if it's regular she should pay for some help!! Tell her to put her hand in her pocket!

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