Housing with a baby

[phoebe123]

I've just found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend is in his final year of university but attends both the OTC and TA. In September he's off to Sandhurst and will join the Fusiliers after. When the baby is born, is he entitled to a house? We're not married and I'm not sure if we'll live together or not.
Does this make sense? I am a massive civvy so I may be talking complete rubbish

bumping for you as we have some excellent army wifes here

Hi Phoebe. Welcome and congratulations! My understanding is that you need to be married (or in a civil partnership if gay) to be entitled to a married quarter. Please correct me if I'm out of date, anyone. However, officers have been known to co-habit in their own or rented accomodation. This obviously is a more expensive option and if you live in your own home, you face selling up and moving whenever your partner is posted - particularly difficult overseas. I know wives who have become wives simply because they are then able to have a quarter and tap into the support network more easily. I'm not suggesting this is the right thing to do - only sharing my experience. Also, some Commanding Officers (your boyfriend's boss when he gets to his regiment) are more understanding than others - they can insist that young officers live in the officers' mess if not married.

Do you know where your boyfriend will go after Sandhurst? Will he attend a course before joining his Regiment?

I went to Sandhurst (over 20 years ago!) and my husband went a couple of years later. It was certainly 24/7 then and I don't imagine that has changed, so I'm afraid, whatever your circumstances, you shouldn't expect to see much of him during the course. On the up side, I have met some fantastic friends and lived in lots of great places over the 14 years we have been married. As with all life choices, there are pros and cons.

The Army Families' Federation is a non military organisation, which produces a quarterly magazine and is exceptionally good at supporting those of us who support the Army. Have a look at their website at www.aff.org.uk/

herbie is right, you do need to be married to get a quarter. outdated isn't it.

My husband was on the directing staff at Sandhurst a few years ago and I can reiterate what others have already said: there is no entitlement to housing unless you are married.

RMAS training is pretty full on - three fourteen week terms with allocated leave weekends (3, if I remember correctly) and leave in between, rather like school/uni.

He won't be allowed to 'live out' during his course and the rules on living out once he has his commission and joins his regiment will depend on the CO of the day. When my husband got his commission and before he did his YO's course, he served with the Fusiliers on a nine-month attachment. We were engaged to be married and his CO actively encouraged him to postpone the marriage on the grounds that he was too junior to be married and that his first loyalty ought to be to his soldiers.

We got married anyway.

All I'm saying is that, unfair or not, unless you're married there is no housing. Even if you marry, for his year at Sandhurst you won't be able to live together except when he's on leave.

Give the AAF a call or have a look at their website. They're a great source of help and info.

When I was at Sandhurst (over 10 years ago, mind)there was a married cadet (he had been a soldier who was picked up for officer training) whose wife had a quarter on the grounds, but he had to live in the accommodation during training time (as jcscot said), but was able to see his wife during free time at the weekends etc.

However, having said that it was, at that time, only during the first and part of the second terms that we had to 'sign back in' by midnight. In the third term we didn't have to sign in till the morning, so we were able to stay out overnight which is actually what my now husband and I used to do (my parents lived not far away, so we pretty much 'commuted' when training allowed it).

But as others have said, unless you're married you wont be eligible for a quarter.

Your partner will be expected to live in the Mess when he eventually reaches his regiment for a token amount of time, but that depends on the regiment and the CO at the time. My husband and I actually lived together in a rented house when we were both (newly-engaged) lieutenants, nearly captains (we did have to write formal letters to our COs 'requesting permission to live out'!).

My husband is in a usually pretty traditional cavalry regiment, but his CO at the time was more relaxed so was fine about 1. his getting engaged and 2. living out unmarried, so we were lucky.

Good luck with whatever happens and I hope it works out for you all as well as possible.

The RN is the same; no Married Quarter unless you're married. I presume this rule is maintained as for the RN at least there aren't many quarters as most have been sold off.

Married cadets do get housing now, but not on the grounds - in Aldershot. That's a fairly recent thing. Prior to that only people who had joined as soldiers and were married got housing (because they were already in the Army system, as it were). Direct entry cadets had no entitlement to housing while training.

mrsmcdreamy is right - if you're not married but wish to cohabit, the serving partner will need to request permission from his CO and it really does depend on the CO/regiment whether or not he will be allowed to do so.

I don't see the rules on MQs being relaxed any time soon - there's quite a bit of pressure on housing, especially in busy areas so I can't imagine the military will want to take on the additional burden of housing people who are not married to one another.

Thanks everyone for replying
I think I understand it all a little better now