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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

Would normally find this funny, just can't at the moment!!!!!

19 replies

cali · 16/12/2008 19:56

Following on from an earlier thread where I was moaning about dh being deployed at very short notice, well......

Received an email from the CO of his current ship, as although we can send emails, there is no outgoing communication because of what they are doing.

In the email, he says there are various methods of keeping informed as much as possible, including the Families information Line, which will have up to date information on a pre recorded message.

I phoned it, and listened as the voice told me that this was the new information for HMS Whatever, recorded on the 31st July 2006!!!!!!!!

Glad I wasted 5p on the call, not exactly helpful.

Still have no idea when dh is coming back, which is great as I am working christmas - he was supposed to have been on leave as of Friday and should have been looking after dd's.

Don't you just love the armed forces?

OP posts:

Yorky · 16/12/2008 20:09

That is so but at the same time so unsurprising Just another of those things you will be able to laugh about when he is back, but so frustrating and ridiculous now. Have you spoken to the padre where you are, or do you know any of the wives of his colleagues?
Keep venting on here

Original poster

cali · 16/12/2008 20:20

Unfortunately I live 500 miles away from where the ship is based, so I don't have any contact with anybody else who's in the same boat (sorry about the pun ).

I completely understand why we have no contact but at the same time, would it really give too much away if they just let us know when they are coming back to the base?

This is going to sound so sad but 'tis true, that the only contact I have with other wives/partners is here on mumsnet.

All my friends in RL are far too sensible to get involved with someone in uniform. (wedding pics looked great though )

OP posts:

frannikin · 16/12/2008 21:03

sending hugs to Cali

Short notice deployments suck, communication blackouts suck. Keep venting, we understand and are on hand with wine/chocolate/other mood enhancing substances.

at the up-to-date info line - have you sent an e-mail back to the CO informing him of the validity of the information on there?
On the slightly brighter side it'll be a lovely surprise when he pops up on the doorstep, no?

I don't have much contact with other "forces sweethearts" in RL and it can be really tough. Thank heaven for MN! Do you have a contingency plan in case DH isn't back to look after DDs on Friday?

frannikin · 16/12/2008 21:04

And by the relative pronoun "he" in the previous post I clearly meant your DH and not the CO of his ship.

hf128219 · 16/12/2008 21:10

Oh Cali - you poor thing. Of course you just want to know when he is coming back.

Try and speak to the Families Office/Welfare

Good Luck

Original poster

cali · 16/12/2008 21:13

Sorry, wasn't clear earlier.

Dh was due to start leave on Friday but I'm not working until christmas eve and then again at new year, the 24th should hopefully be ok but getting childcare for new year in Scotland could be a problem

I'm hoping he will be back as planned, it's the not knowing that is the hardest part.

thanks for your support and yes, glad that at least I've got MN.

OP posts:

ItsNELLyChristmas · 16/12/2008 21:55

Hi Cali, have you tried the NFF they are fab and should be able to find out any info that you cannot get hold of.

scaryteacher · 17/12/2008 07:33

Do you have a number for either the Jimmy or the COs wives? They may know - or what about the Hods wife? I normally got phoned and told when the boat was due back, and then phoned those in dh's department.

Original poster

cali · 17/12/2008 09:22

Thanks for those suggestions, will try NFF later if I haven't heard anything soon.

I suppose with the restrictions on communication, they might also not know anything either.

scaryteacher, I am the Hod's wife but I haven't been told anything, I also don't know anyone's families who are in dh's dept. The downside of living nowhere near the base, I suppose.

If I wasn't working, I know it wouldn't be a problem having dh away. I just feel a responsibility to my employer - I also have a manager who is not the most sympathetic person, when people have difficult family circumstances.
That's the NHS for you!!

OP posts:

scaryteacher · 17/12/2008 09:51

Try the CO or Jimmy's wives then, as they may know. As it was a black tube for dh I got called at the same time as the Jim's wife, but the COs wife normally told me when she knew.

Is it possible he could still be on leave on Friday? Sometimes they turn up unexpectedly, and Christmas isn't until next week, so they could still be back in time.

Original poster

cali · 17/12/2008 10:44

I am keeping my fingers crossed that he will be back on Friday, and still have a week to go before christmas eve so I'm probably worrying about nothing

If it wasn't christmas, it would be ok as I would have childcare in place.

Who are the Jimmy's wives?

When dh was on a black tube, I had a list of phone numbers for other wives/partners, this time I have no contact details.

OP posts:

scaryteacher · 17/12/2008 11:16

The Jimmy is the First Lieutenant, so his Mrs may know something. Obviously if you haven't got contact details, you can't call her.

Get your dh to leave you a list - there should be one for the wardroom - there always was for the boat.

Original poster

cali · 17/12/2008 13:11

Thanks, will do that, I think everything happened so quickly that there wasn't an opportunity to give people contact details.

OP posts:

pinkprawn · 17/12/2008 18:54

Try www.RNcom.mod -log in or register (will need DH service no.)then go to discussion forum for relevant ship- will prob be some info on there or at least other people with same issues writing. Or you can write a post saying about out of date FIL info - the CO on DH's last ship kept in touch with what was said on forum and got probs sorted out asap so might work.

mumof2222222222222222boys · 19/12/2008 14:30

My DH was sent to a sub at short notice as the CO (it had already deployed) a couple of years ago. I tried to send an ebluey...and funny old thing they hadn't registered that the boat was out of UK waters and therefore entitled to eblueys.

Being ex RN myself, I spoke to certain people in Faslane and managed to get them to sort it out....perhaps you could try and do something similar.

Very irritating, but once the boat is gone, if someone has forgotton something, it will be down to someone in Squadron to sort, and they may need prompting.

Original poster

cali · 19/12/2008 20:27

Was worrying over nothing sorry, but thanks for allowing me to rant yet again about the navy.

Dh arrived home yesterday, earlier than expected!

So no longer have problems with childcare and now have a 7' real tree in our lounge, my "tacky" artificial tree with child friendly decs has been relegated to the dining room .

Thanks for all your messages and support, after all these years together, you think I would be used to life with the rn!!

OP posts:

ItsNELLyChristmas · 19/12/2008 22:10

Glad he got home ok. Hope you have a nice long list of jobs for him to do whilst he is on leave!!!

Feel free to rant whenever you want, that way we can rant too when the navy do the dirty on us

scaryteacher · 21/12/2008 13:42

Was it the one that came back to Devonport on the SW news on Friday?

Original poster

cali · 21/12/2008 21:30

It wasn't that one, I know what dh was doing but can't say too much on here.
They were escorting some "friends".

Need to work on the list of jobs for him to do!!

OP posts:

Flip