Have neen a Navy wife for 7 years but still find it REALLY tough!

[cheekymonk]

DH now deployed for 7 months and I cried most of the day he left and less so each subsequent day but still feel this massive void and emptiness. I thought by now I should be more immune but it is still as heartbreaking as ever. DS is being so brave, bless him. He is nearly 4 so understands more than previous times.
DH has been on leave for a month which I don't think helped.
Its just taking me longer to get into "Miss Independent" than i gave myself credit for!
Anyone else feel the same??
By the way I know its not as bad as partner/dad permanently walking out/bereavement etc but its still hard x

Of course it's hard (Army wife here) - you just have to keep busy and have your own interests/hobbies/friends.

It takes a certain type if girl to be a Forces WAG

Just keep your chin up and have fun with DS - bless him.

And look after yourself too!

Thanks- as i said its just adapting to that role of creating own life again. I do plan to enjoy ds as much as possible....
I did actually think how would I cope without him. (DS I mean)

I've been an RAF wife for 15 years now and am still not used to it. I'm in Fareham, send me a CAT with your email address and we can arrange a meet up

I know what you mean. I am an RAF wife. Dh hasn't been away for as long as 7 months,although the time away has added up this year. He is prob due a long out of area in the next year or so, and dd is a real Daddy's girl, so will miss him loads.

You need to try and plan lots of things to do while he is away...visiting friends and family etc. Being on your own too much isn't good.

Try and do something once a month - a weekend away to see family/friends. Have people to stay and go and do local sights.

I think it's the weekends that are the hardest - you know when you see couples/families out together.

I always try and plan something for at least half of weekends when dh is away. Visit frinds and family and see local friends (have one mate whose dh works on a Saturday so she is good for then!)

I've been a Navy WAG for nearly 15 years and IME it gets worse not better!!

Each deployment seems longer and longer now, maybe it's just because I am getting older (and have more children to look after )

I try and plan things at weekends (I find them the hardest) and not think about the deployment as xxx months as it is so long, I break it down into weeks or months and mentally tick them off.

And I MN a lot!

Lapin - that's ok, I was going to draw a rabbit and a saltire instead but my arts not that good

Hi cheekymonk; I am a navy wife of 17 (eek) years now! DH is away more often than not as well!
I am in Pompey too and my dd is the same age as your ds; I can be contacted via CAT as well; perhaps we can meet up for a cuppa

Thank you everyone. Sorry I have been ignorant, have just been busy with work etc and not had chance to get back on...
Yes I think it is because it is so close to Christmas that I have been so upset. Its also one of those sea swaps so instead of watching a ship sail away dh hopped on a bus and somehow that trivialised it and made it seel like he would be home sooner, it was less closure I guess.
He has also had a months leave so we got very used to him being at home.
I have spoken to him though and know he is ok so feel better than I did.
Thank you for those offers of meet ups but I am not at that confident stage of being able to meet new people yet. I will get there and don't mean to seem rude. I was touched by the lovely intentions.
I agree about needing to plan things too. I have a xmas work party this weekend and got myself a new dress, only £16 from Asda but gosd did it cheer me up. Mum is down to babysit so will enjoy the company and help.
Thanks again.

I've been married to someone in the Navy for almost 23 years, and grew up with it to boot, so I knew what was coming. I still miss him when he goes away; especially when whatever can go wrong does. I remember once he rang me from a beach in the Phillipines after competing in the South China Seas race and being all bright and chirpy; whilst my washing machine vomited copiously from every available orifice all over the floor. He did not get a pleasant 'Happy Easter to you too' response!

Another time he didn't phone when he said he would as I think they went back to sea having called in to north of the border unexpectedly. I got my revenge though...I gave birth the next day!!!

The point of the above is that you have to look at it and laugh, even though it is hard and sometimes you spend hours stringing ever more explicit swear words together because they are away. As he gets more senior, hopefully the shore time will increase and you'll be thinking at the end of two years, when is the bugger going away again?

I also find chocolate helps...lots of it.

LOL scaryteacher and littlelapin!

I distinctly remember DH phoning me at about three o'clock one morning telling me he was on a beach in Antigua drinking cocktails and laughing at his mates falling in the sea.

I was in bed, had to be up in about 2.5 hours to get ready for a 13 hour shift and care for the baby as well as all the other domestic drudgery that goes with it.

I won't print my reply to him

Enjoy your christmas party cheekymonk!