US Military wives, I need some help/advice please.

[GreenMonkies]

Hi,

I have a buddy who is married to a US serviceman based in the UK, they are expecting thier first baby in a few months. Of course, as a US citizen she will have the baby in the base hospital, and she is convinced that the baby is effectively the "property" of the US Services, and that her DH has total power and she has no say in what is and isn't done to her and the baby.

Is this true? And if it's not could someone help me find a way for her to feel less bullied and powerless.

Waiting with baited breath....

dont know much about us military but i dont know of many bases with hospitals on them. as far as im aware they just use normal hospitals do you know where she is based?
im sure she will be treated like any other person as she has medical right ect. i know with uk dependants they use normal hospitals ect and all is routine (its only the serving personell that get to see military docs in hospitals)

i think she should speak to her midwife and get them to explain whats going to happen as no her baby is hers and no one elses so she will have full say in what goes on

Message withdrawn

I had ds while we were based at Ramstein (big American Base in Germany.) The US wives there had the same options as me in the hospital. My husband had to sign all the paperwork though as it was his employer(RAF) that was footing the bill.

Hi - We're Americans and based in the UK. We did not have the option of using a base hospital as we're nowhere near a base. I had my baby in February on the NHS. I would have prefered a base (actually I would have prefered the private hospital in London but I was afraid we were too far away if something dire happened). Is she at Lakenheath? That's the only US base I know with a hospital and last I heard they were turfing their patients out to the NHS while the hospital undergoes renovations. Anyway. Just because she's being seen at a base hospital she doesn't give up her rights to decide the proper course of treatment for her and the baby. She has the right to accept/deny treatments both for herself and the baby just like in the US. As far as I know, if the hospital does not want to or is unable to provide a particular service, she can petition SOS/Tricare (our insurer) to have the service performed or find a place that will perform the service. I know they've got an office in London, in the US they have an office in the base hospitals too. She would also deal with SOS/Tricare regarding payment guarantees and reimbursables. I've had to use them both here and in Australia and they've been fantastic. They'll research various options and spent lots of time on the phone with hormonal me when I was paranoid about using the NHS. The baby will not be "property" of the services, just like she is not "property" of the services. I'm not sure how they'll do the birth certificate - if the baby will get a US one or a UK one (ours is UK and then there was a bunch more paperwork to do for the US stuff but since she's at a base, it'll be much, much more manageable). If she's got questions, in addition to the midwife, I'd highly recommend she contact SOS/Tricare. Hope this helps.

She's on a base near Cambridge, this is her third baby, the other two were born by c-section, and apparently the military Drs don't "do" VBAC, so this one will be a section too. Her worry is that her baby (a boy) will be circ'd against her wishes, as her DH wants him cut but she doesn't. She is under the impression that if her DH wants him circ'd the staff will listen to him and ignore her wishes.

I'll let her know what you've said re- Tricare, thanks every one.

She's at Mildenhall, does that have a full on hospital complete with operating theatres etc?

Mildenhall is a base very close to Lakenheath so presumably that's the hospital she'll be in. Lakenheath really is THE big base. If she wants to try VBAC she should really contact SOS Tricare and her midwife about her options. As for circumcision, I'm not sure what would happen in that instance. Both my husband and I wanted our DS circumcised - we're just so gosh darned American - but we had to go to the posh hospital in London to get it done. Tricare was unable to find us a facility closer to us to do it. Again, I'd really talk to the Tricare people and her midwife - even if she's in a US base hospital, I think she gets a midwife - to see what the options are. I would like to think she & her husband can come to an agreement before the baby arrives but you never know. The other thing is that you don't have to have a circumcision done in the first couple of days after birth. Ours was done when our DS was 5 weeks. Over 8 (I think, don't quote me) and they need to use a general anaesthetic.

(I think they should use a GA for all surgery, especially circumcision, no matter how old or young.)

But any way, thanks for your help!