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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

What would you do? Applying for Uni place...

29 replies

VanillaPumpkin · 01/10/2008 19:05

I have been a SAHM (through three posting with dh) for six years.
I want to do my PGCE and train to be a teacher. I have no career to go back to. I am voluntering in schools at the mo to get experience etc. The course is an intensive 12 months. I cannot consider it without his support here for the children.
Our current posting is close to a University that seems to have a good PGCE course so I want to apply to start Sep 2009 (dd2 starts school in Jan 2010). I have sounded out a local childminder (even though I haven't even applied yet let alone got a place ).
Dh is now saying 'what if I get an OOA or we get posted?'. This would screw things up totally, but by the same token what if he doesn't get an OOA or posted??
I thought he had said he had 2-3 years clear, but he has come home today saying there are another two posts that have been created that his trade/rank cover.
He is now suggesting volunteering to go sooner so it doesn't interfere but I cannot let him do that. We did that once before and he ended up in Kuwait when 9/11 kicked off .
Oh bollocks.

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VanillaPumpkin · 01/10/2008 19:06

voluntEEring.

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McDreamy · 01/10/2008 19:09

Is a PGCE not a course you can transfer to another Uni if necessary? Can you do it through the OU?

Sorry don't know much about it but trying to help, it's tough when you want to sign up for courses etc.

Apart from this how are you? How's the new house? We've got 3 weeks left before we leave the island - on the same trooper as CP and her family!

VanillaPumpkin · 01/10/2008 19:17

No, Primary PGCE cannot be done part time or flexibly or transferred as far as I can see .

We are all fabulous at the mo thanks for asking. DD1 now happy at school again after little wobble and dd2 loving nursery and me loving my work at the schools. Dh has a new course started which will keep him busy. New house is still wonderful but def colder than the other one. I can however live with that and have bought us all vests. I am still over the moon with it. I had a friend round last weekend to identify all my plants so I now have a starting point for the garden yay!

Three weeks OMGoodness. That will fly by. Your stuff has gone then?? Be prepared for the cold . Are you ready for the move now?
How is the lovely CP and her dear family? Where are they moving back to? South coast??
It will be nice to have them with you. I cried as we took off on the trooper. I vividly remember looking down at the island from the air and thinking what a time we had had! I want to go back .

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McDreamy · 01/10/2008 19:20

We have decided to send our stuff later so it goes a couple of days before we do as we have a house in the UK which we are transferring to our new quarter.

Really looking forward to coming home. I have heard it's cold but I want to come home to friends and family. Done Cyp but know I will miss it!

Bad news about your course, if you do apply it's going to be a risk

nell12 · 01/10/2008 19:27

You need to have a long chat with dh and see if he is able to pin down his appointer as to where/ when his next posting is going to be.

It sounds as if you are really excited about the prospect of doing a PGCE (I did mine a while back; the best job to have as a "forces sweetheart" IMO!) and it would be a shame for you to miss this opportunity.

We spend so much of our married lives willingly trailing around the world after our dh's at the mercy of the next posting. Consequently, I think it is so important to grab opportunities like this with both hands as you never know when the right time will arise again.

Have a word with DHE or the HIVE (if you are in a MQ) and find out whether you are eligible to stay on in a MQ after DH has been posted elsewhere, if you are doing a degree course.

Go for it and don't let dh's job get in the way too much, see it as YOUR turn to work toward your career

VanillaPumpkin · 01/10/2008 19:27

I know . Tis very frustrating to finally know what I want to do and have to put it off..... I just want to get started with it now.
I think I will apply anyway. I may not even get an interview after all. I have to go for it don't I?

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priceyp · 01/10/2008 19:31

VP I always think that in our situation you have to be selfish. If you don't book yourself onto the course now will it never happen? If OOA happens, not the worst case scenario. You have to think that at some point you would be working as a qualified teacher and you DH could go OOA and you'd have to manage!
Posting, tell the deskie to fark orf for a bit or try to stay in your quarter till you have to move. The longer you leave it the more likely scenario 2 is to happen. OOA that's just par for the course innit! Good luck though!
McD - I'm not stalking you honest!

VanillaPumpkin · 01/10/2008 19:32

Oh Nell I am so excited!!! That is just it. I think dh can put in for a non move if I get the course which sorts the posting (non officer you see), but the OOA is a more pressing issue...I don't want to be one of those wives iykwim esp as dh has only actually done one ooa (I now know I have just lost all your sympathy ) so I know his time is due. But how long can you put your career / life on hold. I do know it is for the children though not his job really as without them I could do the course anytime.....but without them I wouldn't have realised I was capable of doing it anyway......

Random musings now .

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FiveGoMadInDorset · 01/10/2008 19:32

You can do ASAIK a primary PGCE through teh OU

VanillaPumpkin · 01/10/2008 19:37

I think I could cope better with an OOA if I was working in a way though. I am under no illusions that this course is very time consuming, and I am not underestimating a teachers job, but I think the course will be the toughest bit....
I think I have to go for it though don't I?
Just applying will be a good experience for me too. And what if he doesn't get an OOA. How annoyed would I be then???
He is due really though....

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nell12 · 01/10/2008 19:39

GO FOR IT GO FOR IT GO FOR IT GO FOR IT!!!!!!!

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain! We will even help you fill out the application form

priceyp · 01/10/2008 19:42

Ikwym about OOA, but think of the course as the hard part.
It's only 3 terms worth of work/study/teaching practice. You will be off during the holidays, although you'll prob need to study. And if DH is OOA for 4 or 6 months then the chances are it'll only be for part of the course.

I'm just used to DH being away! Sadly for him life goes on chez nous and if he's about he just fits in with it all! But he wouldn't want it any other way.

priceyp · 01/10/2008 19:44

Do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VanillaPumpkin · 01/10/2008 19:45

. Careful I might hold you to that!

Can only find Secondary PGCE with the OU.

Thanks ladies. Have to dash as DH wants the computer for a bit.

Right off to ask the Head where I am volunteering if he will do me a reference. Eek!

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VanillaPumpkin · 01/10/2008 19:47

Yes it is the unknown for us. We haven't had an OOA since we have had the children (just courses away and sports trips etc) and have never had to juggle the childcare aspect.

I am going to stop now before I lose all your support. I feel like a fraud Forces Sweetheart . We are lucky with Dh's trade though.

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FairLadyRantALot · 01/10/2008 19:58

hm...I think you have to work out if you, if necessary, could do it wihtout his support...
I think the actual physical attendence on the full time pgce is 2 days a week....so, it might be managable with a good childminder, etc...

I assume it really is only that year, i.e. you don't need any recent study to show for...i.e. your previous degree is not that long ago?
Because then you would be talking the added time of that course...not sure if I am making sense...

good luck though!

Must admit, when dh was in the army I didn't even consider doing a degree...

ten10 · 01/10/2008 20:16

Thought I might add to this thread as someone who has done a PGCE,
it was full time 5 days a week, sometimes 6 as I had to go in some Saturdays aswell.
It was the toughest year of my life
as I was in college two weeks before I was out on my first teaching placement, which was 3 days a week and then college 2 days a week,
so I was doing paperwork and planning for the teaching and also reading, essays and other paperwork for college.
This went on till Christmas, then after the holidays I was back in college for 2 weeks before I was out to my second placement where I was 5 days a week, this is when I was sometimes in college on Saturdays.
The planning, paperwork, reading and essays were hardcore, I was working late into the evening most nights of the week just to keep up with everything.

I don't tell you this to worry you or put you off, but I do think that you need to discuss the timetable and the expectations of the course before you commit.

although it was hard, I throughly enjoyed the year.

scaryteacher · 01/10/2008 20:38

The PGCE is the easy bit, so be warned. The NQT year is the real killer, where you HAVE to front up each and perform whatever is going on at home.

Teaching is full of unexpected pleasures like staff training after hours, parents evenings, putting up displays, marking, and don't forget the planning. That cannot be done in a couple of hours until you have been teaching for a couple of years, and you also have to factor in all the government initiatives that will impinge on your lesson plans and mean that whole schemes of work have to be rewritten.

I did my PGCE at Marjons in 2000 when dh was a DS at the JSCSC Shrivenham, and that was tough even with my Mum around to help with child care when I needed it. It was also difficult when he was back in Devonport as we both worked long days, but I nearly always ended up doing the school run, the domestics, the cooking, plus teaching full time in secondary across 5 subjects.

He was then appointed abroad and went unaccompanied, so more of the same for me, except he wasn't about and only came home every six weeks. That was really tough, and I often worked til 1830, got home after picking ds up by 1930, spent 60 minutes with him before his bed time; sorted clothes for the next day, grabbed some soup if I had time, and then did marking/planning/resourcing etc for the next day. I left home at 0730 via ds's school and repeated the process.

I moved to be with dh abroad in 2006 as he had another appointment here, and he says it took 18 months for me to destress and revert to a human being/wife/mother/me instead of a teacher. It's a great job, but is hard to do half heartedly, or it was for me; I lived and breathed my job and never seemed to switch off fro it. Teaching is all absorbing and means that you may not be able to do things with and for your own kids. I couldn't go to school assemblies for example, or sports days, as I was working, which was sad for ds when dh was abroad.

You also need to have all your ducks in a row for if your kids are ill. there is only so much time you can take for that before people get pissed off, especially if you are eating into the schools budget by having to pay for cover for you.

I am not trying to put you off, but I did this for 5 years and although I loved it, I needed to step back from it and be a SAHM for a while - I went back to my previous job when ds was 6 months old, and only stopped working in 2006. It is very difficult to cope without family support, I was lucky my Mum had moved to Devon, and was only 10 minutes from me, so could field ds when he was ill and feed me once a week to make sure I ate.

Also, in primary bear in mind that you have to teach all the subjects, unlike secondary where we get to specialise, so some days I could teach the same lesson with tweaks according to the class, three times, which cuts down on planning. You won't have that luxury.

Good luck with whatever you decide...and what is an OOA? We don't have them in the Navy.

scaryteacher · 01/10/2008 20:41

I meant to say on a normal day if I got to bed by 0100 I was doing well.

FairLadyRantALot · 01/10/2008 22:25

wow....ten10....must have confused it with another teacher course, then....maybe it wasn't the pgce, maybe it is the 3 year undergraduate programme (if there is such thing...)...was talking to a few girls that want to become Primary teachers and they said it was only 2 days at UNi, and some placement...

I suppose if it is that full on, then op, you better get things organised in a way that you DO NOT depend on your OH....because otherwise you might find yourself unable to do it, iykwim....

VanillaPumpkin · 02/10/2008 12:57

Thank you. This is all valuable information....and exactly why I am concerned.
I have told DH that the course will not just be like me working full time, it will be ALL of my time inc weekends etc. I promise I understand the committment even if I don't truly realise it yet. This is the issue really.
OOA is an Out of Area so four months away to a hot place (or a cold one I suppose). I could not do the course if he went away. That is for sure, (unless I moved his Mum in and she and I would not survive that .) which is why I am so nervous. But what if he doesn't go and I have waited another year helping out at schools for free when I could be getting trained .

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nell12 · 02/10/2008 16:41

You could survive! My dh was in the Gulf (war #2) when I did my pgce. Admittedly ds was 5/6 when I did the course and so at school, but I managed.

Yes it was tiring and time consuming, but not to the extent that I could not be a passable mother, housewife and all-round dogsbody as well.

I did the SCITT PGCE; 50% uni 50% school. It was full time during term time and then we had school holidays off to do our 2 long projects. The only real issue I faced was when ds' holidays and mine did not match up.

I left home to get ds to school for 8am (when they opened) collected him by 5 15 most days (earlier on a Friday when I no longer cared ) and then did a couple of hours work in the evenings after ds went to bed. I was always in bed by 11 (can't cope without my sleep!) and I managed to be a mum to ds during the weekends.

Yes it is full-on but not to the extent that it will take up all of your time. Remember, a PGCE is a course you just have to pass; there is no 1st, 2:1, 2:2 grading. I did not break my neck to get through it all and I still passed and was even head-hunted for a job well before the end of the course.

So try not to worry about the workload; if you are organised, both at home and at school, you will get by.

scaryteacher · 02/10/2008 16:43

Well, I did my PGCE in Devon with dh at Shriv, and not always getting home at weekends and being away sometimes, so it is doable, but it's frowned upon to miss any of the teaching practice or the days in school, so you have to be very aware of what you're taking on, and how you manage it.

I taught for 2 years with dh in Brussels and ds at prep school which entailed a long day for him and for me. You really don't get a break as half terms are spent catching up with marking and prep for next half term; and holidays are for long and medium term planning, resourcing, subject knowledge etc, so it is tough. However, I was used to dh being away at sea and weekending, so I was used to having to cope iyswim. Having my mum 10 minutes drive away did help a lot though, and meant I could go to work on days when ds was ill.

You don't really realise the commitment until you take it on with teaching - it's a bit like marriage really, but it is very rewarding. As he's in the Forces is there ever going to be a good time to do it anyway?

mytetherisending · 02/10/2008 16:54

I'm going to do my HV public health course (degree for 1 year) and have exactly the same problem. My solution is to do it at the Uni near my MIL who will take dcs to nursery and collect at lunch, feed and keep until I get home. She doesn't drive so we are buying a house 2 doors up so we don't need to live together iyswim.

VanillaPumpkin · 02/10/2008 20:26

Wow mytether, that truly is a committment.

Dd1's teacher, who I have been doing most of my meaningful experience with offered to do me a reference today. That was a real boost. She obviously thinks she can write something positive about me . She has also said I can use any resources I need and take photos etc. How fabulous is that?

I have also contacted the Uni (last week) to ask about the term dates and rough timetable commitments and when the placements are likely to be. The lady on the phone was very helpful but I am still waiting on an email from her. There is an open day in November so I am looking forward to that.
DD1 will be in year 2 and dd2 will be in reception from the Jan during the course. The childminder I want to use has a daughter in dd1's class and is so lovely. She is also a forces wife who will understand my particular 'issues'.
DH is going to call his drafter tomorrow and say I am applying for this course to see what he says. If he laughs at DH we will know we have a problem hey?
I was in class again today and got such a buzz from it.
I have to apply. Even if it all goes wrong and I can't do the course when I want, I will still be reapplying a year later so it is all good experience.
I really appreciate all the comments though. The realistic ones as well as the encouraging ones. I haven't worked since I had dd1 so the whole childcare juggling has not been an issue before. And dhh has been able to concentrate wholly on his job and not even think about what he is having for dinner. He is up for the change, but is worried about having to go away......
His current job is not at all flexible either and I know this, plus the lack of family support, concerns him. Any job he could have on another unit would be more flexible, but I want to do the course here so that is not very helpful...

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